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Top 20 A.J. Sherwood Quotes (2025 Update)

A.J. Sherwood Quote: “I can do all things through spite, which strengthens me.”

1. “I can do all things through spite, which strengthens me.”

— A.J. Sherwood

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Resilience Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

A.J. Sherwood Quote: “Underestimate me. That’ll be fun.”

2. “Underestimate me. That’ll be fun.”

— A.J. Sherwood

A.J. Sherwood Quote: “The most disturbing thing about accidentally waking up at four in the morning is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise. Really, who in their ever lovin’ mind thinks this a good idea? Just being awake irritated me.”

3. “The most disturbing thing about accidentally waking up at four in the morning is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise. Really, who in their ever lovin’ mind thinks this a good idea? Just being awake irritated me.”

— A.J. Sherwood

A.J. Sherwood Quote: “Not to flex, but I’m better at making bad decisions than you.”

4. “Not to flex, but I’m better at making bad decisions than you.”

— A.J. Sherwood

A.J. Sherwood Quote: “I save lives each day because there are people out there who need to be stabbed. And I don’t stab them.”

5. “I save lives each day because there are people out there who need to be stabbed. And I don’t stab them.”

— A.J. Sherwood

A.J. Sherwood Quote: “Don’t tempt me. I do not want to go back there. The last time I was in an environment that hostile, I was allowed to shoot back.”

6. “Don’t tempt me. I do not want to go back there. The last time I was in an environment that hostile, I was allowed to shoot back.”

— A.J. Sherwood

A.J. Sherwood Quote: “Rather than a prince, she’d take an assassin coming to her rescue any day.”

7. “Rather than a prince, she’d take an assassin coming to her rescue any day.”

— A.J. Sherwood

A.J. Sherwood Quote: “You ever meet someone and want to buy them a taser for their bathtub?”

8. “You ever meet someone and want to buy them a taser for their bathtub?”

— A.J. Sherwood

A.J. Sherwood Quote: “I guess, sometimes, it’s really necessary to cut toxic people out of your life.” His expression was loving and supportive as he met my eyes. “It’s okay to do that, Ash. Just don’t use your fabric scissors.”

9. “I guess, sometimes, it’s really necessary to cut toxic people out of your life.” His expression was loving and supportive as he met my eyes. “It’s okay to do that, Ash. Just don’t use your fabric scissors.”

— A.J. Sherwood

A.J. Sherwood Quote: “You have a train of thought?” Wicky asked, mock-surprised. “Wooow, really? Like, on rails and everything? I have a Roomba of thought. It can move ahead, but it likes to bump into things, get stuck where it’s not supposed to, and spin off in totally different directions.”

10. “You have a train of thought?” Wicky asked, mock-surprised. “Wooow, really? Like, on rails and everything? I have a Roomba of thought. It can move ahead, but it likes to bump into things, get stuck where it’s not supposed to, and spin off in totally different directions.”

— A.J. Sherwood

A.J. Sherwood Quote: “I could safely say I would rather be sunburnt at the lake, covered in skeeter bites, trying to kill a water moccasin with a flip-flop, than be in the trunk of a kidnapper’s car.”

11. “I could safely say I would rather be sunburnt at the lake, covered in skeeter bites, trying to kill a water moccasin with a flip-flop, than be in the trunk of a kidnapper’s car.”

— A.J. Sherwood

A.J. Sherwood Quote: “Ours is a tale as old as time... A true romance that has been repeated throughout history. I saw a hottie in a tavern, took one look at him, and thought, I want that.”

12. “Ours is a tale as old as time... A true romance that has been repeated throughout history. I saw a hottie in a tavern, took one look at him, and thought, I want that.”

— A.J. Sherwood

A.J. Sherwood Quote: “His mind wandered to a happy place where he could throat punch people and there were puppies and cupcakes after.”

13. “His mind wandered to a happy place where he could throat punch people and there were puppies and cupcakes after.”

— A.J. Sherwood

A.J. Sherwood Quote: “Are you seriously trying to make me use ‘yeet’ in a spell?” Bel didn’t even blink, just drolly responded, “Spellcraft is about intent, and the wording of a spell is often the product of the vernacular at the time, therefore using ‘yeet’ in a banishing spell is perfect acceptable. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.”

14. “Are you seriously trying to make me use ‘yeet’ in a spell?” Bel didn’t even blink, just drolly responded, “Spellcraft is about intent, and the wording of a spell is often the product of the vernacular at the time, therefore using ‘yeet’ in a banishing spell is perfect acceptable. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.”

— A.J. Sherwood

A.J. Sherwood Quote: “Wicky lifted his head, blinking a little and getting one brown eye open. “I can do all things through spite, which strengthens me.”

15. “Wicky lifted his head, blinking a little and getting one brown eye open. “I can do all things through spite, which strengthens me.”

— A.J. Sherwood

A.J. Sherwood Quote: “Ross wasn’t one for seizing the day. He preferred poking at it with a stick.”

16. “Ross wasn’t one for seizing the day. He preferred poking at it with a stick.”

— A.J. Sherwood

A.J. Sherwood Quote: “I wasn’t saying they were stupid, but if you put a candle next to their ears, their eyes would shine.”

17. “I wasn’t saying they were stupid, but if you put a candle next to their ears, their eyes would shine.”

— A.J. Sherwood

A.J. Sherwood Quote: “Okay, so, I’m in Ikea, right?” Anh started, looking done with life. “And I’m trying to pronounce some of the names on these tags. Somehow – I have no idea how – but somehow I managed to summon a demon. He’s demanding the reason for his summons. What do I do with him?”

18. “Okay, so, I’m in Ikea, right?” Anh started, looking done with life. “And I’m trying to pronounce some of the names on these tags. Somehow – I have no idea how – but somehow I managed to summon a demon. He’s demanding the reason for his summons. What do I do with him?”

— A.J. Sherwood

A.J. Sherwood Quote: “Was there a term like hangry, but in conjunction with sleep?”

19. “Was there a term like hangry, but in conjunction with sleep?”

— A.J. Sherwood

A.J. Sherwood Quote: “I’m not procrastinating!” Ross called back, finishing attaching a very scary looking headdress onto a normally shy elf. “I’m doing side quests!”

20. “I’m not procrastinating!” Ross called back, finishing attaching a very scary looking headdress onto a normally shy elf. “I’m doing side quests!”

— A.J. Sherwood

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