Top 350 Roald Dahl Quotes (2026 Update)
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301. “They is shootling guns and going up in aerioplanes to drop their bombs on each other’s heads every week. Human beans is always killing other human beans.”

— Roald Dahl

302. “I’m afraid men are not always quite as clever as they think they are.”

— Roald Dahl

303. “I always thought that a veruca was a sort of wart that you got on the sole of your foot!”

— Roald Dahl

304. “What she needed was just one person, one wise and sympathetic grown-up who could help her.”

— Roald Dahl

305. “We’ve got a lovely telly with a twelve-inch screen and now you come asking for a book! You’re getting spoiled, my girl!”

— Roald Dahl

306. “Now that I am alone, I don’t have to hide it; I don’t have to hide anything any longer. I can let my face go because no one can see me; because there’s twenty-one thousand feet between me and them... No, I don’t have to press my teeth together or tighten the muscles of my jaw...”

— Roald Dahl

307. “I has told you five or six times,’ he said, ’and the third will be the last.”

— Roald Dahl

308. “And when I protested a bit more, I remember he said, ‘My dear Lady Ponsonby, there’s nothing immoral about this. Art is only immoral when practiced by amateurs. It’s the same with medicine. You wouldn’t refuse to undress before your doctor, would you?”

— Roald Dahl

309. “I can see you is not born last week.”

— Roald Dahl

310. “In the end there’s nothing left except a pair of shoes and a bundle of old clothes.”

— Roald Dahl

311. “There was an air of menace about them as they loped slowly across the plain with long lolloping strides, heading for the BFG.”

— Roald Dahl

312. “How can you whip cream without whips? Whipped cream isn’t whipped cream at all unless it’s been whipped with whips. Just as a poached egg isn’t a poached egg unless it’s been stolen from the woods in the dead of night!”

— Roald Dahl

313. “I dare not do that, said Mr. Fox, because this place I am hoping to get is so marvelous that if I described it to you now you would go crazy with excitement.”

— Roald Dahl

314. “Most people – and especially small children – are often quite scared of being out of doors alone in the moonlight. Everything is so deadly quiet, and the shadows are so long and black, and they keep turning into strange shapes that seem to move as you look at them, and the slightest little snap of a twig makes you jump.”

— Roald Dahl

315. “But sometimes mysteries are more intriguing than explanations.”

— Roald Dahl

316. “When she marched – Miss Trunchbull never walked, she always marched like a storm-trooper with long strides and arms aswinging – when she marched along a corridor you could actually hear her snorting as she went, and if a group of children happened to be in her path, she ploughed right on through them like a tank, with small people bouncing off her to left and right.”

— Roald Dahl

317. “Mr. Wonka knows exactly what he’s doing.”

— Roald Dahl

318. “He always had to make his appearance felt immediately by creating a lot of noise and clatter.”

— Roald Dahl

319. “Extremely useful in the winter,′ said Mr Wonka, rushing on. ‘Hot ice cream warms you up no end in freezing weather. I also make hot ice cubes for putting in hot drinks. Hot ice cubes make hot drinks hotter.”

— Roald Dahl

320. “So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it.”

— Roald Dahl

321. “Mrs. Wormwood was hooked on bingo and played it five afternoons.”

— Roald Dahl

322. “You’d have been fossilized with fear and glued to the ground! Then they’d have got you! You’d have been a cooked cucumber! You’d have been rasped into a thousand tiny bits, grated like cheese and flocculated alive! They’d have made necklaces from your knucklebones and bracelets from your teeth!”

— Roald Dahl

323. “Whipped cream isn’t whipped cream at all unless it’s been whipped with whips. Everybody knows that.”

— Roald Dahl

324. “Just imagine that!”

— Roald Dahl

325. “His face was turning pale green, the colour of sour apples.”

— Roald Dahl

326. “She was talking very fast and very loudly to everyone, but it was not easy to hear all that she said because she was chewing so ferociously upon a piece of gum at the same time.”

