Top 200 Evan Esar Quotes (2024 Update)
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151. “If you can’t bear to have your face stepped on, don’t try to climb the ladder of success.”

— Evan Esar

152. “The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery – amputation at the neck.”

— Evan Esar

153. “Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice.”

— Evan Esar

154. “A smart mother suggests that her child bring an apple to his teacher; a smarter mother suggests that he bring a couple of aspirins.”

— Evan Esar

155. “The three chief causes of divorce are men, women, and marriage.”

— Evan Esar

156. “The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.”

— Evan Esar

157. “Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches.”

— Evan Esar

158. “Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.”

— Evan Esar

159. “A man doesn’t have vacation problems: his boss tells him when to take them, and his wife tells him where.”

— Evan Esar

160. “Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.”

— Evan Esar

161. “The difference between two men is usually a woman.”

— Evan Esar

162. “Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.”

— Evan Esar

163. “The difference between us and other people is that their money looks bigger and their troubles smaller.”

— Evan Esar

164. “The state of the Union largely depends on the state of the unions.”

— Evan Esar

165. “Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.”

— Evan Esar

166. “To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him.”

— Evan Esar

167. “The saddest thing in life is to marry a woman who looks like a cook – and isn’t.”

— Evan Esar

168. “Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.”

— Evan Esar

169. “All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.”

— Evan Esar

170. “If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.”

— Evan Esar

171. “Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They’ve done a lot of research on it But what it is, they’re still not sure.”

— Evan Esar

172. “The man who avoids debt doesn’t have to worry about avoiding his creditors.”

— Evan Esar

173. “There is nothing more dignified than a corpse.”

— Evan Esar

174. “Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.”

— Evan Esar

175. “Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.”

— Evan Esar

176. “A special skill, like speaking several languages, or keeping your mouth shut in one.”

— Evan Esar

177. “If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.”

— Evan Esar

178. “Some couples divorce because of a misunderstandin g; others, because they understand each other too well.”

— Evan Esar

179. “Egocentricity: The vanity that makes you wonder what people are thinking about you when they are really wondering what you are thinking about them.”

— Evan Esar

180. “An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.”

— Evan Esar

181. “There is a lot of difference between the man who is not able and his brother who is notable.”

— Evan Esar

182. “You can always tell the golfer who’s winning: he’s the one who keeps telling his opponent that it’s only a game.”

— Evan Esar

183. “Worry makes people thin, except when they worry about being fat.”

— Evan Esar

184. “It takes far more courage to violate a custom than a law.”

— Evan Esar

185. “Some women get divorces on the grounds of incompatibility; others, on just the first two syllables.”

— Evan Esar

186. “There’s nothing as short as short-term debt.”

— Evan Esar

187. “Many people will laugh at the drop of a hat, especially if the man is still in it.”

— Evan Esar

188. “Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.”

— Evan Esar

189. “A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.”

— Evan Esar

190. “Many a wedding takes place when a man can’t afford to go steady with a girl any longer.”

— Evan Esar

191. “A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.”

— Evan Esar

192. “The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.”

— Evan Esar

193. “About the only time Congress conforms to the will of the people is when it decides to adjourn.”

— Evan Esar

194. “The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.”

— Evan Esar

195. “If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one.”

— Evan Esar

196. “The trouble with dieting is that a pound of will power takes off only an ounce of weight.”

— Evan Esar

197. “All things come to him who waits, but they are mostly leftovers from those who didn’t wait.”

— Evan Esar

198. “Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.”

— Evan Esar

199. “Women diet to retain their girlish figures or their boyish husbands.”

— Evan Esar

200. “It’s surprising how much wisdom every man possesses – if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.”

— Evan Esar