Top 200 Louis C.K. Quotes (2024 Update)
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151. “You know, the people who do indie film and decide who gets those little budgets? They’re mean, man. They’re cold and very cool-oriented.”

— Louis C.K.

152. “I’ve had, what, two years? Probably five good years. Before that I had twenty years of uncertainty and suffering and ego destruction and poverty. All those things. That’ll always outweigh the good times.”

— Louis C.K.

153. “I don’t like comedy. I like funny things. I don’t like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, ‘Oh Jesus.’”

— Louis C.K.

154. “I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you’re going to be taken through.”

— Louis C.K.

155. “A lot of the struggle I had with movies is I really loved moments and tones and feelings in a scene, and I loved creating those, but I never really had great stories to string them together.”

— Louis C.K.

156. “Anytime you see a bit where some stranger does something to me, it’s me.”

— Louis C.K.

157. “I’ve always got the road. Stand-up makes you so autonomous and self-sufficient that it really helps with that part of show business.”

— Louis C.K.

158. “The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn’t choose to.”

— Louis C.K.

159. “I love comedians. They’re my community.”

— Louis C.K.

160. “To me, it’s very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it’s not me.”

— Louis C.K.

161. “There’s no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it.”

— Louis C.K.

162. “I grew up watching all these crazy movies, European movies and stuff, and I guess that I always laughed at things that were a little more offbeat.”

— Louis C.K.

163. “When people are getting richer and richer but they’re not actually producing anything, it can’t end well.”

— Louis C.K.

164. “I was an awkward kid.”

— Louis C.K.

165. “I do feel a lot of times like I’m out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is.”

— Louis C.K.

166. “You have to be able to do a bunch of things at once, and not think about things you’re not doing while you’re doing other things. You have to be disciplined about not trying to do everything, all at the same time. It’s hard and fun.”

— Louis C.K.

167. “I’ve had soccer moms come up and tell me they can relate when I say that I want to throw my baby in the trash.”

— Louis C.K.

168. “Apple embodies a lot of what have been defined as feminine traits: an emphasis on intuitive design, intellect, a strong sense of creativity, and that striving to always make the greatest version of something.”

— Louis C.K.

169. “In 27 years doing this, I’ve seen a handful of truly great, masterful standup sets. One was Tig Notaro last night at Largo.”

— Louis C.K.

170. “I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed.”

— Louis C.K.

171. “I like all ladies of all different ages.”

— Louis C.K.

172. “Everybody is different. Some comedy is more musical like Steven Wright. His is a pillar of comedy to me. He invented a whole form and all his jokes are poems. So it’s different. I wanted to do it like George Carlin. Now I do it like me.”

— Louis C.K.

173. “Sometimes I try to take a nap before shows. That clears my head.”

— Louis C.K.

174. “It’s hard to know where your thoughts come from, especially when you have a thirst for material because you need it professionally.”

— Louis C.K.

175. “I wish I could keep a journal. I have a lot of journals with one page half written in. I sometimes will write myself a quick email on my Blackberry when I think of something.”

— Louis C.K.

176. “I killed my Facebook page years ago because time clicking around is just dead time. Your brain isn’t resting and it isn’t doing. I think people have to get their heads around this thing. All this unmitigated input is hurting folks.”

— Louis C.K.

177. “I don’t feel those limits when I’m on stage. For some reason, audiences let me get away with things. Remember, it’s all comedy. Words. Thoughts. All thoughts are safe and worth exploring.”

— Louis C.K.

178. “Performing comedy, you develop a rhythm of ideas and laughs. I live for it.”

— Louis C.K.

179. “It’s more fun to experience things when you don’t know what’s going to happen.”

— Louis C.K.

180. “There’s nothing that beats proving you’re funny by making a funny thing, and right now there are huge outlets for that, with You Tube and all the other stuff online.”

— Louis C.K.

181. “I’m not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad.”

— Louis C.K.

182. “For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I’m making plenty of money.”

— Louis C.K.

183. “There’s no way you ask Sean Penn a question and then, you’re gonna be HUGE !”

— Louis C.K.

184. “The thing is, comedy’s gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness.”

— Louis C.K.

185. “Comedy isn’t polite and it isn’t correct and it isn’t accurate, even. It’s just a mess. So that’s the way that I approach it.”

— Louis C.K.

186. “If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don’t.”

— Louis C.K.

187. “People don’t talk to me on airplanes.”

— Louis C.K.

188. “A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much.”

— Louis C.K.

189. “I could never sit down and write jokes.”

— Louis C.K.

190. “I know what it’s like to have a bunch of material that’s working that you don’t care about. You want to die.”

— Louis C.K.

191. “Either I’ll never get rich from the show but remain intensely proud of the work and stand behind every second of it, or it catches on and I’ll make my money down the road.”

— Louis C.K.

192. “I’m close to my audience. I think I have more tools in my box than other guys who might try it. Also, I know how to do this stuff. I know how to write and shoot and edit. I’m technically adept and that helped with the website. You need a big skill set.”

— Louis C.K.

193. “If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are.”

— Louis C.K.

194. “I’ve always benefited from knowing machines well, because it’s freedom, it gives you freedom, I always knew that.”

— Louis C.K.

195. “My kids are really easy. I often worry that they’re too easy to deal with. They’re really nice people.”

— Louis C.K.

196. “I think I’m past any window where I’m suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, ‘Oh, my God, what happened to you?’”

— Louis C.K.

197. “Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That’s like a sports thing, it’s not usually a comedy and writing thing.”

— Louis C.K.

198. “My uncles were all funny. My dad wasn’t funny, but my uncles were all funny. Now I go back and I like him better than them, they were manipulative funny.”

— Louis C.K.

199. “I’m not a political comedian. That’s just not what I do.”

— Louis C.K.

200. “Technically, I’ve learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance.”

— Louis C.K.