Top 160 Oliver Markus Malloy Quotes (2024 Update)
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51. “Democrats suck at coming up with catchy propaganda slogans, because they don’t think like Nazis.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

52. “Next time a little edgelord comments “OK boomer” to troll you, just troll him right back and reply with “I bet you like chicken nuggets.” All small children like chicken nuggets.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

53. “Only the present is real. The past and the future exist only in our imagination.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

54. “It’s not the Illuminati or Free Masons or Lizard Aliens who control everything. It’s the Republican Conspiracy that controls and manipulates you with their lies.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

55. “What makes a good book? An author who knows how to leave out all the unnecessary bulk and delivers a lean story where not a single word is fluff.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

56. “We live in this bubble of ignorance. Most people know nothing about history, or the historical context of the traditions they still follow today. People do things without knowing why they’re doing them.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

57. “It’s so exhausting, so mentally and emotionally draining when you care about a drug addict and they never miss an opportunity to disappoint, manipulate or hurt you.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

58. “You have not had any privacy since the first day you owned your first cell phone. They can track everything. They can hear recordings of anything you have ever said on your cell. And read everything you ever read, and everything you ever typed. And see every location you’ve ever been to. That’s just how cells work. Your privacy is a willful illusion.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

59. “When the rest of the world watches the news from America, they see a third world dumpster fire. A failed state.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

60. “You want to make America great again? Make racism wrong again!”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

61. “The attacks on the US capitol on January 6th, 2021 will have ripple effects for years to come. We’re no longer in the September 11th era. We’re now in the January 6th era.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

62. “Everything we men do, everything we men have done for the past 100,000 years, is all about attracting a mate. When a guy tries to impress a girl with his fancy car, or his expensive suit, or his gold watch, or his flashy shirt at the club, or he flexes his biceps, or brags about how much money he makes, he’s doing the same thing that animals have done for millions of years. Like a peacock, he’s trying to make himself desirable and to attract a mate.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

63. “If you’re afraid to leave the house unless you’re armed, you don’t need a gun, you need a psychiatrist.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

64. “Creativity takes courage. It takes courage to bare your soul for the world. It’s like taking off your armor, although you know people have pointy sticks that they love to jab into soft flesh.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

65. “A God that never interferes is indistinguishable from a God that doesn’t exist.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

66. “Americans like to buy things they don’t need, with money they don’t have, to impress people they don’t like. And then they wonder why they’re not happy.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

67. “Would three boobs be better than two?”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

68. “Would Jesus build a wall? Would Mother Teresa? No, of course not. They would welcome the refugees and give them free universal healthcare.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

69. “Most anti-science religious fundamentalist is now in charge of America’s biggest science project.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

70. “Hitler loved to describe any newspaper that exposed him for what he was as Luegenpresse, which is German for Fake News.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

71. “Nationalism among nations is like racism among races. Racism and nationalism are forms of tribalism. Tribalism always, always leads to war. Why? Because every nation thinks they’re superior to other nations, and their own self-interest is more important than the self-interest of other nations.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

72. “Owning a gun proves “In God we trust” is a lie. If you actually trusted in God, you wouldn’t feel like you need a gun.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

73. “2020 books, 2020 quotes, trumpvirus, insurrection, capitol attack, domestic terrorism, trumpism, twitter quotes, trump twitter quotes, january 6th.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

74. “Never forget that the orange clown spent the past 2 months telling us that it’s all just a hoax, and just a flu, instead of preparing the country for the pandemic. The medical supply shortages, and the resulting deaths are Trump’s fault.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

75. “So they tell you to buy stuff. More and more and more stuff. Even if you don’t need any more stuff, buy more stuff! Because capitalism is like a pyramid scheme. It must constantly grow, constantly shovel more money to the top, like a sand monster feeding itself sand, or it dies.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

76. “It would appear that a lot of people out there are hiding their own dark, socially unacceptable sexual fantasies behind a facade of fake indignant outrage when someone else gets caught with their pants down.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

77. “I liked the ending of The Sopranos. The screen suddenly went black. In the middle of a scene. Without any of the plotlines being resolved. That’s what real life is like. Everything keeps going, until someone turns off the lights and you’re dead. And even then the story continues, without you. There is no such thing as a happy ending.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

78. “Everyone thinks they’re entitled to their 15 minutes of fame. And it’s that narcissism that makes people, who have no business writing a book, think they can write a book.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

79. “The coronavirus pandemic is exactly the kind of cataclysmic event that brings about drastic changes. I think Medicare For All and UBI are now inevitable. It’s either that, or complete chaos.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

80. “Trump’s MAGA minions live in a Fox News bubble.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

81. “People don’t believe in God because it’s true, but because they were the victims of early childhood indoctrination.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

82. “You know what I love about writing non-fiction? The story is already there. I just have to write it down.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

83. “The only people who try to deny the existence of Russian trolls are Russian trolls.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

84. “Why is it so hard for many erotica authors to admit that erotica is porn? Everyone loves porn!”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

85. “The difference between a writer and an author: Writers call each other writers. Readers call writers authors.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

86. “North Korea, the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, isn’t democratic. The Nazis, the National Socialists, weren’t socialists. And America isn’t the land of the free. It’s all just clever nationalist marketing.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

87. “Medical studies have shown that cursing reduces levels of stress and pain. Repressing your anger is not healthy. It’s much better to verbalize it, and let off steam. Maybe all that repressed anger is the reason why there are so many serial killers in America.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

88. “Worshipping a cross is no different than worshipping a tree, a rock, or the stars.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

89. “What is love? Love is when your heart has a raging boner.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

90. “There is neither a Heaven nor a Hell. Life after Death is an oxymoron. Life is just another word for existence, and Death is just another word for non-existence.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

91. “Daily mass killings are a uniquely American problem, because in America every halfwit can get his hands on a gun. You know what angry halfwits do in other countries? They throw potatoes.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

92. “I think there’s something seriously wrong with a society that thinks it’s wrong to tell the truth, because it could potentially hurt someone’s feelings. You’re not doing anyone any favors if you don’t allow snowflakes to develop coping skills, by shielding them from uncomfortable thoughts.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

93. “There’s a big overlap between conspiracy theorists, racists, gun nuts, doomsday preppers, fans of the rapture and poor white Republicans. They all have one thing in common: They feel like the oppressed underdogs.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

94. “Claiming to be offended is a great way to elevate yourself at the expense of others: “Look at me! I’m a much better person than you! And I judge you! I condemn you! Shame! Shame! SHAME!”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

95. “No, guns were not meant for overthrowing a tyrannical government. Guns were for protecting the tyrannical government against Native Americans and slave uprisings.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

96. “What is evil? Causing others to suffer out of malice.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

97. “When you say someone is stubborn and irrational because they’re black, that’s racism. When you say someone is stubborn and irrational because they’re female, that’s sexism. When you say someone is stubborn and irrational because they’re a leo, that’s astrology. Notice a pattern? It’s all nonsense.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

98. “This, today, right now, will seem like the good old days in 2 weeks. Things are about to get a hell of a lot worse.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

99. “It’s pretty simple: If we don’t unite behind Biden, Trump wins. Biden may not be everything we want, but Trump is nothing we want.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

100. “Claiming to be offended is a great way to elevate yourself at the expense of others: “Look at me! I’m a much better person than you! And I judge you! I condemn you! Shame! Shame! SHAME!” These social media shamings bear an uncanny resemblance to medieval witch hunts.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy