Top 160 Oliver Markus Malloy Quotes (2025 Update)
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51. “Dear Trumptards, so how are you enjoying the beginning of World War 3 so far? Is it all you hoped it would be?”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

52. “Republican ideology in a nutshell: Some of you will die but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

53. “Do flat-earthers believe that other planets are also flat?”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

54. “You’re not the butcher, selling sausages. You’re the cow, pre-sausage.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

55. “Democrats suck at coming up with catchy propaganda slogans, because they don’t think like Nazis.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

56. “Only the present is real. The past and the future exist only in our imagination.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

57. “It’s so exhausting, so mentally and emotionally draining when you care about a drug addict and they never miss an opportunity to disappoint, manipulate or hurt you.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

58. “You want to make America great again? Make racism wrong again!”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

59. “Never trust a Republican.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

60. “Have you noticed all the misogynistic teenage Trump trolls online? What does it say about the Trump era that young incels feel nothing but hatred for women and can’t find it in their heart to say one kind thing about a female? What happened to this country?”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

61. “Everything we men do, everything we men have done for the past 100,000 years, is all about attracting a mate. When a guy tries to impress a girl with his fancy car, or his expensive suit, or his gold watch, or his flashy shirt at the club, or he flexes his biceps, or brags about how much money he makes, he’s doing the same thing that animals have done for millions of years. Like a peacock, he’s trying to make himself desirable and to attract a mate.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

62. “If you’re afraid to leave the house unless you’re armed, you don’t need a gun, you need a psychiatrist.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

63. “I think there is only one way the Covid-19 pandemic is gonna end: The immune will live. The rest will die. We might lose a 5th of the world population.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

64. “A God that never interferes is indistinguishable from a God that doesn’t exist.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

65. “This, today, right now, will seem like the good old days in 2 weeks. Things are about to get a hell of a lot worse.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

66. “If you like war, be a nationalist. If you like peace, be a citizen of the world.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

67. “Would three boobs be better than two?”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

68. “Sin more! Otherwise Jesus died for nothing.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

69. “Make racism wrong again.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

70. “People have always been vain. Can you imagine what it was like when some guy invented the first mirror? Maidens probably spent all day and night just staring at their own reflection in the dim candle light of their drafty castle tower, back when the first mirrors were cutting edge technology.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

71. “You must be a Fox News viewer. Nobody else is dumb enough to believe Trump’s lies.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

72. “Have you heard of the ‘Deaths of Despair’ epidemic in rural America? The quality of life in Republican-run red states is so bad, rednecks are literally killing themselves because they’d rather be dead than live in a Republican state for another day.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

73. “Hitler loved to describe any newspaper that exposed him for what he was as Luegenpresse, which is German for Fake News.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

74. “Why do women love to read about sexually aggressive billionaire bad boy alpha males but condemn the same behavior in real life?”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

75. “Nationalism among nations is like racism among races. Racism and nationalism are forms of tribalism. Tribalism always, always leads to war. Why? Because every nation thinks they’re superior to other nations, and their own self-interest is more important than the self-interest of other nations.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

76. “Patriotism is a gateway drug to fascism. Tribalism is the gateway to racism.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

77. “Even if there were no more books published ever, there are still more books in existence today than anyone can read. And most of them suck. Good luck trying to find a good one. It’s like finding a needle in a hay stack.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

78. “Coronavirus needs a better name. Something bad ass, like the Black Plague. I’m thinking Airborne Aids. Or Flying Herpes.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

79. “Don’t worry about offending people. Any time you write something thought provoking, some idiots will complain, because they hate it when you make them think.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

80. “Owning a gun proves “In God we trust” is a lie. If you actually trusted in God, you wouldn’t feel like you need a gun.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

81. “2020 books, 2020 quotes, trumpvirus, insurrection, capitol attack, domestic terrorism, trumpism, twitter quotes, trump twitter quotes, january 6th.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

82. “It’s not the Illuminati or Free Masons or Lizard Aliens who control everything. It’s the Republican Conspiracy that controls and manipulates you with their lies.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

83. “Guns make losers feel like winners. That’s why people who suck at life don’t want to give up their guns.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

84. “It would appear that a lot of people out there are hiding their own dark, socially unacceptable sexual fantasies behind a facade of fake indignant outrage when someone else gets caught with their pants down.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

85. “Capitalism is cruelty for money.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

86. “You have not had any privacy since the first day you owned your first cell phone. They can track everything. They can hear recordings of anything you have ever said on your cell. And read everything you ever read, and everything you ever typed. And see every location you’ve ever been to. That’s just how cells work. Your privacy is a willful illusion.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

87. “When the rest of the world watches the news from America, they see a third world dumpster fire. A failed state.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

88. “The coronavirus pandemic is exactly the kind of cataclysmic event that brings about drastic changes. I think Medicare For All and UBI are now inevitable. It’s either that, or complete chaos.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

89. “The only people who try to deny the existence of Russian trolls are Russian trolls.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

90. “The difference between a writer and an author: Writers call each other writers. Readers call writers authors.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

91. “Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” Plato “To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” Ralph Waldo Emerson.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

92. “Worshipping a cross is no different than worshipping a tree, a rock, or the stars.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

93. “The attacks on the US capitol on January 6th, 2021 will have ripple effects for years to come. We’re no longer in the September 11th era. We’re now in the January 6th era.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

94. “Daily mass killings are a uniquely American problem, because in America every halfwit can get his hands on a gun. You know what angry halfwits do in other countries? They throw potatoes.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

95. “Yo mama so stupid, she watches Fox News and voted for Trump.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

96. “Guns are useless against a tyrannical government with tanks and drones.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

97. “No, coronavirus is not just the flu. Covid19 is highly contagious pneumonia. Left untreated pneumonia is often deadly. There are not enough hospitals to treat a pneumonia pandemic.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

98. “How Republicans think: Healthcare for peasants is too expensive. Just let the sick ones die and tell the healthy ones to have more kids. Problem solved.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

99. “There’s a big overlap between conspiracy theorists, racists, gun nuts, doomsday preppers, fans of the rapture and poor white Republicans. They all have one thing in common: They feel like the oppressed underdogs.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

100. “It’s the Yelp effect. Every halfwit who eats food suddenly thinks he’s a food critic. And don’t get me started on people “reviewing” books they didn’t even read. Who needs information, when you can have an uninformed opinion?”

— Oliver Markus Malloy