Create Yours

Top 200 Hilarious Quotes (2024 Update)

Hilarious Quotes: “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.” — Groucho Marx
Hilarious Quotes: “Let’s think the unthinkable, let’s do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.” — Douglas Adams
Hilarious Quotes: “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” — Bill Watterson
Hilarious Quotes: “When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.” — Steven Wright
Hilarious Quotes: “The universe clearly operates for the benefit of humanity. This can be readily seen from the convenient way the sun comes up in the morning, when people are ready to start the day.” — Terry Pratchett
Hilarious Quotes: “I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.” — George Carlin
Hilarious Quotes: “Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.” — Steve Martin
Hilarious Quotes: “Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.” — Oscar Wilde
Hilarious Quotes: “Life’s hard. It’s even harder when you’re stupid.” — John Wayne
Hilarious Quotes: “If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’” — Dave Barry
Hilarious Quotes: “Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.” — Mark Twain
Hilarious Quotes: “Intelligence is the ability to avoid doing work, yet getting the work done.” — Linus Torvalds
Hilarious Quotes: “Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” — Jackie Mason
Hilarious Quotes: “Don’t ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what.” — Michael Scott
Hilarious Quotes: “Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.” — Dave Barry
Hilarious Quotes: “There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.” — Charles Dickens
Hilarious Quotes: “Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.” — Mark Twain
Hilarious Quotes: “Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.” — Mark Twain
Hilarious Quotes: “Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order.” — Michael Scott
Hilarious Quotes: “If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.” — Steven Wright
Hilarious Quotes: “A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.” — George Carlin
Hilarious Quotes: “Laughter is an instant vacation.” — Milton Berle
Hilarious Quotes: “Just say yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards.” — Tina Fey
Hilarious Quotes: “If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be. ” — Yogi Berra
Hilarious Quotes: “A cup of tea would restore my normality.” — Douglas Adams
Hilarious Quotes: “I reject your reality and substitute my own.” — Adam Savage
Hilarious Quotes: “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish and you feed yourself. He’s a grown man, fishing’s not that hard.” — Nick Offerman
Hilarious Quotes: “Sometimes I stagger even myself with my genius.” — Jeremy Clarkson
Hilarious Quotes: “The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.” — Terry Pratchett
Hilarious Quotes: “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” — Douglas Adams
Hilarious Quotes: “The future ain't what it used to be.” — Yogi Berra
Hilarious Quotes: “Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.” — Ellen DeGeneres
Hilarious Quotes: “I think I’m like wine. The older I get, the better I get.” — Zlatan Ibrahimovic
Hilarious Quotes: “I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.” — Andy Rooney
Hilarious Quotes: “Every time I see some piece of medical research saying that caffeine is good for you, I high-five myself. Because I’m going to live forever.” — Linus Torvalds
Hilarious Quotes: “If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.” — Douglas Adams
Hilarious Quotes: “The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” — E.E. Cummings
Hilarious Quotes: “Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.” — Terry Pratchett
Hilarious Quotes: “Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.” — Tina Fey
Hilarious Quotes: “In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” — Douglas Adams
Hilarious Quotes: “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.” — Steven Wright
Hilarious Quotes: “Having fun is a very particular skill. And not everyone has that skill.” — Jerry Seinfeld
Hilarious Quotes: “If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn’t be. And what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?” — Lewis Carroll
Hilarious Quotes: “Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.” — Robert A. Heinlein
Hilarious Quotes: “My hobby is my job. It’s a jobby!” — Graham Coxon
Hilarious Quotes: “I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There’s no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing, so get yourself a sexy raincoat and live a little.” — Billy Connolly
Hilarious Quotes: “No matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everybody on the couch.” — Unknown
Hilarious Quotes: “Don’t interrupt me while I’m interrupting.” — Winston Churchill
Hilarious Quotes: “He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.” — Douglas Adams
Hilarious Quotes: “Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.” — Douglas Adams
PREV 1 2 3 4 NEXT
Firsts Quotes
Fun Quotes
Real Quotes
Reading Quotes
Book Quotes
Sarcastic Quotes
Quotes About Stories
Country Quotes
Silly Quotes
Strong Quotes
Funny Quotes
Witty Quotes

Beautiful Wallpapers and Images

We hope you enjoyed our collection of 200 Hilarious Quotes.

All the images on this page were created with QuoteFancy Studio.

Use QuoteFancy Studio to create high-quality images for your desktop backgrounds, blog posts, presentations, social media, videos, posters, and more.

Learn more