Top 160 Sarah Silverman Quotes (2026 Update)
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51. “Look at the people who are kind of the funniest cultures, they’re the cultures of the people who have been the most oppressed, black people and Jews. Not that they’re the only funny people, but culturally, it comes from the pain, you know?”

— Sarah Silverman

52. “I don’t compromise. I only do the stuff I want to do.”

— Sarah Silverman

53. “A bull in just about any shop is gonna be a mess.”

— Sarah Silverman

54. “Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn’t. It focuses on facts.”

— Sarah Silverman

55. “I didn’t feel so different until maybe, like, around third grade. Kids started blaming me for my people killing Jesus.”

— Sarah Silverman

56. “Jews are the most liberal, scrappy, civil-rightsy people there are.”

— Sarah Silverman

57. “I do love the idea of ritual.”

— Sarah Silverman

58. “People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am – I’m white!”

— Sarah Silverman

59. “Being with friends felt like a burden. I remember just sobbing.”

— Sarah Silverman

60. “I was sent to sleepover camp since I was 6, and you know, it’s a recipe for disaster.”

— Sarah Silverman

61. “All comics want to be musicians. There’s a part of me that wants to be a serious musician. I love songs about heartache and heartbreak.”

— Sarah Silverman

62. “I grew up in a house where there were no taboos, so it came originally from a pretty innocent place, where I was shocked at the things that shocked people.”

— Sarah Silverman

63. “I never want to be in a position where I have to defend my material. It’s too subjective. It’s for other people to defend or not defend.”

— Sarah Silverman

64. “I think Jews tend to hold me in fairly high regard.”

— Sarah Silverman

65. “I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core.”

— Sarah Silverman

66. “I am diagnosed with not having enough insanely-addictive drugs coursing through my body.”

— Sarah Silverman

67. “When you’re a comic, it’s like being born gay. It’s what you want to do every night when your other friends are out at night going to parties.”

— Sarah Silverman

68. “I don’t like people whose job it isn’t to be funny, to tell me what is and isn’t funny.”

— Sarah Silverman

69. “I just don’t let that mentality be a part of my world.”

— Sarah Silverman

70. “I think fake boobs have done great things for real boobs. I think people finally appreciate real boobs. People like real boobs. I do. I also enjoy the fact that they are life-nourishers.”

— Sarah Silverman

71. “I didn’t lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls “the real way”.”

— Sarah Silverman

72. “I’ll be back. I’ll be black. I’ll be white black.”

— Sarah Silverman

73. “I don’t care if you think I’m racist. I just want you to think I’m thin.”

— Sarah Silverman

74. “I can’t wait till Sunday, I’m gonna see my favorite niece and my other niece...”

— Sarah Silverman

75. “When you’re a bed wetter there’s only one group of people you can feel better than, bed shitters, and unfortunately they’re hard to come by.”

— Sarah Silverman

76. “I do love poop. I can’t help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing’s going to get me like dumb stuff.”

— Sarah Silverman

77. “I would pretend that I was in a glass box – that I was in this glass container that no one could see, and it protected me. At night I would open the door and get out of the box to go to bed. In the morning, I stepped into it and closed the latch. I dreamed that I would somehow be transported – that all this sadness and fear would actually fuel this glass box and carry me home.”

— Sarah Silverman

78. “I don’t believe in Jesus or God. But I do believe that fundamentalists in religion or anything else are bad, and that they have more hate than love.”

— Sarah Silverman

79. “I love going to weddings. And I love it when my friends get married. I’m not against marriage but it’s just not for me. I’m a vegetarian, but I don’t have a problem if you want a hamburger.”

— Sarah Silverman

80. “People say I’m a nice girl saying terrible things. I tend to say the opposite of what I think. You hope that the absolute power of that transcends, and reaches the audience.”

— Sarah Silverman

81. “When I came out to L. A., I got a part in an episode of ‘Star Trek: Voyager,’ and I hired an acting coach.”

— Sarah Silverman

82. “I like to think of myself as ‘hot-larious’ I’m cute, but I’m totally approachable.”

— Sarah Silverman

83. “Summer camp: the second worst camp for Jews.”

— Sarah Silverman

84. “I’m so glad Courtney Love is here; I left my crack in my other purse.”

— Sarah Silverman

85. “It’s not cold in here, you’re just dying.”

— Sarah Silverman

86. “The good news is hopeful doesn’t mean dumb. The bad news is cynical doesn’t mean smart.”

— Sarah Silverman

87. “Some things are just for private. It’s like people thinking I’m cold or this or that. It’s unfortunate, but I don’t need strangers to know that I’m warm. I don’t need strangers to know the real me.”

— Sarah Silverman

88. “Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it. That said, critiquing women’s human shells isn’t my thang. Though there’s probably something funny or interesting to be said about those who do it, and what that comes from.”

— Sarah Silverman

89. “I was a bedwetter until I was about 15, and it was humiliating.”

— Sarah Silverman

90. “Jesus is magic, because he turned water into wine. I think he made the statue of liberty disappear in the 80s or something.”

— Sarah Silverman

91. “We deserve quality lives with equality.”

— Sarah Silverman

92. “I gave him a compliment! All right, I told him he probably would’ve made, like, a really expensive slave in the, like, in the olden-timey days.”

— Sarah Silverman

93. “I talk to friends who get their feelings hurt when they read Twitter mentions. I have an amazing solution – don’t read Twitter mentions.”

— Sarah Silverman

94. “I feel so confident and awesome and sexy when I’m with people who are older than me, and I’ve always been surrounded by people who are older than me. But to be vital in comedy, you have to exist in a world that’s dominated by young people.”

— Sarah Silverman

95. “Anything television trivia I’m good at. But when you’re on your couch, you’re really good at it, but when you’re standing there, it’s probably scary.”

— Sarah Silverman

96. “I learned pretty early is I never defend my material; it’s for other people to if someone is offended. It’s so subjective, and if you don’t find it funny, it’s definitely going to be offensive.”

— Sarah Silverman

97. “I’m very lucky in that I still experience highs and lows and I think those lows are important, but I am not totally paralyzed and it keeps me from just complete state of paralysis emotionally and almost physically.”

— Sarah Silverman

98. “I remember my first standup act when I was seventeen; I did a really lame song about being flat chested. I was doing it in New York, and I remember Kevin Brennan, the guy I lost my virginity to, was like “That song doesn’t make sense, you have tits.””

— Sarah Silverman

99. “I can’t cater to everyone’s needs and what they’re going to be offended by; that’s one freedom I have.”

— Sarah Silverman

100. “The worst thing that can happen for people who don’t want women to be strong is that we help each other and become a force.”

— Sarah Silverman