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Top 100 Adam Carolla Quotes (2025 Update)
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Adam Carolla Quote: “The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.”

101. “The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.”

— Adam Carolla

Adam Carolla Quote: “If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?”

102. “If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?”

— Adam Carolla

Adam Carolla Quote: “If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.”

103. “If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.”

— Adam Carolla

Adam Carolla Quote: “I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.”

104. “I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.”

— Adam Carolla

Adam Carolla Quote: “He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.”

105. “He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.”

— Adam Carolla

Adam Carolla Quote: “They turn to people who failed out of junior college to tell them they can cure their cancer with purified water and good vibes.”

106. “They turn to people who failed out of junior college to tell them they can cure their cancer with purified water and good vibes.”

— Adam Carolla

Adam Carolla Quote: “When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.”

107. “When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.”

— Adam Carolla

Adam Carolla Quote: “Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.”

108. “Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.”

— Adam Carolla

Adam Carolla Quote: “I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.”

109. “I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.”

— Adam Carolla

Adam Carolla Quote: “She was so racially sensitive and suffering from secondhand outrage, she had to protest.”

110. “She was so racially sensitive and suffering from secondhand outrage, she had to protest.”

— Adam Carolla

Adam Carolla Quote: “Nowadays, telling your wife “I have to work” gets you a disappointed sigh. This is the worst period in history to be a dad. It used to be that if you worked and provided that was enough.”

111. “Nowadays, telling your wife “I have to work” gets you a disappointed sigh. This is the worst period in history to be a dad. It used to be that if you worked and provided that was enough.”

— Adam Carolla

Adam Carolla Quote: “When you have kids, your castle becomes their bouncy castle. In my case, this is literally true. Jimmy Kimmel bought Sonny and Natalia this inflatable castle in 2012. It’s the real deal. At first, I thought he had rented it. No, he bought it.”

112. “When you have kids, your castle becomes their bouncy castle. In my case, this is literally true. Jimmy Kimmel bought Sonny and Natalia this inflatable castle in 2012. It’s the real deal. At first, I thought he had rented it. No, he bought it.”

— Adam Carolla

Adam Carolla Quote: “It’s the constant chase that makes the one-percenter the one-percenter. The key to financial and career success is to never be satisfied. But that’s not necessarily the key to life success. No.”

113. “It’s the constant chase that makes the one-percenter the one-percenter. The key to financial and career success is to never be satisfied. But that’s not necessarily the key to life success. No.”

— Adam Carolla

Adam Carolla Quote: “You can be an expert on anything if you just use logic.”

114. “You can be an expert on anything if you just use logic.”

— Adam Carolla

Adam Carolla Quote: “People always said to me, “You must have been dyslexic.” I wasn’t. Why is it that when a white kid can’t read people say he’s dyslexic but when a black kid can’t read people say he “fell through the cracks.” This is a racist thought. I was as white as they come, and I fell through the cracks known as my parents and the Los Angeles school system. That said, Dyslexia would make a great black name. Sounds like a good wide out for the Steelers.”

115. “People always said to me, “You must have been dyslexic.” I wasn’t. Why is it that when a white kid can’t read people say he’s dyslexic but when a black kid can’t read people say he “fell through the cracks.” This is a racist thought. I was as white as they come, and I fell through the cracks known as my parents and the Los Angeles school system. That said, Dyslexia would make a great black name. Sounds like a good wide out for the Steelers.”

— Adam Carolla

Sarcastic Quotes

Sarcastic Quotes

Demotivational Quotes

Demotivational Quotes

Quotes About Stories

Quotes About Stories

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Sarcastic Quotes

Sarcastic Quotes

Demotivational Quotes

Demotivational Quotes

Quotes About Stories

Quotes About Stories

Motivational Quotes

Motivational Quotes

INSPIRATIONAL SUCCESS MOTIVATIONAL

Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes

Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes

ENTREPRENEURSHIP BUSINESS INSPIRATIONAL

Positive Quotes

Positive Quotes

Albert Einstein Quotes

Albert Einstein Quotes

ENTREPRENEURSHIP BUSINESS INSPIRATIONAL

Steve Jobs Quotes

Steve Jobs Quotes

ENTREPRENEURSHIP BUSINESS APPLE

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