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Top 160 Steve the Noob Quotes (2026 Update)

Steve the Noob Quote: “Better safe than sorry.”

1. “Better safe than sorry.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Yes, you must be very careful around thieves. They have the swiftest of hands. They can steal your underwear right off you and you wouldn’t even know it.” I gasped. “Those jerks!”

2. “Yes, you must be very careful around thieves. They have the swiftest of hands. They can steal your underwear right off you and you wouldn’t even know it.” I gasped. “Those jerks!”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Uh, no. I got two left feet.”

3. “Uh, no. I got two left feet.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Are you slow because your big fat butt gets in the way? Yeah, I’d be slow too, if I had a butt that big,” I said.”

4. “Are you slow because your big fat butt gets in the way? Yeah, I’d be slow too, if I had a butt that big,” I said.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “There was no toilet and no soft, luxurious double-ply toilet paper for me to use.”

5. “There was no toilet and no soft, luxurious double-ply toilet paper for me to use.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “It took me nearly twenty minutes to get there, because there were so many construction projects along the way.”

6. “It took me nearly twenty minutes to get there, because there were so many construction projects along the way.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Don’t eat too much candy.”

7. “Don’t eat too much candy.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “RAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!! URRRGGHHHHHHHHHH!!”

8. “RAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!! URRRGGHHHHHHHHHH!!”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Oh, my goodness! It’s such an honor to meet you, Steve. I am a huge, huge fan of your work! You are amazing, truly amazing! I never thought that I would ever meet you, but here we are!” he said as his voice rose even higher.”

9. “Oh, my goodness! It’s such an honor to meet you, Steve. I am a huge, huge fan of your work! You are amazing, truly amazing! I never thought that I would ever meet you, but here we are!” he said as his voice rose even higher.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “I’m gonna head back to the battlefield. Take good care of him, please.” “I will.” With that said, I ran back to my squad. “What’s going on?” I asked Rodriquez as I arrived. “Jake and Isaac are going at it,” the knight replied. In the distance, all I saw were orange blurs jumping and zigzagging everywhere around the elder dragon. “They’re doing it. It’s working.”

10. “I’m gonna head back to the battlefield. Take good care of him, please.” “I will.” With that said, I ran back to my squad. “What’s going on?” I asked Rodriquez as I arrived. “Jake and Isaac are going at it,” the knight replied. In the distance, all I saw were orange blurs jumping and zigzagging everywhere around the elder dragon. “They’re doing it. It’s working.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “I slammed my weapon at her. She narrowly escaped it, but the tremors were now stronger, too. Maili wobbled a bit. I laughed. “What’s wrong, wobbly?” “Shut up, fool!”

11. “I slammed my weapon at her. She narrowly escaped it, but the tremors were now stronger, too. Maili wobbled a bit. I laughed. “What’s wrong, wobbly?” “Shut up, fool!”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Every time I get a review, good or bad, it just fills me with motivation to keep on writing.”

12. “Every time I get a review, good or bad, it just fills me with motivation to keep on writing.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “She does have a big butt!”

13. “She does have a big butt!”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “You’ve been given another precious chance at life, so don’t waste it.”

14. “You’ve been given another precious chance at life, so don’t waste it.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Because you’re so pro and I’m so no.”

15. “Because you’re so pro and I’m so no.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Swoooosh! Whoooosh!”

16. “Swoooosh! Whoooosh!”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “I woke up the next morning sore all over. I could hardly get myself out of bed.”

17. “I woke up the next morning sore all over. I could hardly get myself out of bed.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Come on, you’re a great distraction! All the bosses hate you for some reason!”

18. “Come on, you’re a great distraction! All the bosses hate you for some reason!”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Not on my watch,” said Captain Arceus. “Fire at will!” Then Will yelled, “What?! Why?! What did I do?!”

19. “Not on my watch,” said Captain Arceus. “Fire at will!” Then Will yelled, “What?! Why?! What did I do?!”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “In times like these, hope is the only thing worth holding on to.”

20. “In times like these, hope is the only thing worth holding on to.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Wouldn’t you like to know, nature boy?”

21. “Wouldn’t you like to know, nature boy?”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “It’s fine, I’ll take my lunch break now,” replied the pig handler.”

22. “It’s fine, I’ll take my lunch break now,” replied the pig handler.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Then in a swift move, she drove the fangs into the disoriented Hawk. AGHHHHHHH!”

23. “Then in a swift move, she drove the fangs into the disoriented Hawk. AGHHHHHHH!”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Yes, I need to recover as soon as possible. Please give me lots food.” The mayor laughed. “I see. Okay! I’ll have Bob cook up a storm for you.” Later that night, Bob returned home from work and cooked up some of the most delicious food ever. I had steak with potatoes, rabbit stew, pumpkin pie, and some cake. I’ve never felt so full. The mayor and Emily stayed over.”

24. “Yes, I need to recover as soon as possible. Please give me lots food.” The mayor laughed. “I see. Okay! I’ll have Bob cook up a storm for you.” Later that night, Bob returned home from work and cooked up some of the most delicious food ever. I had steak with potatoes, rabbit stew, pumpkin pie, and some cake. I’ve never felt so full. The mayor and Emily stayed over.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Soon, we became more than friends.”

25. “Soon, we became more than friends.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Her face turned a bright red under her half mask. “What?! You think you’re funny, huh? You think I brought this awesome army to your front lawn to mess around, huh?!”

