Top 300 T. Kingfisher Quotes (2026 Update)
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101. “They say you can’t go home again, but of course you can. It’s just that when you get there, somebody may have repainted and changed the fixtures around.”

— T. Kingfisher

102. “Civettes were not known for their empathy. Tab hooked his claws into her trousers and climbed up, demanding petting, unconcerned that his human was making strange face noises. Humans always made strange face noises; a weasel learned to deal with it.”

— T. Kingfisher

103. “I had always had mixed feelings about Narnia, mostly because of the heavy-handed lion-Jesus allegory. I suddenly had very strong feelings that C. S. Lewis had not spent nearly enough time on te sudden realization, when moving between worlds, that nothing could be taken for granted. Maybe fog hung around all day here, even when the sky was bright. Maybe there was no night, or maybe this was what night looked like. Maybe gravity stopped working here on Tusdays.”

— T. Kingfisher

104. “Someone seemed to be drinking Caliban’s beer at a shocking rate. He wasn’t sure why, since it did not improve at all upon repeated exposure.”

— T. Kingfisher

105. “Rhea followed, because when your future husband is a mad sorcerer, following a hedgehog sometimes seems like a good option.”

— T. Kingfisher

106. “You cannot help people who do not want help,” rumbled Fenris. “You can’t force someone to do what you think is best for them.” He paused, then added, somewhat reluctantly, “Well, you can. But they don’t appreciate it and most of the time it turns out that you were wrong.” “But – ” “We can only save people who want to be saved,” said the dust-wife. “If it’s still bothering you, we’ll come back afterward, assuming any of us are alive to do so.”

— T. Kingfisher

107. “Glorious cocked an ear back at her. ‘Things act according to their natures,’ he said. ‘But sometimes our natures are complicated.”

— T. Kingfisher

108. “I bet real pirates don’t worry about lint. They worry about other things, like privateers and scurvy.”

— T. Kingfisher

109. “Other people’s horrible relatives are remarkably soothing. You can be comfortably appalled without having to deal with them yourself.”

— T. Kingfisher

110. “If there’s a way into hell, someone will always find it.”

— T. Kingfisher

111. “Everybody yells at Orpheus and Lot’s wife. Put yourself in their shoes for five minutes and you’d yell a lot less, I promise you.”

— T. Kingfisher

112. “Mom is tough. It’s easy to think that sweet people are weak, but if you look at all the stuff mom’s lived through; she’s nearly indestructable.”

— T. Kingfisher

113. “Look, if you can’t laugh about the homicidal fits that make you a menace to society, what’s even the point?”

— T. Kingfisher

114. “Roses have thorns. That’s the price of roses. When you start to forget that, that’s when things go wrong.”

— T. Kingfisher

115. “The old woman snorted. “Knives aren’t magic, girl. All they are is sharp. Cut or don’t, but don’t dither over it. It only makes it worse for both of you.” Janna.”

— T. Kingfisher

116. “That should do it. Tell me if you get the urge to take a bite out of someone, though.” “There’s a long list of people I’d like to bite,” said Marra, a bit dryly. The dust-wife snorted. “Fair enough. Just tell me if you get the urge to chew afterward, then.”

— T. Kingfisher

117. “I swear, I am not usually a person who looks up medical conditions online. I lived without health insurance long enough that I am far more likely to try to sleep off anything short of decapitation.”

— T. Kingfisher

118. “If she was half an animal, let the animal half speak for her, then. The human part was tied up with human things like self-loathing, but that did not matter. There were no words in reindeer speech for I hate myself. It was not a concept that could be thought, and so she did not bother to think it. She.”

— T. Kingfisher

119. “There is something about a group of people that is less than the sum of its parts.”

— T. Kingfisher

120. “I am not a nun,” said Slate. “Incidentally, that’s the first time I’ve ever had to tell anyone that.”

— T. Kingfisher

121. “The problem with crying in the woods, by the side of a white road that leads somewhere terrible, is that the reason for crying isn’t inside your head. You have a perfectly legitimate and pressing reason for crying, and it will still be there in five minutes, except that your throat will be raw and your eyes will itch and absolutely nothing else will have changed.”

— T. Kingfisher

122. “Hell, if I kissed him, he’d probably apologize for getting in the way of my lips. That might be an interesting apology.”

