Top 50 Funny Inspirational Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.”

— Zig Ziglar

Also featured in: Motivational Quotes, Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes, Funny Quotes, Action Quotes

2. “Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.”

— Steve Martin

Also featured in: Persistence Quotes, Work Ethic Quotes, Quotes About Trying, Wise Quotes, Hilarious Quotes

3. “I’d far rather be happy than right any day.”

— Douglas Adams

Also featured in: Happiness Quotes, Funny Quotes, Fiction Quotes, Crazy Quotes

4. “Laughter opens your heart and soothes your soul. No one should ever take life so seriously that they forget to laugh at themselves.”

— Robin S. Sharma

Also featured in: Feel Good Quotes, Life Lessons Quotes, Mind Quotes, Feel Better Quotes

5. “The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.”

— Mark Twain

Also featured in: Business Quotes, Funny Quotes, Feel Good Quotes, Hilarious Quotes

6. “Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!”

— Dr. Seuss

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Creativity Quotes, Imagination Quotes

7. “To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.”

— Mark Twain

Also featured in: Hilarious Quotes

8. “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

— Woody Allen

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Hilarious Quotes

9. “Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.”

— Mark Twain

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Clever Quotes

10. “Sweat is just fat crying.”

— Anonymous

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Motivational Workout Quotes, Motivational Bodybuilding Quotes

11. “If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.”

— Joe Rogan

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Perspective Quotes, Crazy Quotes

12. “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”

— Miles Kington

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Knowledge Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Clever Quotes

13. “Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.”

— Stephen Hawking

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Science Quotes

14. “Once the travel bug bites there is no known antidote, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life”

— Michael Palin

Also featured in: Travel Quotes, Quotes About the World, Holiday Quotes, Vacation Quotes

15. “Be the Mick Jagger of the Mailroom, the Warren Buffett of Bookkeeping and the Bono of stapler selling”

— Robin S. Sharma

Also featured in: Silly Quotes, Witty Quotes

16. “Just say yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards.”

— Tina Fey

Also featured in: Hilarious Quotes, Funny Quotes About Life, Hate Quotes

17. “If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be. ”

— Yogi Berra

Also featured in: Athlete Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Funny Quotes About Life

18. “You only go around once, but if you play your cards right, once is enough.”

— Frank Sinatra

Also featured in: Life Is Short Quotes, Funny Quotes About Life

19. “I’m single because I was born that way.”

— Mae West

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Witty Quotes

20. “If I’m not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer.”

— Jim Carrey

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Famous Movie Quotes

21. “The future ain't what it used to be.”

— Yogi Berra

Also featured in: Future Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Different Quotes

22. “Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

Also featured in: Hilarious Quotes, Humor Quotes, Procrastination Quotes

23. “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”

— RuPaul

Also featured in: Self-Love Quotes, Love You Quotes, Rainbow Quotes

24. “Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Procrastination Quotes, Hesitation Quotes

25. “Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”

— Mark Twain

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Humor Quotes

26. “The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.”

— Tom Bodett

Also featured in: Experience Quotes, Teaching Quotes, School Quotes

27. “What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.”

— Pearl Bailey

Also featured in: Silly Quotes, Valentine's Day Quotes

28. “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you.”

— Oscar Wilde

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes

29. “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.”

— Groucho Marx

Also featured in: Humor Quotes, Mistake Quotes

30. “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”

— Steven Wright

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Hilarious Quotes

31. “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?”

— Leroy Satchel Paige

Also featured in: Crazy Quotes, Fun Quotes, Birthday Quotes

32. “The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”

— Steven Wright

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Humor Quotes, Funny Quotes About Life

33. “Write what you know. That should leave you with a lot of free time.”

— Howard Nemerov

Also featured in: Quotes About Writing, Sarcastic Quotes

34. “Free your mind and your ass will follow.”

— George Clinton

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes

35. “Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me – no, don’t sue me. That is opposite the point I’m trying to make.”

— Michael Scott

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Volunteer Quotes

36. “I have Many Problems in My Life. But my leaps don’t know that. They always smile.”

— Charlie Chaplin

Also featured in: Humor Quotes, Smile Quotes

37. “In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.”

— Tina Fey

Also featured in: Witty Quotes, Boss Quotes

38. “I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.”

— George Burns

Also featured in: Silly Quotes

39. “Life is what you make it: If you snooze, you lose; and if you snore, you lose more.”

— Phyllis George

Also featured in: Common Sense Quotes, Silly Quotes, Humor Quotes

40. “Never, ever underestimate the importance of having fun.”

— Randy Pausch

Also featured in: Humor Quotes, Fun Quotes

41. “Work hard. Don’t quit. Be appreciative, be thankful, be grateful, be respectful. Also, never whine, never complain. And always, for crying out loud, keep a sense of humor.”

— Michael Keaton

Also featured in: Common Sense Quotes

42. “Be yourself. No one can say you’re doing it wrong.”

— Charles M. Schulz

Also featured in: Acceptance Quotes, Being Yourself Quotes

43. “Showing up is 80 percent of life.”

— Woody Allen

44. “Work is much more fun than fun.”

— Noël Coward

Also featured in: Fun Quotes

45. “If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it.”

— Jonathan Winters

46. “My philosophy is: If you can’t have fun, there’s no sense in doing it.”

— Paul Walker

Also featured in: Silly Quotes

47. “Step with care and great tact. And remember life’s a great balancing act.”

— Dr. Seuss

48. “A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

— Roald Dahl

49. “A stranger is just a friend I haven’t met yet.”

— Will Rogers

Also featured in: Friends Quotes

50. “Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks.”

— Robert A. Heinlein

Also featured in: Crazy Quotes