26. “Her face turned a bright red under her half mask. “What?! You think you’re funny, huh? You think I brought this awesome army to your front lawn to mess around, huh?!”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “A good rogue must be able to complete the obstacle course within a specific amount of time.”

27. “A good rogue must be able to complete the obstacle course within a specific amount of time.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Oh, but you are, darling. I love you, so therefore, you are my love.”

28. “Oh, but you are, darling. I love you, so therefore, you are my love.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Alright, you party-poopers. We’ll leave,” said the Sage. “But.”

29. “Alright, you party-poopers. We’ll leave,” said the Sage. “But.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “It’s hard to penetrate.”

30. “It’s hard to penetrate.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “I woke up a bit late.”

31. “I woke up a bit late.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Yeah! Of course, I’m mad at you, Steve! You ate my share of the cookies!”

32. “Yeah! Of course, I’m mad at you, Steve! You ate my share of the cookies!”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Pffft! I ain’t scared of no zombie. Bring it on! I don’t care if you got a deep, scary voice.” MWAHAHAHAHA! The scary laughter echoed throughout the place. Then a huge shiny figure emerged from the shadows. It was the zombie commander! Steve screamed and fainted. I don’t know if he was pretending to play dead, but he looked pretty lifeless. I nudged him a few times with my foot, but he didn’t move.”

33. “Pffft! I ain’t scared of no zombie. Bring it on! I don’t care if you got a deep, scary voice.” MWAHAHAHAHA! The scary laughter echoed throughout the place. Then a huge shiny figure emerged from the shadows. It was the zombie commander! Steve screamed and fainted. I don’t know if he was pretending to play dead, but he looked pretty lifeless. I nudged him a few times with my foot, but he didn’t move.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “I rolled out of bed and fell straight to the floor. OW! I shouldn’t have done that, but I didn’t know my legs weren’t working.”

34. “I rolled out of bed and fell straight to the floor. OW! I shouldn’t have done that, but I didn’t know my legs weren’t working.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “It turned out I got food poisoning from consuming raw chicken. I had to go poo like every 20 minutes. Oh, my goodness, it was a terrible ordeal.”

35. “It turned out I got food poisoning from consuming raw chicken. I had to go poo like every 20 minutes. Oh, my goodness, it was a terrible ordeal.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “This power! I never want to lose it!” yelled Isaac. “Come on, guys! It’s time to use it!” said Devlin.”

36. “This power! I never want to lose it!” yelled Isaac. “Come on, guys! It’s time to use it!” said Devlin.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Dante rolled his eyes.”

37. “Dante rolled his eyes.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “It was so creamy.”

38. “It was so creamy.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “But soon, the green meanie approached. He landed right above my hole. BOOM!!! BOOOOOOM!!! “I see you, pancake!” Ahhhhhhhhh! The shock wave is so powerful when I’m right at the center of it. “I keel you!! Har! Har! Har!” Okay, this is totally not going to work. I won’t be able to rest like this, not with him bouncing right above my head.”

39. “But soon, the green meanie approached. He landed right above my hole. BOOM!!! BOOOOOOM!!! “I see you, pancake!” Ahhhhhhhhh! The shock wave is so powerful when I’m right at the center of it. “I keel you!! Har! Har! Har!” Okay, this is totally not going to work. I won’t be able to rest like this, not with him bouncing right above my head.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Once on the ground, I smashed and smashed him, over and over again.”

40. “Once on the ground, I smashed and smashed him, over and over again.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Lucky woke me up the next morning with his super wet tongue. “Bleh! Wolf morning breath!”

41. “Lucky woke me up the next morning with his super wet tongue. “Bleh! Wolf morning breath!”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Judging from your protruding belly, I’d say you definitely need some exercise.”

42. “Judging from your protruding belly, I’d say you definitely need some exercise.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

43. “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “The necromancer chuckled. “Why would you think I would let a former enemy into my base? And especially when he would be accompanied by his friend, the Uptight Knight?” “Hey, I’m not a knight anymore! I’m a paladin!” retorted Devlin. “Oooh, alright, Mr. Uptight Paladin. Hm, that doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.”

44. “The necromancer chuckled. “Why would you think I would let a former enemy into my base? And especially when he would be accompanied by his friend, the Uptight Knight?” “Hey, I’m not a knight anymore! I’m a paladin!” retorted Devlin. “Oooh, alright, Mr. Uptight Paladin. Hm, that doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Then I started moaning and groaning.”

45. “Then I started moaning and groaning.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Paul nodded. “Okay, thank you, Lukester.”

46. “Paul nodded. “Okay, thank you, Lukester.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Our rogues engaged the enemy rogues and thieves. Our guards got some breathing room as Team.”

47. “Our rogues engaged the enemy rogues and thieves. Our guards got some breathing room as Team.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “You get two birds with one stone.”

48. “You get two birds with one stone.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “Yeah, that tends to happen when you spend every waking moment for the past ten days in there,” said Emily.”

49. “Yeah, that tends to happen when you spend every waking moment for the past ten days in there,” said Emily.”

— Steve the Noob

Steve the Noob Quote: “We lost Elizabeth, Autumn, Chan, Adrian, Jackson, Ivy, Barry and Ivan.”

50. “We lost Elizabeth, Autumn, Chan, Adrian, Jackson, Ivy, Barry and Ivan.”

— Steve the Noob

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