Top 300 Alice Oseman Quotes (2026 Update)
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51. “Happiness,” he says, “is the price of profound thought.”

— Alice Oseman

52. “You probably think Aled Last and I are going to fall in love or something. Since he is a boy and I am a girl. I just wanted to say- we don’t. That’s all.”

— Alice Oseman

53. “Everything’s better under the stars, I suppose. If we get another life after we die, I’ll meet you there, old sport...”

— Alice Oseman

54. “I’ve been looking for you,” I say. I cannot feel most of my body. For some reason he puts his hands on either side of my face and leans forward and says: “Tori Spring, I have been looking for you forever.”

— Alice Oseman

55. “Maybe you are a manically depressed psychopath.”

— Alice Oseman

56. “This is too much mind-fuckery for this time of day. I’m not even sure I’m actually awake.”

— Alice Oseman

57. “There comes a point, though, when you can’t keep looking after other people any more. You have to start looking after yourself.”

— Alice Oseman

58. “You’re... it’s hard to explain. It’s like, if you had to provide evidence for soul mates, everyone would pick you two.”

— Alice Oseman

59. “I have a pretty sad life as it is.” It takes a few seconds for the full impact of his final line to reach me. It’s the first time I’ve heard Michael Holden say something like that. Like something I would say. “Hey,” I say. I nod at him, earnestly. “So do I.”

— Alice Oseman

60. “There’s a time and a place for being normal. For most people, normal is their default setting. But for some, like you and me, normal is something we have to bring out, like putting on a suit for a posh dinner.”

— Alice Oseman

61. “But also knowing that... sometimes people need more support than just one person can give. That’s love, darling.”

— Alice Oseman

62. “Sometimes I like to fill my days with little things that other people don’t care about. It makes me feel like I’m doing something important, mainly because no one else is doing it.”

— Alice Oseman

63. “She’s happy with who she is. Maybe it’s not the heteronormative dream that she grew up wishing for, but... knowing who you are and loving yourself is so much better than that, I think.”

— Alice Oseman

64. “In an otherwise mediocre existence, we chose to feel passion.”

— Alice Oseman

65. “I can’t really remember when Nick and Charlie became Nick-and-Charlie, but Nick is the only one who visited Charlie when he was ill, so in my books... he’s definitely alright.”

— Alice Oseman

66. “Because, like, we’re all waiting for something to change. Patience can kill you.”

— Alice Oseman

67. “I don’t know why I made all that fuss the other day. No that’s a lie. I do know why. It’s because I’m an idiot.”

— Alice Oseman

68. “Nick and Charlie! Are the two of you coming, or-Oh. You’re being gay. Good job. Carry on.”

— Alice Oseman

69. “I’d listen to you for hours.”

— Alice Oseman

70. “I think everyone’s a bit bored with boy-girl romances anyway,” he said. “I think the world’s had enough of those, to be honest.”

— Alice Oseman

71. “You deserve better friends,′ she said. ‘You’re a sunshine angel.”

— Alice Oseman

72. “I kept peeling off layers of my personality, but I seemed to be going in circles. Every time I thought I’d worked out what I really enjoyed, I started to second-guess myself. Maybe I just didn’t enjoy anything any more.”

— Alice Oseman

73. “I swear to God I’m a freak. I mean it. One day I’m going to forget how to wake up.”

— Alice Oseman

74. “And there’s sort of a moment where everyone’s sitting and thinking, you know? Like that feeling when you finish watching a film. You turn off the TV, the screen is black, but the pictures are replaying in your head and you think, what if that’s my life? What if that’s going to happen to me?”

— Alice Oseman

75. “If this is the best time of my life, I might as well end it immediately.”

— Alice Oseman

76. “I think you should know that I make up a lot of stuff in my head and then get sad about it.”

— Alice Oseman

77. “I wonder sometimes whether you’ve exploded already, like a star, and what I’m seeing is you three million years in the past, and you’re not here any more.”

— Alice Oseman

78. “I wish I could be as subtle and beautiful. All I know how to do is scream.”

— Alice Oseman

79. “Nice people are vulnerable because they don’t know how to be mean.”

— Alice Oseman

80. “Give your friendships the magic you would give a romance. Because they’re just as important. Actually, for us, they’re way more important.”

— Alice Oseman

81. “Everyone’s different inside their head.”

— Alice Oseman

82. “Well, when you don’t come to terms with your sexuality until your mid-twenties, you tend to miss out on all those beautiful gay teenage experiences.”

— Alice Oseman

83. “I don’t understand why you can’t accept things like this. If you can’t accept things you don’t understand, then you’ll spend your life questioning everything. Then you’ll have to live out your life in you own head.”

— Alice Oseman

84. “We’re so used to disaster that we accept it. We think we deserve it.”

— Alice Oseman

85. “Are you crying? Oh, wow, I sound like Wendy from Peter Pan.′ His eyes blurred momentarily before looking at me again. ‘Girl, why are you crying?”

— Alice Oseman

86. “Split between the green and the blue, there is an indefinable beauty that people call humanity.”

— Alice Oseman

87. “I’m tired, though. I’m so tired of defending myself.”

— Alice Oseman

88. “There were never any romantic feelings between Pip, Jason and me. But what we did have -afriendship of many years- was just as strong as that, I think. Stronger, maybe than a lot of couples I knew.”

— Alice Oseman

89. “I hadn’t realized I was crying. I don’t really feel sad. I don’t really feel anything.”

— Alice Oseman

90. “The stars are always on your side.”

— Alice Oseman

91. “I couldn’t quite believe how much I seriously loved Aled Last, even if it wasn’t in the ideal way that would make it socially acceptable for us to live together until we die.”

— Alice Oseman

92. “I hold up a hand and salute them, and they scream back at me. That’s how we communicate.”

— Alice Oseman

93. “I just check my phone for the six hundred billionth time. And there’s nothing, of course. Nothing.”

— Alice Oseman

94. “I punched her in the face and she got a nosebleed and cried. An accurate metaphor for most of my past friendships.”

— Alice Oseman

95. “He shakes his head. “You know all the names to books, but you haven’t read a single one. It’s like it’s raining money, but you refuse to catch a single coin.”

— Alice Oseman

96. “I don’t remember it happening. I don’t remember anything I’ve done, or why. Everything’s very confused.”

— Alice Oseman

97. “Exactly. Two idiots in love. Couple goals.”

— Alice Oseman

98. “Being clever was, after all, my primary source of self-esteem. I’m a very sad person, in all senses of the word, but at least I was going to get into university.”

— Alice Oseman

99. “If this room were a person it would be a Kardashian on a moderate income.”

— Alice Oseman

100. “We both say, ‘Aaaaaay,’ at the same time, and I think that means we’re friends.”

— Alice Oseman