Top 160 Sarah Silverman Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “I like my life alone.”

— Sarah Silverman

2. “If you take a shower with your boyfriend, I guarantee by the time you step out of that shower, your breasts will be sparkling clean.”

— Sarah Silverman

3. “I am 39 years old, and I still wake up every morning really excited I don’t have to go to school.”

— Sarah Silverman

4. “We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn’t.”

— Sarah Silverman

5. “If you quit being cunty, the whole world will stop being against you.”

— Sarah Silverman

6. “We don’t live in a democracy; we live in a hypocrisy.”

— Sarah Silverman

7. “Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it.”

— Sarah Silverman

8. “In the big picture, life has a gap in it. It just does. You don’t go crazy trying to fill it.”

— Sarah Silverman

9. “And we’re just all made of molecules and we’re hurtling through space right now.”

— Sarah Silverman

10. “As soon as a women gets to an age where she has opinions and she’s vital and she’s strong, she’s systematically shamed into hiding under a rock.”

— Sarah Silverman

11. “I can only speak from my own experience, and I would say that the depression I experienced feels like a chemical change. When it came over me, when it comes over me, it feels like it’s coming over me like a flu.”

— Sarah Silverman

12. “I think the difference between being miserable and finding happiness is just a matter of perspective. If you live your life defining yourself by what other people think of you, it’s a form of self-torture.”

— Sarah Silverman

13. “Guess what, Martin Luther King? I had a dream, too.”

— Sarah Silverman

14. “I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I’d do it again in a second.”

— Sarah Silverman

15. “You can be Hitler and go to confession and say forgive me, Father, I killed six million Jews, and the priest would just be like no problem. Say 10 Heil Marys. And Hitler goes to heaven.”

— Sarah Silverman

16. “Scientology is weird because it’s new.”

— Sarah Silverman

17. “If my Catholic boyfriend and I ever have a kid, we’ll just be honest with it. We’ll say that Mommy is one of God’s chosen people, and Daddy believes that Jesus is magic!”

— Sarah Silverman

18. “I do know that I can take a punch. I’ve been punched in the face three times. That’s, I think, a really important thing to know about yourself. It helps you in life. It helps you be brave when you know you can take a punch. I’m a lover, not a fighter. But, God bless me, I can take a punch.”

— Sarah Silverman

19. “I’m Jewish, but I’m totally not.”

— Sarah Silverman

20. “When God gives you AIDS – and God does give you AIDS, by the way – make lemonAIDS.”

— Sarah Silverman

21. “Take lots of time for yourself, discovering yourself-pursue not only a profession but other life passions, I always make time to rock climb or hike or write a few short stories. Also, find good people and surround yourself with them. Most importantly, always believe you will, unequivocally.”

— Sarah Silverman

22. “If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon.”

— Sarah Silverman

23. “I will always try to be happy. I don’t think people really understand the value of happiness until they know what it’s like to be in that very, very dark place. It’s not romantic. Not even a little.”

— Sarah Silverman

24. “I really think everything is fair game.”

— Sarah Silverman

25. “That still feels like the most accurate description – I felt homesick, but I was home.”

— Sarah Silverman

26. “This is AIDS. AIDS is as real as an egg.”

— Sarah Silverman

27. “I’m a total one-hour drama addict. I think when you’re a comedian, you tend towards dramas because that’s the less stressful thing to watch.”

— Sarah Silverman

28. “I don’t think comedy comes from hotbeds of doing shtick. I think it usually comes from some kind of childhood humiliation or darkness.”

— Sarah Silverman

29. “I am Jewish and proud of this culturally and ethnically – the ways in which I was born this way and am happy with whom I am.”

— Sarah Silverman

30. “People who follow their religion to the letter of the law are just silly. I mean, I want to tell Hasidic Jews I promise you, God will not mind if you wear a nice cotton blend in the summer.”

— Sarah Silverman

31. “Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I’m one of the few people who believes it was the blacks.”

— Sarah Silverman

32. “If I have kids, I’ll adopt.”

— Sarah Silverman

33. “I’ve always kept my overhead low so I could do whatever I want. I think of myself as lazy with spurts of getting a lot done. I find myself rooting against things sometimes because I get excited at the thought of a clean slate.”

— Sarah Silverman

34. “I have no religion. But culturally I can’t escape it; I’m very Jewish.”

— Sarah Silverman

35. “I was paralyzed with fear. It was unbearable to be among other kids who were just standing around being fine. It was one of the many inconveniences of this paradox I lived with -the more people I was surrounded by, the more frighteningly alone I felt.”

— Sarah Silverman

36. “If you decide to do comedy that involves risk, risk means risk, and you can’t complain of flesh wounds if you sit down at the table to play.”

— Sarah Silverman

37. “As soon as a woman is old enough to have an opinion and have a voice and be unafraid, she’s very much encouraged by all sorts of people to crawl under a rock and die. And it’s so weird. My crime is not dying.”

— Sarah Silverman

38. “But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it’s funny enough.”

— Sarah Silverman

39. “I just look like a transvestite when I try to dress up. There’s no place to hide my balls.”

— Sarah Silverman

40. “I don’t compromise. I only do the stuff I want to do.”

— Sarah Silverman

41. “Look at the people who are kind of the funniest cultures, they’re the cultures of the people who have been the most oppressed, black people and Jews. Not that they’re the only funny people, but culturally, it comes from the pain, you know?”

— Sarah Silverman

42. “Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn’t. It focuses on facts.”

— Sarah Silverman

43. “I didn’t feel so different until maybe, like, around third grade. Kids started blaming me for my people killing Jesus.”

— Sarah Silverman

44. “A bull in just about any shop is gonna be a mess.”

— Sarah Silverman

45. “I do love the idea of ritual.”

— Sarah Silverman

46. “People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am – I’m white!”

— Sarah Silverman

47. “Jews are the most liberal, scrappy, civil-rightsy people there are.”

— Sarah Silverman

48. “All comics want to be musicians. There’s a part of me that wants to be a serious musician. I love songs about heartache and heartbreak.”

— Sarah Silverman

49. “I never want to be in a position where I have to defend my material. It’s too subjective. It’s for other people to defend or not defend.”

— Sarah Silverman

50. “I grew up in a house where there were no taboos, so it came originally from a pretty innocent place, where I was shocked at the things that shocked people.”

— Sarah Silverman