Top 300 Alice Oseman Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “Sometimes I wish I were a normal human being. But I can’t. I’m not. No matter how hard I try.”

— Alice Oseman

2. “You know, if you want to be happier, you have to try. You have to put in the effort. Your problem is that you don’t try.” I do try. I have tried. I have tried for sixteen years.”

— Alice Oseman

3. “I actually think that a lot of people are very beautiful, and maybe even more beautiful when they are not aware of it themselves.”

— Alice Oseman

4. “But books–they’re different. When you watch a film, you’re sort of an outsider looking in. With a book–you’re right there. You are inside. You are the main character.”

— Alice Oseman

5. “I’m excellent at faking being okay with things, even when inside my brain there is a tiny screaming gnome who is definitely not okay.”

— Alice Oseman

6. “God, I am sad, gay and alone.”

— Alice Oseman

7. “Are you drunk?” “I’m a poet.”

— Alice Oseman

8. “I don’t want people to be worried about me. There’s nothing to worry about. I don’t want people to try and understand why I’m the way I am, because I should be the first person to understand that. And I don’t understand yet. I don’t want people to interfere. I don’t want people in my head, picking out this and that, permanently picking up the broken pieces of me.”

— Alice Oseman

9. “It’s just that it’s not socially acceptable to say depressing stuff out loud in the real world because people think that you’re attention seeking.”

— Alice Oseman

10. “You like to act as if you care about nothing and if you carry on like that then you’re going to drown in the abyss you have imagined for yourself.”

— Alice Oseman

11. “Nothing’s going to change until you decide you want it to change.”

— Alice Oseman

12. “Do you think that, if we were happy for our entire lives, we would die feeling like we’d missed out on something?”

— Alice Oseman

13. “As far as I’m concerned, I came out of the womb spouting cynicism and wishing for rain.”

— Alice Oseman

14. “I really don’t do anything unless I actually want to do it. And most of the time I don’t want to do anything at all.”

— Alice Oseman

15. “All I know is that I’m here. And I’m alive. And I’m not alone.”

— Alice Oseman

16. “I think you should know that I make up a lot of stuff up in my head and then get sad about it. I like to sleep and I like to blog. I am going to die someday.”

— Alice Oseman

17. “I’ve learnt some Things. Like the way friendship can be just as intense, beautiful and endless as romance. Like the way there’s love everywhere around me – there’s love for my friends, there’s love for my paintings, there’s love for myself.”

— Alice Oseman

18. “You can’t tell whether people are gay by what they look like. And gay or straight aren’t the only two options.”

— Alice Oseman

19. “Just because someone smiles doesn’t mean that they’re happy.”

— Alice Oseman

20. “I’m not afraid, said Noah, I was born for this.”

— Alice Oseman

21. “Love can’t cure a mental illness. There are lots of ways to help him, you can just be there. To listen. To talk. To cheer him up if he’s having a bad day. And on the bad days, you can ask what to could do to make things easier. Stand by his side, even when things are hard. But also knowing that sometimes people need more support than just one person can give. That’s love darling.”

— Alice Oseman

22. “Most adults see teenagers as confused kids who don’t understand much, while they’re the pillars of knowledge and experience and know exactly what is right at all times. I think the truth is that everyone in the entire world is confused and nobody understands much of anything at all.”

— Alice Oseman

23. “Aled Last looked a little like a child who’d lost their mum in a supermarket.”

— Alice Oseman

24. “I didn’t even know what was wrong. Everything. Myself. I didn’t know. How come everyone else could function and I couldn’t? How could everyone live properly yet I had some sort of error in my programming?”

— Alice Oseman

25. “Honestly I’m having a full on Gay Crisis.”

— Alice Oseman

26. “Having not seen him for over two weeks, just the sight of him makes me want to run up to him and kiss him and hold him and not let go of him for at least twenty minutes. I clench my fists and stay very still as he walks up to me. God, everything about him is so perfect.”

— Alice Oseman

27. “My brother, my little brother, he’s soooo perfect, but he’s- he doesn’t like food, like, literally doesn’t like food, or, I don’t know, he loves it. He loves it so much that it has to be perfect all the time, you know? And then one day he got so fed up with himself, he was like, he was so annoyed, he hated how much he loved food, yeah, so he thought it would be better if there wasn’t any food. But that’s so silly! Because you’ve got to eat food or you’ll die, won’t you?”

— Alice Oseman

28. “One person can change everything,′ he says. ‘And you have changed everything for me.”

— Alice Oseman

29. “Sometimes i think if nobody spoke to me, i’d never speak again.”

— Alice Oseman

30. “I actually think that a lot of people are very beautiful, and maybe even more beautiful when they are not aware of it themselves. In the end, though, being beautiful doesn’t do much for you as a person apart from raise your ego and give you an increased sense of vanity.”

— Alice Oseman

31. “I like Charlie Spring! In a romantic way not just a friend way!”

— Alice Oseman

32. “Happiness,” he says, “is the price of profound thought.”

— Alice Oseman

33. “Family means nothing,” she said, and I knew she believed it. “You have no obligation to love your family. It wasn’t your choice to be born.”

— Alice Oseman

34. “I like to think we would find each other in any universe.”

— Alice Oseman

35. “You probably think Aled Last and I are going to fall in love or something. Since he is a boy and I am a girl. I just wanted to say- we don’t. That’s all.”

— Alice Oseman

36. “I wonder- if nobody is listening to my voice, am I making any sound at all?”

— Alice Oseman

37. “Everything’s better under the stars, I suppose. If we get another life after we die, I’ll meet you there, old sport...”

— Alice Oseman

38. “I’ve been looking for you,” I say. I cannot feel most of my body. For some reason he puts his hands on either side of my face and leans forward and says: “Tori Spring, I have been looking for you forever.”

— Alice Oseman

39. “I don’t want people to try and understand why I’m the way I am, because I should be the first person to understand that. And I don’t understand yet.” – p. 266.”

— Alice Oseman

40. “Maybe you are a manically depressed psychopath.”

— Alice Oseman

41. “You’re... it’s hard to explain. It’s like, if you had to provide evidence for soul mates, everyone would pick you two.”

— Alice Oseman

42. “I don’t think my mum likes me very much. That doesn’t matter, because I don’t really like her either.”

— Alice Oseman

43. “There comes a point, though, when you can’t keep looking after other people any more. You have to start looking after yourself.”

— Alice Oseman

44. “Nobody is honest, nobody is real. You can’t trust anyone or anything. Emotions are humanity’s fatal disease. And we’re all dying.”

— Alice Oseman

45. “This is too much mind-fuckery for this time of day. I’m not even sure I’m actually awake.”

— Alice Oseman

46. “It’s all fake. Everyone is faking. Why does no one care about anything?”

— Alice Oseman

47. “In an otherwise mediocre existence, we chose to feel passion.”

— Alice Oseman

48. “There’s a time and a place for being normal. For most people, normal is their default setting. But for some, like you and me, normal is something we have to bring out, like putting on a suit for a posh dinner.”

— Alice Oseman

49. “I have a pretty sad life as it is.” It takes a few seconds for the full impact of his final line to reach me. It’s the first time I’ve heard Michael Holden say something like that. Like something I would say. “Hey,” I say. I nod at him, earnestly. “So do I.”

— Alice Oseman

50. “Just because something doesn’t matter doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing.”

— Alice Oseman