Top 250 Marshall B. Rosenberg Quotes (2024 Update)
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151. “We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we’re going to punish them, or ‘guilt’ them if they don’t. This applies to ourselves as well.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

152. “All criticism, attack, insults, and judgments vanish when we focus attention on hearing the feelings and needs behind a message. The more we practice in this way, the more we realize a simple truth: behind all those messages we’ve allowed ourselves to be intimidated by are just individuals with unmet needs appealing to us to contribute to their well-being.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

153. “We recognize that real educational reform is essential if today’s and tomorrow’s children are to live in a more peaceful, just, and sustainable world.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

154. “My need is for safety, fun and to have distribution of resources, a sustainable life on the planet. NVC is a strategy that serves me to meet these needs.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

155. “If we want to make meetings productive, we need to keep track of those whose requests are on the table.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

156. “We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves. As author and mythologist Joseph Campbell suggested, “‘What will they think of me?’ must be put aside for bliss.” We begin to feel this bliss when messages previously experienced as critical or blaming begin to be seen for the gifts they are: opportunities to give to people who are in pain.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

157. “With empathy we don’t direct, we follow. Don’t just do something, be there.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

158. “Before we tackle the gangs and the basic story, we have to make sure that we have liberated ourselves from how we have been educated and make sure we are coming from a spirituality of our own choosing.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

159. “As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism. We come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

160. “Tragically, one of the rarest commodities in our culture is empathy. People are hungry for empathy, They don’t know how to ask for it.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

161. “The spirituality that we need to develop for social change is one that mobilizes us for social change.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

162. “We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

163. “You can’t make your kids do anything. All you can do is make them wish they had. And then, they will make you wish you hadn’t made them wish they had.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

164. “Whether I praise or criticize someone’s action, I imply that I am their judge, that I’m engaged in rating them or what they have done.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

165. “NVC can be effectively applied at all levels of communication and in diverse situations: intimate relationships, families, schools, organizations and institutions, therapy and counseling, diplomatic and business negotiations, disputes and conflicts of any nature.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

166. “The number one rule of our training is empathy before education.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

167. “NVC gives us tools and understanding to create a more peaceful state of mind.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

168. “Empathy: Emptying our mind and listening with our whole being.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

169. “We use NVC to evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather than self-hatred.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

170. “The more we use words that in any way imply criticism, the more difficult it is for people to stay connected to the beauty within themselves.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

171. “When I recognize I’ve got anger, then I realize it’s because I have a need that’s not being met.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

172. “What bores the listener bores the speaker too.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

173. “NVC heightens our awareness that what others say and do may be the stimulus, but never the cause, of our feelings. We see that our feelings result from how we choose to receive what others say and do, as well as from our particular needs and expectations in that moment. With this third component, we are led to accept responsibility for what we do to generate our own feelings.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

174. “For centuries, the image of the loving woman has been associated with sacrifice and the denial of one’s own needs to take care of others. Because women are socialized to view the caretaking of others as their highest duty, they often learn to ignore their own needs.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

175. “The best way I can get understanding from another person is to give this person the understanding, too. If I want them to hear my needs and feelings, I first need to empathize.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

176. “The number one reason that we don’t get our needs met, we don’t express them. We express judgments. If we do express needs, the number two reasons we don’t our needs met, we don’t make clear requests.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

177. “Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful – but it’s a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

178. “Social change involves helping people see new options for making life wonderful that are less costly to get needs met.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

179. “We can never make anyone do anything against their will without enormous consequences.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

180. “Never give advice to your children unless you have it in writing and notarized.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

181. “People do not hear our pain when they believe they are at fault.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

182. “Compliments and praise, for their part, are tragic expressions of fulfilled needs.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

183. “Miracles can happen when we can keep our consciousness away from analyzing and classifying one another.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

184. “The more we empathize with the other party, the safer we feel.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

185. “As long as I think I ‘should’ do it, I’ll resist it, even if I want very much to do it.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

186. “Any time you throw pain at a Jackal without a clear present request, within a millisecond he’ll jump in.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

187. “When we are angry, killing people is too superficial.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

188. “Needs are never conflicting. When we say that, we are only saying that at the moment we aren’t seeing how both needs can be met. That leaves an opening. When you think in the way I’m suggesting, you’ll often find a way to get most needs met simultaneously.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

189. “My theory is that we get depressed because we’re not getting what we want, and we’re not getting what we want because we have never been taught to get what we want. Instead, we’ve been taught to be good little boys and girls and good mothers and fathers. If we’re going to be one of those good things, better get used to being depressed. Depression is the reward we get for being “good.” But, if you want to feel better, I’d like you to clarify what you would like people to do to make life more wonderful for you.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

190. “Plans to exact retribution are never going to make us safer.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

191. “NVC is a reminder; to focus our attention where we are most likely to get our needs met.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

192. “Upset? Ask yourself what this person does that is a trigger for judging them?”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

193. “In a Giraffe institution, the head nurse job would be to serve the nurses, not to control them. Teachers are there to serve the students, not control them.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

194. “My anger tells me firstly that there’s a need of mine that’s not getting met.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

195. “As radical as it may seem, it is possible to do things only out of play. I believe that to the degree that we engage moment by moment in the playfulness of enriching life- motivated solely by the desire for its enrichment- to that degree are we being compassionate with ourselves.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

196. “MBR: First, I’d like to know what I said or did that made life more wonderful for you.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

197. “When we have our consciousness on needs, images come to us, naturally, of how to meet those needs.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

198. “Be very slow to go into looking for solutions.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

199. “The ability to offer empathy to people in stressful situations can defuse potential violence.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

200. “There is a story of a man on all fours under a street lamp, searching for something. A policeman passing by asked what he was doing. “Looking for my car keys,” replied the man, who appeared slightly drunk. “Did you drop them here?” inquired the officer. “No,” answered the man, “I dropped them in the alley.” Seeing the policeman’s baffled expression, the man hastened to explain, “But the light is much better here.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg