Top 160 Steve the Noob Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “Yes, you must be very careful around thieves. They have the swiftest of hands. They can steal your underwear right off you and you wouldn’t even know it.” I gasped. “Those jerks!”

— Steve the Noob

2. “Are you slow because your big fat butt gets in the way? Yeah, I’d be slow too, if I had a butt that big,” I said.”

— Steve the Noob

3. “It took me nearly twenty minutes to get there, because there were so many construction projects along the way.”

— Steve the Noob

4. “Oh, my goodness! It’s such an honor to meet you, Steve. I am a huge, huge fan of your work! You are amazing, truly amazing! I never thought that I would ever meet you, but here we are!” he said as his voice rose even higher.”

— Steve the Noob

5. “I’m gonna head back to the battlefield. Take good care of him, please.” “I will.” With that said, I ran back to my squad. “What’s going on?” I asked Rodriquez as I arrived. “Jake and Isaac are going at it,” the knight replied. In the distance, all I saw were orange blurs jumping and zigzagging everywhere around the elder dragon. “They’re doing it. It’s working.”

— Steve the Noob

6. “I slammed my weapon at her. She narrowly escaped it, but the tremors were now stronger, too. Maili wobbled a bit. I laughed. “What’s wrong, wobbly?” “Shut up, fool!”

— Steve the Noob

7. “Every time I get a review, good or bad, it just fills me with motivation to keep on writing.”

— Steve the Noob

8. “Better safe than sorry.”

— Steve the Noob

9. “Not on my watch,” said Captain Arceus. “Fire at will!” Then Will yelled, “What?! Why?! What did I do?!”

— Steve the Noob

10. “She does have a big butt!”

— Steve the Noob

11. “Because you’re so pro and I’m so no.”

— Steve the Noob

12. “You’ve been given another precious chance at life, so don’t waste it.”

— Steve the Noob

13. “It’s fine, I’ll take my lunch break now,” replied the pig handler.”

— Steve the Noob

14. “Alright, you party-poopers. We’ll leave,” said the Sage. “But.”

— Steve the Noob

15. “Uh, no. I got two left feet.”

— Steve the Noob

16. “Yes, I need to recover as soon as possible. Please give me lots food.” The mayor laughed. “I see. Okay! I’ll have Bob cook up a storm for you.” Later that night, Bob returned home from work and cooked up some of the most delicious food ever. I had steak with potatoes, rabbit stew, pumpkin pie, and some cake. I’ve never felt so full. The mayor and Emily stayed over.”

— Steve the Noob

17. “A good rogue must be able to complete the obstacle course within a specific amount of time.”

— Steve the Noob

18. “In times like these, hope is the only thing worth holding on to.”

— Steve the Noob

19. “Oh, but you are, darling. I love you, so therefore, you are my love.”

— Steve the Noob

20. “Soon, we became more than friends.”

— Steve the Noob

21. “Her face turned a bright red under her half mask. “What?! You think you’re funny, huh? You think I brought this awesome army to your front lawn to mess around, huh?!”

— Steve the Noob

22. “Wouldn’t you like to know, nature boy?”

— Steve the Noob

23. “Then I started moaning and groaning.”

— Steve the Noob

24. “I woke up the next morning sore all over. I could hardly get myself out of bed.”

— Steve the Noob

25. “I woke up a bit late.”

— Steve the Noob

26. “I’m going to go talk to your manager.”

— Steve the Noob

27. “Also, I ask that you get at least a minimum of eight hours of sleep each night.”

— Steve the Noob

28. “Are you saying I’m old?!”

— Steve the Noob

29. “Yeah, and check out her butt. It’s, like, ginormous,” said Obsidian. I chuckled. “Wow, you’re right! She does have a big butt!”

— Steve the Noob

30. “We’ll have to target an area that’s crawling with those creepy crawlies.”

— Steve the Noob

31. “But soon, the green meanie approached. He landed right above my hole. BOOM!!! BOOOOOOM!!! “I see you, pancake!” Ahhhhhhhhh! The shock wave is so powerful when I’m right at the center of it. “I keel you!! Har! Har! Har!” Okay, this is totally not going to work. I won’t be able to rest like this, not with him bouncing right above my head.”

— Steve the Noob

32. “There was no toilet and no soft, luxurious double-ply toilet paper for me to use.”

— Steve the Noob

33. “Long trips make my butt hurt.”

— Steve the Noob

34. “Lucky woke me up the next morning with his super wet tongue. “Bleh! Wolf morning breath!”

— Steve the Noob

35. “Don’t worry, we got it,” Cole replied. “Come on, have I ever let you down before?” With a blank expression, I looked straight into Cole’s eyes. “Hm, don’t answer that,” he said.”

— Steve the Noob

36. “It was so creamy.”

— Steve the Noob

37. “Everyone turned to look at me and started clapping. It was so embarrassing. My hands were all greasy, I had nachos smeared all over my lips and my mouth was filled to the brim with food.”

— Steve the Noob

38. “I was on the ground trying to recover myself, when out of nowhere, an arrow strikes me in the butt.”

— Steve the Noob

39. “Harper. You’re still recovering anyway,” said Hayden. “So, which one of us should go, eh?” asked Calvin. “I’ll go,” said Hayden. “You need to stay behind and take care of our division in Captain Arceus’s absence.” Calvin nodded.”

— Steve the Noob

40. “But don’t try to escape; my guards will be watching you.”

— Steve the Noob

41. “Yeah! Of course, I’m mad at you, Steve! You ate my share of the cookies!”

— Steve the Noob

42. “We continued to explore the Nether a bit more.”

— Steve the Noob

43. “Our town has so many cool attractions now, I thought. A bright and amazing beacon, a horse stable, a pizza restaurant, a mining operation that should be generating lots of different ores soon, a sturdy protective wall with a trench, high towers and soon to be outposts, and finally, a strong guard force that is ready to protect the town at a moment’s notice.”

— Steve the Noob

44. “What are these things made of?!” I yelled. “It’s just swimming in the lava, having a grand o’ time!”

— Steve the Noob

45. “To my surprise, his head flew right off! It was as if his head was made of cardboard. Everyone screamed! Holy Moly! I guess I don’t know my own strength. I had accidentally killed the village chief. After that, everyone just ran away from me.”

— Steve the Noob

46. “It tastes even more delicious. Come on, let’s get in line,” said Dante.”

— Steve the Noob

47. “Emily disappeared behind some bookshelves. She emerged a few minutes later.”

— Steve the Noob

48. “My name is Wrecktor, and I’ll be your ender.”

— Steve the Noob

49. “That’s a lot of books.”

— Steve the Noob

50. “You get two birds with one stone.”

— Steve the Noob