Top 160 Steve the Noob Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “Yes, you must be very careful around thieves. They have the swiftest of hands. They can steal your underwear right off you and you wouldn’t even know it.” I gasped. “Those jerks!”

— Steve the Noob

2. “Are you slow because your big fat butt gets in the way? Yeah, I’d be slow too, if I had a butt that big,” I said.”

— Steve the Noob

3. “It took me nearly twenty minutes to get there, because there were so many construction projects along the way.”

— Steve the Noob

4. “I’m gonna head back to the battlefield. Take good care of him, please.” “I will.” With that said, I ran back to my squad. “What’s going on?” I asked Rodriquez as I arrived. “Jake and Isaac are going at it,” the knight replied. In the distance, all I saw were orange blurs jumping and zigzagging everywhere around the elder dragon. “They’re doing it. It’s working.”

— Steve the Noob

5. “I slammed my weapon at her. She narrowly escaped it, but the tremors were now stronger, too. Maili wobbled a bit. I laughed. “What’s wrong, wobbly?” “Shut up, fool!”

— Steve the Noob

6. “Oh, my goodness! It’s such an honor to meet you, Steve. I am a huge, huge fan of your work! You are amazing, truly amazing! I never thought that I would ever meet you, but here we are!” he said as his voice rose even higher.”

— Steve the Noob

7. “Not on my watch,” said Captain Arceus. “Fire at will!” Then Will yelled, “What?! Why?! What did I do?!”

— Steve the Noob

8. “Every time I get a review, good or bad, it just fills me with motivation to keep on writing.”

— Steve the Noob

9. “She does have a big butt!”

— Steve the Noob

10. “It’s fine, I’ll take my lunch break now,” replied the pig handler.”

— Steve the Noob

11. “Uh, no. I got two left feet.”

— Steve the Noob

12. “Better safe than sorry.”

— Steve the Noob

13. “Oh, but you are, darling. I love you, so therefore, you are my love.”

— Steve the Noob

14. “Yes, I need to recover as soon as possible. Please give me lots food.” The mayor laughed. “I see. Okay! I’ll have Bob cook up a storm for you.” Later that night, Bob returned home from work and cooked up some of the most delicious food ever. I had steak with potatoes, rabbit stew, pumpkin pie, and some cake. I’ve never felt so full. The mayor and Emily stayed over.”

— Steve the Noob

15. “But soon, the green meanie approached. He landed right above my hole. BOOM!!! BOOOOOOM!!! “I see you, pancake!” Ahhhhhhhhh! The shock wave is so powerful when I’m right at the center of it. “I keel you!! Har! Har! Har!” Okay, this is totally not going to work. I won’t be able to rest like this, not with him bouncing right above my head.”

— Steve the Noob

16. “There was no toilet and no soft, luxurious double-ply toilet paper for me to use.”

— Steve the Noob

17. “You’ve been given another precious chance at life, so don’t waste it.”

— Steve the Noob

18. “Soon, we became more than friends.”

— Steve the Noob

19. “Her face turned a bright red under her half mask. “What?! You think you’re funny, huh? You think I brought this awesome army to your front lawn to mess around, huh?!”

— Steve the Noob

20. “Alright, you party-poopers. We’ll leave,” said the Sage. “But.”

— Steve the Noob

21. “Wouldn’t you like to know, nature boy?”

— Steve the Noob

22. “Long trips make my butt hurt.”

— Steve the Noob

23. “Then I started moaning and groaning.”

— Steve the Noob

24. “Everyone turned to look at me and started clapping. It was so embarrassing. My hands were all greasy, I had nachos smeared all over my lips and my mouth was filled to the brim with food.”

— Steve the Noob

25. “I woke up a bit late.”

— Steve the Noob

26. “A good rogue must be able to complete the obstacle course within a specific amount of time.”

— Steve the Noob

27. “I’m going to go talk to your manager.”

— Steve the Noob

28. “Because you’re so pro and I’m so no.”

— Steve the Noob

29. “Also, I ask that you get at least a minimum of eight hours of sleep each night.”

— Steve the Noob

30. “Yeah, and check out her butt. It’s, like, ginormous,” said Obsidian. I chuckled. “Wow, you’re right! She does have a big butt!”

— Steve the Noob

31. “I woke up super late because my body was sore all over. I wasn’t sure of the time, but I think it was noon. I had totally forgotten what training with Alex was like. She seriously kicked my butt last night. But on the plus side, I gained a good amount of exp.”

— Steve the Noob

32. “A villager named Avery moved into town and started up a fashion clothing store. She said that fashion was her passion, and that she wanted to brighten up our town with dazzling colors and the latest trends. After moving in and starting up her business, Avery suggested to the mayor that we should put our guard force in uniform, so that we could distinguish them easily from regular villagers. The mayor loved the idea, so he commissioned.”

— Steve the Noob

33. “In times like these, hope is the only thing worth holding on to.”

— Steve the Noob

34. “Huh? Where am I?”

— Steve the Noob

35. “Shredda saw me putting on the equipment and yelled, “Hey, that’s mine! Don’t wear my armor!” HeyThatsMine21 said, “What? I’m not wearing your armor.”

— Steve the Noob

36. “Then in a swift move, she drove the fangs into the disoriented Hawk. AGHHHHHHH!”

— Steve the Noob

37. “Paul nodded. “Okay, thank you, Lukester.”

— Steve the Noob

38. “We’ll have to target an area that’s crawling with those creepy crawlies.”

— Steve the Noob

39. “I snapped out of my daydream of capturing bats and eating high-end restaurant food. “Huh? What? Yeah, I’m okay.” I wiped a small amount of drool from my mouth. “That’s a very generous pay structure, I should be able to find you some tamers easily at those rates.” “That’s great, thank you for your help, my friend. Please direct the tamers here and I’ll brief them.” I nodded. “Okay, I’ll start looking right now. See you later, Owen.”

— Steve the Noob

40. “I do mean it. I don’t want this kind of responsibility anymore.” Then the paladin walked out.”

— Steve the Noob

41. “With this business in place, it might help us become the central trading hub that the mayor dreamed of.”

— Steve the Noob

42. “AHHHH! I hate slimes!” I yelled as I kicked and stomped on the smaller slimes. My horse saw me stomping on the green monsters, so it copied me and started stomping on them, too. “Yeah, get them, horsey!”

— Steve the Noob

43. “Lucky bit on to Bob’s robe and dragged him onward. “Ah! Your pet is trying to run me to death.”

— Steve the Noob

44. “Suddenly, Maili broke the silence and yelled, “Release Red now or pay the consequences!” “Hm? Oh, you’re here for Red? I thought you wanted to buy some cookies or something from our bakery shop,” I said.”

— Steve the Noob

45. “Get in here.” Reluctantly, Steve came inside. Suddenly the huge door closed behind us. Steve let out a girly scream. “Oh, no! We’re trapped!” “Stop panicking. You’re making me look bad!” Then these red glowing eyes appeared out of the darkness and a monstrous voice filled the courtyard. “So, you must be Herobrine, the dummy who wishes to challenge me,” the scary voice said.”

— Steve the Noob

46. “Aaauggh!!! “Rodriquez!” I yelled. “NOOO!!!” My knight friend fell forward to his knees, and a split second later, he poofed right on the spot.”

— Steve the Noob

47. “Once on the ground, I smashed and smashed him, over and over again.”

— Steve the Noob

48. “And those visitors gottaeat somewhere.”

— Steve the Noob

49. “Maybe Team Scorpion won’t see them. Maybe they’ll make it to us safely.”

— Steve the Noob

50. “It doesn’t have to be a lengthy or well written review; it just has to be a few words and then click on the stars. It would take less than 5 minutes.”

— Steve the Noob