Top 180 Rachel Hawkins Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “I think I can hold my own in smartassery.”

— Rachel Hawkins

2. “You hate him for what he did, but you miss him.”

— Rachel Hawkins

3. “No. Don’t distract me with your sexy talk.”

— Rachel Hawkins

4. “The “Holy-crap-that’s-a-lot-of-pink” zone would have been a more accurate description.”

— Rachel Hawkins

5. “There’s a trick to spinning lies. You have to embed the truth in there, just a glimmer of it. That’s the part that will catch people, and it’s what makes the rest of your lies sould like truth, too.”

— Rachel Hawkins

6. “One of my favorite things about Scotland so far is that the unicorn is their national animal. You really can’t hate a country where that’s the case.”

— Rachel Hawkins

7. “Why had my life suddenly become a Nancy Drew mystery from hell?”

— Rachel Hawkins

8. “Trust me, after the Boy Issues I’ve had, I’m becoming a nun.”

— Rachel Hawkins

9. “I’m not creepy. At least not on purpose.”

— Rachel Hawkins

10. “Please don’t joke and bleed at the same time.”

— Rachel Hawkins

11. “Irish girls, red hair,? I replied, remembering a picture of them from Mrs. Casnoff’s ‘People Who Want to Kill Us All’ lecture at Hex Hall last year.”

— Rachel Hawkins

12. “Okay, fine. But just so you know, following me into hell means you’re all definitely the sidekicks.”

— Rachel Hawkins

13. “Don’t even think about it, Mercer.”

— Rachel Hawkins

14. “He ran his thumb over my lower lip, sending a flurry of sparks through me. “Good-bye, Sophie.” -Cal.”

— Rachel Hawkins

15. “I wish we weren’t like this. You know, demon, demon-hunter. I wish I’d met you in a normal high school, and taken you on normal dates, and like, carried your books or something.”

— Rachel Hawkins

16. “Let’s just say you may regret that second piece of cake.? Oh my God. Regret cake? Whatever was about to happen must be truly evil.”

— Rachel Hawkins

17. “Archer Cross, resident bad boy and total heartthrob. Warlock. Every girl here is at least, like, half in love with him. Crushing on Archer Cross might as well be a class.”

— Rachel Hawkins

18. “I felt electrified from the top of my head to my toes, and somewhere in the back of my mind I heard Alice saying that love had a power all its own. She was right: this was magic.”

— Rachel Hawkins

19. “I rubbed my hand over my chest, just above my heart. Mrs. Casnoff watched with a look of concern. “Did he hurt you?” “No,” I told her. “He didn’t.” Nowhere you could see, at least.”

— Rachel Hawkins

20. “Wow, Cross. I think you missed your calling. Screw demon hunting: you should clearly be writing Hallmark cards.”

— Rachel Hawkins

21. “Red sky at night, sailor’s delight. Red sky at morning, sailors take warning.”

— Rachel Hawkins

22. “I’d been harboring this secret fantasy that he was only pretending to like her so that he could publicly dump her in the most embarrassing way possible, preferably on national television.”

— Rachel Hawkins

23. “A man who overestimates his intelligence is a man who can be easily manipulated.”

— Rachel Hawkins

24. “You know, ’help me, Sophie Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.”

— Rachel Hawkins

25. “Jackass, jackass on the wall, where’s the info on Hex Hall?”

— Rachel Hawkins

26. “When someone tells you somebody’s been murdered, laughing is probably not the best response. You know, for future reference. But laughing is exactly what I did.”

— Rachel Hawkins

27. “He raised an eyebrow, which made me totally jealous. I’ve never been able to do that. I always just end up raising both of them and looking surprised or scared instead of sardonic.”

— Rachel Hawkins

28. “This is another trick I’ve learned over the years – make people think they have the upper hand, and they trust you so much faster.”

— Rachel Hawkins

29. “But before he could either comfort me or commit further acts of violence upon my person, I spun away from him and made my drama queen moment complete by running away.”

— Rachel Hawkins

30. “Yeah, it’s beautiful. For a prison.”

— Rachel Hawkins

31. “They stared each other down, and while the dorky eleven-year-old in my soul kind of hoped that two hot boys might fight over me, the rational, seventeen-year-old knew that Archer need to get out of here, fast.”

— Rachel Hawkins

32. “Somehow, my whole existence had become a really complicated word problem. I’d always sucked at those.”

— Rachel Hawkins

33. “I would actually write books totally full of nothing BUT kissing scenes, but apparently people like books to have, like, “plots” or whatever.”

— Rachel Hawkins

34. “The great thing about best friends is that they know you really well. And the terrible thing about best friends is that they know YOU really well.”

— Rachel Hawkins

35. “But this room looked like it had been decorated by the unholy lovechild of Barbie and Strawberry Shortcake.”

— Rachel Hawkins

36. “Archer! Let us fetch a spot of tea, old boy!”

— Rachel Hawkins

37. “You know, Take Your Demon To Work Day.”

— Rachel Hawkins

38. “Most girls got flowers. I got a dirt pit used for demon raising. Nice.”

— Rachel Hawkins

39. “I’m not thrilled. And I totally reserve the right to angst over all this later. But honestly, Mom? Right now, I’m so happy to see you that I wouldn’t care if you’re secretly a ninja sent from the future to destroy kittens and rainbows.”

— Rachel Hawkins

40. “You know what’s awkward?” David asked, the corner of his mouth lifting. “Our entire existences?”

— Rachel Hawkins

41. “So I’m not going to be able to get up on the fence and sing ‘Yankee Doodle Dandy’ while waving six American flags and twirling a baton?”

— Rachel Hawkins

42. “You mean I’m the first guy your parents have rescued from an enchanted island via use of a magic mirror? I feel special.”

— Rachel Hawkins

43. “I wondered if there were ever times when Dad didn’t sound like he escaped from a Jane Austen novel.”

— Rachel Hawkins

44. “I bet she woke up with her hair looking like something out of a Pantene commercial while little bluebirds circled around her head, and raccoons brought her breakfast or something.”

— Rachel Hawkins

45. “At 7:45, I was in the bathroom putting on some mascara when Jenna slipped in wearing an outfit that I can only describe as Hello Kitty Goes Goth.”

— Rachel Hawkins

46. “So how was cellar duty tonight? Cellarific.”

— Rachel Hawkins

47. “I think I might have seen pride in Dad’s eyes. Or maybe it was just a gleam of Why is my offspring so insane?”

— Rachel Hawkins

48. “Ugh. A club for Prodigium? That conjured up images of way more velvet and dry ice and angst than I was up for.”

— Rachel Hawkins

49. “People are so rarely villains in their own minds.”

— Rachel Hawkins

50. “Dad finally stopped in a section of the house that looked like it hadn’t been used since Alice was here. The furniture was covered in heavy drop cloths, and a thick layer of dust and grime coated the portraits on the wall. In front of us was a heavy oak door, and when Dad pushed it open, I half expected someone’s crazy locked-away wife to spring out at us.”

— Rachel Hawkins