— Roald Dahl

327. “Yes, but I’ve read the books as well.” Mrs. Phelps looked down at Matilda from her great height and Matilda looked right back up at her. “I thought some were very poor,” Matilda said, “but others were lovely. I liked The Secret Garden best of all. It was full of mystery. The mystery of the room behind the closed door and the mystery of the garden behind the big wall.”

— Roald Dahl

328. “Thank you so much for the tea.’ The.”

— Roald Dahl

329. “A girl should think about making herself look attractive so she can get a good husband later on. Looks is more important than books, Miss Hunky...”

— Roald Dahl

330. “Never and never, my girl riding far and near In the land of the hearthstone tales, and spelled asleep, Fear or believe that the wolf in the sheepwhite hood Loping and bleating roughly and blithely shall leap, my dear, my dear, Out of a lair in the flocked leaves in the dew dipped year To eat your heart in the house in the rosy wood.”

— Roald Dahl

331. “I’m afraid men are not always quite as clever as they think they are. You will learn that when you get a bit older, my girl.”

— Roald Dahl

332. “The same boiling water that softens the potato hardens the egg. It’s about what you’re made of, not the circumstances.”

— Roald Dahl

333. “You can put an Everlasting Gobstopper in your mouth and you can suck it and suck it and suck it and suck it and suck it and it will never get any smaller!”

— Roald Dahl

334. “1 Here Comes Charlie.”

— Roald Dahl

335. “Grandpa Joe was the oldest of the four grandparents. He was ninety-six and a half, and that is just about as old as anybody can be.”

— Roald Dahl

336. “Miss Trunchbull, the Headmistress, was something else altogether. She was a gigantic holy terror, a fierce tyrannical monster who frightened the life out of the pupils and teachers alike.”

— Roald Dahl

337. “But that’s enough of that. We can’t go on forever watching these two disgusting people doing disgusting things to each other. We must get ahead with the story. Here is a picture of Mr and Mrs Twit’s house and garden. Some house! It looks like a prison. And not a window anywhere.”

— Roald Dahl

338. “There isn’t a hope.”

— Roald Dahl

339. “She had heard that parents like this existed all over the place and that their children turned out to be delinquents and drop-outs, but it was still a shock to meet a pair of them in the flesh.”

— Roald Dahl

340. “Mike Teavee asked. “Why not use Oompa-Loompas?” “Because,” said Mr. Wonka, “Oompa-Loompas can’t get walnuts out.”

— Roald Dahl

341. “In one city, a famous gangster robbed a bank of a thousand pounds and spent the whole lot on Wonka bars that same afternoon. And when the police entered his house to arrest him, they found him sitting on the floor amidst mountains of chocolate, ripping off the wrappers with the blade of a long dagger.”

— Roald Dahl

342. “The picture showed a nine-year-old boy who was so enormously fat he looked as though he had been blown up with a powerful pump.”

— Roald Dahl

343. “Some parents go further. They become so blinded by adoration they manage to convince themselves their child has qualities of genius.”

— Roald Dahl

344. “Loompas in the boat outside are starting to sing!”

— Roald Dahl

345. “Just look at that beastly duck cooking at my stove!” Cried Mrs Gregg as she flew past the kitchen window. “How dare she!”

— Roald Dahl

346. “To send him shooting up the pipe! He has to go! It has to be!’ And very soon, he’s going to see Inside the room to which he’s gone Some funny things are going on. But don’t, dear children, be alarmed; Augustus Gloop will not be harmed, Although, of course, we must admit He will be altered quite a bit. He’ll be quite changed from what he’s been, When he goes through the fudge machine: Slowly, the wheels go round and round, The cogs begin to grind and pound;.”

— Roald Dahl

347. “The children and their parents were too flabbergasted to speak. They were STAGGERED.”

— Roald Dahl

348. “Don’t forget to believe in yourself. Somewhere inside all of us is the power to change the world.”

— Roald Dahl

349. “The Oompa-Loompas.”

— Roald Dahl

350. “Oh my gawd dad, what’ve you done to your hair?” the son shouted.”

— Roald Dahl