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Larry David Quotes

Larry David Quote: “A good compromise is when both parties are dissatisfied.”
Larry David Quote: “A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone.”
Larry David Quote: “I don’t like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.”
Larry David Quote: “When you’re not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.”
Larry David Quote: “I find human contact repulsive.”
Larry David Quote: “Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good.”
Larry David Quote: “If you tell the truth about how you’re feeling, it becomes funny.”
Larry David Quote: “Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.”
Larry David Quote: “Who do you think has more freedom: the married man in America or the single man in Communist China?”
Larry David Quote: “Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don’t want to in order to figure out what it is you’re supposed to do.”
Larry David Quote: “I’m a walking, talking enigma. We’re a dying breed.”
Larry David Quote: “I’m trying to elevate small-talk to medium talk.”
Larry David Quote: “You can’t do anything in life. The social barriers in life are so intense and horrific that every encounter is just fraught with so many problems and dread. Every social situation is a potential nightmare.”
Larry David Quote: “I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.”
Larry David Quote: “Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough.”
Larry David Quote: “Women love a self-confident bald man.”
Larry David Quote: “I got a Swede lawyer?!? She’s gonna get everything!”
Larry David Quote: “I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors – the thieves don’t impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.”
Larry David Quote: “Luck always plays a part for everyone, whether they want to admit it or not. I was very lucky, and I know it.”
Larry David Quote: “I’m surprized Hitler didn’t round up the toupee people.”
Larry David Quote: “I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic.”
Larry David Quote: “There’s nothing that reflects me. I’m unreflectable!”
Larry David Quote: “I think we’re all good and bad, but good’s not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.”
Larry David Quote: “Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn’t involve a woman.”
Larry David Quote: “Golf and dating don’t mix.”
Larry David Quote: “I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money – this is the guy who needs to laugh.”
Larry David Quote: “Weathermen merely forecast rain to keep everyone else off the golf course.”
Larry David Quote: “Do not degrade me in the military uniform I wear for it represents the love I have for my country, and the sacrifices myself and millions of other American soldiers make everyday to protect the freedom we enjoy by living in the United States of America.”
Larry David Quote: “Switzerland is a place where they don’t like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.”
Larry David Quote: “I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it’s hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.”
Larry David Quote: “I’ve been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don’t need to know anymore.”
Larry David Quote: “I don’t like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.”
Larry David Quote: “I’m not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.”
Larry David Quote: “I learned the first night that IHOP’s not the place to order fish.”
Larry David Quote: “Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.”
Larry David Quote: “I gave a funny speech at my wife’s birthday party, and I’m thinking, ‘Hey, I’ve still got it.’”
Larry David Quote: “I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.”
Larry David Quote: “A place to go – that’s what my mother always instilled in me. You need a place to go. And you’re worthless unless you have a place to go.”
Larry David Quote: “I don’t think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It’s not even interesting to me.”
Larry David Quote: “I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them.”
Larry David Quote: “Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis.”
Larry David Quote: “I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.”
Larry David Quote: “Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I’m deaf and I try to imagine what it’s like not to be able to hear them. It’s not that bad.”
Larry David Quote: “It’s always good to take something that’s happened in your life and make something of it comedically.”
Larry David Quote: “I defy anyone to produce any evidence that the word ‘happy’ has ever crossed my lips. I am not now, nor have I ever been, ‘happy.’”
Larry David Quote: “I have no sense of well-being. There’s no chance the well will run dry.”
Larry David Quote: “Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.”
Larry David Quote: “Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I’m very casual about it.”
Larry David Quote: “Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I’m Jewish.”
Larry David Quote: “Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?”
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