Top 160 Sarah Silverman Quotes (2024 Update)
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101. “Unvisited tombstones, unread diaries, and erased video game high-score rankings are three of the most potent symbols of mankind’s pathetic and fruitless attempts at immortality.”

— Sarah Silverman

102. “I always look at myself knowing that I will have a certain degree of cognitive distortion.”

— Sarah Silverman

103. “I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It’s funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I’m not religious at all. I have no religion.”

— Sarah Silverman

104. “I tend to be more arrogant on stage. Far more ignorant. I sometimes say what I think and sometimes say the opposite of what I think and the lines get blurred, but I can only hope that some kind of absolute power transcends.”

— Sarah Silverman

105. “I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.”

— Sarah Silverman

106. “The thing about depression is that, if you’re not the one who’s actually suffering from it, there’s very little you can do to be proactive. If someone in your family is depressed, all you can really do is send them to the shrink, get them their meds, be gentle, and wait.”

— Sarah Silverman

107. “I love making videos on my couch. You can put those on the Internet fast. I can express myself.”

— Sarah Silverman

108. “Comics who grew up surviving their childhood by being able to be the first one to make the joke about their weight or their hairy arms – like me – whatever they’re insecure about, whatever they’re apologizing for, that becomes their strength.”

— Sarah Silverman

109. “I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games.”

— Sarah Silverman

110. “I’m doing stuff on Kaballah and Scientology and a little bit more racial stuff, for good measure.”

— Sarah Silverman

111. “Traditionally, I have no right to talk about race. I’m white; I didn’t grow up in an all-black neighborhood. But the license I see for myself is I’m a member of the world.”

— Sarah Silverman

112. “Growing up, I always loved Disney movies, but the first movie I remember seeing is ‘Sleepers,’ so I wasn’t really taken to children’s movies.”

— Sarah Silverman

113. “Sometimes loving each other isn’t enough. You have to be responsible for your own happiness. You can’t stay in a relationship because you’re afraid of the unknown.”

— Sarah Silverman

114. “My dad was a bedwetter; I think his dad was a bedwetter. I like to talk about it because it’s something that I thought would be my deepest, darkest secret my whole life, and then you become an adult, and it’s not.”

— Sarah Silverman

115. “Jews, black people – any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people – use humour. It is a survival skill.”

— Sarah Silverman

116. “You have to be able to laugh at yourself. That’s what I tell Asian people all the time.”

— Sarah Silverman

117. “I commend you on all you’ve done for PETA, wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing it back to health.”

— Sarah Silverman

118. “You want to make people laugh and by virtue of that please them, but when you’re instructed to make people laugh and please them, you’re too resentful to do it.”

— Sarah Silverman

119. “Earlier in my career, I was really tight, really together, and knew who I was and I was confident. I kind of feel in between now.”

— Sarah Silverman

120. “I was Minnie Mouse for Halloween, every year when I was little. Then, I had the Cinderella nightgown, when I was really little, that I begged my mother to wear to school. I was also Snow White a lot.”

— Sarah Silverman

121. “You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage.”

— Sarah Silverman

122. “Everyone’s got their own velocity, and there’s no real time frame with comedy.”

— Sarah Silverman

123. “I can see myself adopting. I’m not in a rush to do it. I’m 39, I know, but I do love kids, and I’m very good – I’ve got a lot of really good moves.”

— Sarah Silverman

124. “I think when you’re 25 you’re still finding yourself, and you should have the freedom of that.”

— Sarah Silverman

125. “Relations between black and white would be greatly improved if we were more accepting of our fears and our feelings and more vocal about it.”

— Sarah Silverman

126. “If I have to write by a certain time, I can pull through, but usually I just let stuff happen, hanging out with comic friends – or bringing a basic idea on stage and seeing if it goes anywhere.”

— Sarah Silverman

127. “People can’t help what topics cut them deep. It all depends on who’s inferring – and what the contexts of their lives are at the time.”

— Sarah Silverman

128. “By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live.”

— Sarah Silverman

129. “The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17.”

— Sarah Silverman

130. “The sun shines directly on this great country, and it can be harvested, it’s not owned by anybody. It’s something the Jews and the Palestinians share and could work together to make the whole world a better place, not just this Middle East stuff, but the whole world.”

— Sarah Silverman

131. “I think maybe I became funny because as a kid, I was a Jew in a town of no Jews, and being funny just instinctively came about as a way to put people at ease around me.”

— Sarah Silverman

132. “I still have highs and lows, maybe I don’t cry salty tears as much.”

— Sarah Silverman

133. “I happen to think that there are already tons of perfectly good babies out there already born.”

— Sarah Silverman

134. “Look, I get it. Loose stools are grosser than solid ones. But the censor is using the context of her own life history with all her hang-ups to answer the question, “Is there a defensible ratio of fiber to water in this stool?”

— Sarah Silverman

135. “Everyone self-Googles. And, I have, of course, the Google alert.”

— Sarah Silverman

136. “My stepfather, John O’Hara, was the goodest man there was. He was not a man of many words, but of carefully chosen ones. He was the one parent who didn’t try to fix me. One night I sat on his lap in his chair by the woodstove, sobbing. He just held me quietly and then asked only, “What does it feel like?” It was the first time I was prompted to articulate it. I thought about it, then said, “I feel homesick.” That still feels like the most accurate description – I felt homesick, but I was home.”

— Sarah Silverman

137. “I think I’ve been called edgy – but in all honesty, there is a safety in what I do because I’m always the idiot. Unless you’re just listening to buzz words and not taking into account the context of the situation, you see I’m always the ignoramus.”

— Sarah Silverman

138. “I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.”

— Sarah Silverman

139. “Making my family laugh when I was little – it became an addiction. It was a kind of survival.”

— Sarah Silverman

140. “Sometimes a joke that doesn’t work just needs a breath or a little word or the tiniest little change to be fixed.”

— Sarah Silverman

141. “If I were somebody else looking at my character, I’d be like, “She’s beautiful.” I’m practicing. I’m not succeeding.”

— Sarah Silverman

142. “I don’t really care for, like, fat jokes about women, specifically.”

— Sarah Silverman

143. “The audience works as such a mob. They either all laugh or all don’t laugh, and, you know, changes from audience to audience.”

— Sarah Silverman

144. “I don’t set out to offend or shock, but I also don’t do anything to avoid it.”

— Sarah Silverman

145. “Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me.”

— Sarah Silverman

146. “When I was three, my dad thought it would be hilarious to teach me swear words, then have me say them to his friends. They would laugh and laugh. I realize now the laugh was pure shock value, but it felt really good, and I’ve been chasing it ever since.”

— Sarah Silverman

147. “I dress normal because I want people to treat me regular. And their brains explode. It’s really fun.”

— Sarah Silverman

148. “Well, I’m not afraid to say something if I think it’s funny, even if it’s harsh or racist.”

— Sarah Silverman

149. “When I was 17, I read a profile of Carol Leifer. Since then, I wanted to be her. I still want to be her.”

— Sarah Silverman

150. “Why would I become involved with something that doesn’t include everyone? If you’re getting married today, it’s the equivalent of joining a country club that doesn’t allow blacks or Jews.”

— Sarah Silverman