Top 100

Top 40 Earl Wilson Quotes (2023 Update)

Earl Wilson Quote: “Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you’ve been taking.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Always remember, money isn’t everything – but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Money in the bank is like toothpaste in the tube. Easy to take out, hard to put back.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Success is a matter of luck. If you want proof, ask any failure.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Somebody figured it out- we have 35 million laws trying to enforce Ten Commandments.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “If you look like your passport photo, in all probability you need the journey.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Middle Age – later than you think and sooner than you expect.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “If you wouldn’t write it and sign it, don’t say it.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “To sell something, tell a woman it’s a bargain; tell a man it’s deductible.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Mathematics-a wonderful science, but it hasn’t yet come up with a way to divide one tricycle between three small boys.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Saying ‘Gesundheit’ doesn’t really help the common cold – but its about as good as anything the doctors have come up with.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women – but not far enough to lose his balance.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “You may not be able to read a doctor’s handwriting and prescription, but you’ll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don’t.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “No horse can go as fast as the money you put on it.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Poise: the ability to be ill at ease inconspicuously.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Feminists say 60 percent of the country’s wealth is in the hands of women. They’re letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Isn’t it a shame that future generations can’t be here to see all the wonderful things we’re doing with their money?”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Many a standing ovation has been caused by someone jumping to his feet in an effort to beat the rest of the audience to the parking lot.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “He’s so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “This is the age of bargain hunters. If it had been this way in biblical times, we’d probably have been offered another commandment free if we had accepted the first ten.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “Today’s accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “A woman may race to get a man a gift but it always ends in a tie.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “The man who didn’t want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.”
Earl Wilson Quote: “There’s only one kind of tax that would please everybody – one that nobody but the other guy has to pay.”
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