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Top 160 Oliver Markus Malloy Quotes (2026 Update)
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Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “The fictitious men in romance novels are as fake and imaginary as vampires. They’re not real.”

151. “The fictitious men in romance novels are as fake and imaginary as vampires. They’re not real.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “Mike Pence, the most anti-science religious fundamentalist in Washington, is now in charge of America’s biggest science project ever: finding a cure for the coronavirus. I think we all better start praying.”

152. “Mike Pence, the most anti-science religious fundamentalist in Washington, is now in charge of America’s biggest science project ever: finding a cure for the coronavirus. I think we all better start praying.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “Wanna sound smart and witty? Then quote smart and witty people.”

153. “Wanna sound smart and witty? Then quote smart and witty people.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “The Covid-19 pandemic is going to be much worse than Pearl Harbor. It’s going to be nationwide, in every city in every state. And it’s going to last for months, not hours. It’s going to be an elephant compared to an ant.”

154. “The Covid-19 pandemic is going to be much worse than Pearl Harbor. It’s going to be nationwide, in every city in every state. And it’s going to last for months, not hours. It’s going to be an elephant compared to an ant.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “Yo mama so slutty, Trump still owes her hush money.”

155. “Yo mama so slutty, Trump still owes her hush money.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “Right wing extremists think the whole world is a leftist conspiracy.”

156. “Right wing extremists think the whole world is a leftist conspiracy.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “Nowadays words like “Liberal” and “Muslim” are used by right-wing extremists in the same way as the word “Jew” was used by the right-wing extremists of Nazi Germany.”

157. “Nowadays words like “Liberal” and “Muslim” are used by right-wing extremists in the same way as the word “Jew” was used by the right-wing extremists of Nazi Germany.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “What I admire most about Republicans is that they never run out of lies.”

158. “What I admire most about Republicans is that they never run out of lies.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “WTF is praying gonna do for Vegas? Apparently God likes mass shootings.”

159. “WTF is praying gonna do for Vegas? Apparently God likes mass shootings.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “Claiming to be offended is a great way to elevate yourself at the expense of others: “Look at me! I’m a much better person than you! And I judge you! I condemn you! Shame! Shame! SHAME!” These social media shamings bear an uncanny resemblance to medieval witch hunts.”

160. “Claiming to be offended is a great way to elevate yourself at the expense of others: “Look at me! I’m a much better person than you! And I judge you! I condemn you! Shame! Shame! SHAME!” These social media shamings bear an uncanny resemblance to medieval witch hunts.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “Nationalism among nations is like racism among races.”

161. “Nationalism among nations is like racism among races.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “The Wall is nothing more than a talking point Trump uses to trigger his racist and xenophobic base. MAGA minions have been brainwashed by Nazi propaganda techniques to see foreigners as evil monsters who want to exterminate white America, and Trump as their protector who was sent by God.”

162. “The Wall is nothing more than a talking point Trump uses to trigger his racist and xenophobic base. MAGA minions have been brainwashed by Nazi propaganda techniques to see foreigners as evil monsters who want to exterminate white America, and Trump as their protector who was sent by God.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “Bush warned us about pandemics in 2005. I used to think he was the dumbest, most incompetent president ever. But compared to Trump, Bush looks like Einstein.”

163. “Bush warned us about pandemics in 2005. I used to think he was the dumbest, most incompetent president ever. But compared to Trump, Bush looks like Einstein.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “When we’re really old, people in the future will interview us, because we lived through one of the biggest events in human history. Like the Spanish flu of 1918 that killed over 50 million people. Or the great depression. Or Pompeii. Or the Titanic.”

164. “When we’re really old, people in the future will interview us, because we lived through one of the biggest events in human history. Like the Spanish flu of 1918 that killed over 50 million people. Or the great depression. Or Pompeii. Or the Titanic.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “I can’t do everything I want, but I can put a smile on my dog’s face. Making him happy makes me happy.”

165. “I can’t do everything I want, but I can put a smile on my dog’s face. Making him happy makes me happy.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “Conformists are boring. Artists are interesting. That’s the difference between a wannabe writer and a real writer.”

166. “Conformists are boring. Artists are interesting. That’s the difference between a wannabe writer and a real writer.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “Did you ever think one day you’d live through a global pandemic, with a doomsday virus, and the Joker is president? Sounds like a bad made-for-TV scifi movie.”

167. “Did you ever think one day you’d live through a global pandemic, with a doomsday virus, and the Joker is president? Sounds like a bad made-for-TV scifi movie.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “John Oliver, Trevor Noah, Stephen Colbert, Bill Maher and I have the same sense of humor. They’re just better at it than I am.”

168. “John Oliver, Trevor Noah, Stephen Colbert, Bill Maher and I have the same sense of humor. They’re just better at it than I am.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “If you’ve never had actual freedom, you don’t miss it. You can’t miss what you’ve never had.”

169. “If you’ve never had actual freedom, you don’t miss it. You can’t miss what you’ve never had.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “Trump voters hate my books. They can’t stand it when a book makes them think.”

170. “Trump voters hate my books. They can’t stand it when a book makes them think.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “Why ban guns? Let’s give everyone rocket launchers! What could possibly go wrong?”

171. “Why ban guns? Let’s give everyone rocket launchers! What could possibly go wrong?”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “America is like an isolated information island. A lot of what happens in the rest of the world, a lot of the cultural exchange, never makes it to rural Alabama.”

172. “America is like an isolated information island. A lot of what happens in the rest of the world, a lot of the cultural exchange, never makes it to rural Alabama.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “When historians in the future ask a really old version of me about this pandemic, I’m gonna tell them that Trump’s MAGA minions were the only ones who had no idea what was happening, while the rest of America stared into the abyss.”

173. “When historians in the future ask a really old version of me about this pandemic, I’m gonna tell them that Trump’s MAGA minions were the only ones who had no idea what was happening, while the rest of America stared into the abyss.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “Introverts think about more than just being introverts.”

174. “Introverts think about more than just being introverts.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “Democrats care about what’s fair and true. Republicans only care about winning, no matter how much they have to lie and cheat.”

175. “Democrats care about what’s fair and true. Republicans only care about winning, no matter how much they have to lie and cheat.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

Oliver Markus Malloy Quote: “If Jesus came back today, Republicans would stop him at the border.”

176. “If Jesus came back today, Republicans would stop him at the border.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy

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