Top 200 Evan Esar Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.”

— Evan Esar

2. “In a democracy, you believe it or not; in a dictatorship, you believe it or else.”

— Evan Esar

3. “Character is what you have left when you’ve lost everything you can lose.”

— Evan Esar

4. “A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa.”

— Evan Esar

5. “Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.”

— Evan Esar

6. “All work and no pay makes a housewife.”

— Evan Esar

7. “Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry – and the world laughs harder.”

— Evan Esar

8. “We can’t do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it’s width and depth.”

— Evan Esar

9. “There’s only one thing worse than to live without working, and that is to work without living.”

— Evan Esar

10. “A vacation is like love – anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia.”

— Evan Esar

11. “The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.”

— Evan Esar

12. “The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.”

— Evan Esar

13. “The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.”

— Evan Esar

14. “Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.”

— Evan Esar

15. “There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.”

— Evan Esar

16. “This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.”

— Evan Esar

17. “Setelah kebijaksanaan akan muncul kebahagiaan.”

— Evan Esar

18. “Some men take good care of a car; others treat it like one of the family.”

— Evan Esar

19. “The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.”

— Evan Esar

20. “Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.”

— Evan Esar

21. “Life is a battle of wits, and many people have to fight it unarmed.”

— Evan Esar

22. “Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.”

— Evan Esar

23. “Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.”

— Evan Esar

24. “The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams.”

— Evan Esar

25. “Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn’t done it.”

— Evan Esar

26. “Everything comes to him who waits – if he waits till it comes.”

— Evan Esar

27. “Children grow out of childhood, but parents never grow out of parenthood.”

— Evan Esar

28. “If you want to be different nowadays, just act normal.”

— Evan Esar

29. “The word impossible is peculiar because if you examine it closely, you’ll find that most of it is possible.”

— Evan Esar

30. “A lecturer often makes you feel dumb at one end and numb at the other.”

— Evan Esar

31. “Good teachers cost a lot; but, poor teachers cost a lot more.”

— Evan Esar

32. “Nowadays it’s not who wears the pants in the family, but who carries the credit cards.”

— Evan Esar

33. “Hindsight is good, foresight is better; but second sight is best of all.”

— Evan Esar

34. “The disadvantage of becoming wise is that you realize how foolish you’ve been.”

— Evan Esar

35. “The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.”

— Evan Esar

36. “A word to the wise is – unnecessary.”

— Evan Esar

37. “A bureaucrat is an official who is clothed with power and whom it doesn’t fit.”

— Evan Esar

38. “When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.”

— Evan Esar

39. “The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.”

— Evan Esar

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40. “The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.”

— Evan Esar

41. “A dictator’s chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.”

— Evan Esar

42. “The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.”

— Evan Esar

43. “A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change.”

— Evan Esar

44. “If you don’t like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.”

— Evan Esar

45. “Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.”

— Evan Esar

46. “Many a man who falls in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.”

— Evan Esar

47. “Some men are so eager for success that they are even willing to work for it.”

— Evan Esar

48. “Ego: The only thing that can keep growing without nourishment.”

— Evan Esar

49. “The survival of the fittest is going to make some man very lonesome some day.”

— Evan Esar

50. “Divorce has become so easy nowadays that women have stopped crying at weddings.”

— Evan Esar