— T. Kingfisher

123. “There is nothing in the world so patient as a plant awaiting spring.”

— T. Kingfisher

124. “Slate wiggled her bare toes at him. “I have one pair that is not more hole than sock. They are taking a well-deserved rest. They are heroes of the sock world.”

— T. Kingfisher

125. “I looked at them for quite a long time, then I looked away and Simon didn’t say anything and I didn’t say anything and we both did not say anything so loudly that the room rang with our silence.”

— T. Kingfisher

126. “Tastes like rat squeezins’ with too much honey.”

— T. Kingfisher

127. “If you’re looking for a way to break the contract, I do not know. You’d need a demon or a barrister to answer that.”

— T. Kingfisher

128. “The room she found herself in, when they had tied her to yet another chair and removed the sack, was larger than the last one. It was also clean, but in the fashion of a room that can be easily sluiced down to get the bloodstains off the walls. That was a happy thought. I’m so glad I had it.”

— T. Kingfisher

129. “I will unmake him,” said the clock wife simply. “I will pull the marrow from his bones and pour lead into the spaces left behind. I will make his dying into a place and visit it every day until the end of eternity.”

— T. Kingfisher

130. “We weren’t big on funerals in my family. I know some families have these massive orgies of grief, where all the third cousins come back and sob over the casket, but we’re not like that.”

— T. Kingfisher

131. “It was a cruel spirit that would punish starving people for what they had been forced to eat, but the spirits had never pretended to be kind.”

— T. Kingfisher

132. “Oh no, a human feeling awkward. How terrible.”

— T. Kingfisher

133. “Justice seemed so little, so late.”

— T. Kingfisher

134. “It occurs to me,” said the weasel, going back to mussing around in her hair, “that you are laboring under the impression that I am some sort of magical familiar. I’m not. I’m really a very ordinary weasel – although quite good-looking, of course – and not magical at all.”

— T. Kingfisher

135. “Marra no longer had much faith in fate. She had been born a princess, which should have been lucky, but the price for never going hungry was to be caught in a struggle between people too powerful to call to justice.”

— T. Kingfisher

136. “Stephen watched as she wrapped her arms around her torso, almost unconsciously making herself smaller. He made a mental note to find this former partner and loom over him very insistently.”

— T. Kingfisher

137. “Anywhere there’s people, there’s a possibility of evil, wouldn’t you say?”

— T. Kingfisher

138. “I fear that I am not the best possible person for this, but I am the best possible person available at this time, which is much the same thing.”

— T. Kingfisher

139. “Well, he’s a dog. They don’t have an idea how the world’s supposed to be, so it doesn’t bother them when it isn’t.” Agnes frowned. “Except herding dogs, I think. They have a pretty clear idea in their heads, so they’re always nipping and worrying and trying to get it to fit.”

— T. Kingfisher

140. “There were too many problems with wizards and fairies and odd things popping up in the corners of the potato field for anyone to want to invite more supernatural intervention.”

— T. Kingfisher

141. “She was still going somewhere terrible, but she had a hedgehog, dammit.”

— T. Kingfisher

142. “No matter how pale and pure and perfect you are, the moon is even more perfect.”

— T. Kingfisher

143. “The mountains in the background loomed like swords, but the city loomed higher, as if it had been made to stand against the mountains.”

— T. Kingfisher

144. “Then again, few humans were truly worth the love of a living dog. Some gifts you could never deserve.”

— T. Kingfisher

145. “Summer had read a great many books about magic and animals and changing your shape. Summer’s mother believed that books were safe things that kept you inside, which only shows how little she knew about it, because books are one of the least safe things in the world.”

— T. Kingfisher

146. “Nobody tortures people at home. It ruins the carpets.”

— T. Kingfisher

147. “She engaged in a few moments of recreational xenophobia, which didn’t help at all but did pass the time.”

— T. Kingfisher

148. “In the course of all that wandering around losing fights, we developed our own language, Gallacian. I am told it is worse than Finnish, which is impressive.”

— T. Kingfisher

149. “But he’s mad, completely mad, and he turns his wives into golems. He needs killing, not negotiation.”

— T. Kingfisher

150. “You never forget some things,” said Bryony. Three deportment teachers had nearly broken themselves training those things into her, and one had actually quit and gone into the seminary afterwards.”

— T. Kingfisher