Top 300 T. Kingfisher Quotes (2024 Update)
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201. “But he’s mad, completely mad, and he turns his wives into golems. He needs killing, not negotiation.”

— T. Kingfisher

202. “She made dramatic plans in the darkness and discarded them in daylight.”

— T. Kingfisher

203. “If you’re looking for a way to break the contract, I do not know. You’d need a demon or a barrister to answer that.”

— T. Kingfisher

204. “She had a strong urge to kiss him, and then perhaps beat him about the head and shoulders with his own sword.”

— T. Kingfisher

205. “Run and be free. They cannot use what they cannot find.”

— T. Kingfisher

206. “The road itself was as clear as heartbreak.”

— T. Kingfisher

207. “I started laughing. I couldn’t help it. It was all so ridiculous. Gran Mae thought she could get me about my weight? I’d come out of academia. If she wanted to tear me apart, she should have commented on my doctoral thesis.”

— T. Kingfisher

208. “She was used to being stubborn, but having people agree with her was off-putting and didn’t give her much to work with.”

— T. Kingfisher

209. “Have you ever considered giving up killing people and becoming a tailor?” “Oh, yes.” “And?” “I don’t like people unless I’m stabbing them.”

— T. Kingfisher

210. “They always say that when you lose weight,” I said grimly. “You could be shooting heroin twice a day and if you lost weight, it’d be ‘Just keep doing whatever you’re doing!”

— T. Kingfisher

211. “Learn what you can. Use what you learn. You have not failed yet.”

— T. Kingfisher

212. “You just didn’t bring a pitchfork to a swan fight.”

— T. Kingfisher

213. “Everyone have their souls still? Shadows still attached? Then let’s go before that changes.”

— T. Kingfisher

214. “I suspect if I had owned a border collie, this story would have a very different ending, and I probably would not have been around to type it up. But I had Bongo, and he saved our lives because he is simple and made of nose.”

— T. Kingfisher

215. “It seemed like once you agreed that the government could put you on a list because of something you were born with, you were asking for trouble.”

— T. Kingfisher

216. “Normal people flirt. I think. Apparently we just exchange terrible life stories.”

— T. Kingfisher

217. “She was still going somewhere terrible, but she had a hedgehog, dammit.”

— T. Kingfisher

218. “Perhaps it was a toad. Perhaps the whole world was a toad. It was no stupider than anyone else’s cosmology. Clara would leave the order of St. Ursa and found the order of St. Toad. They would sleep a lot. Yes. Sleeping seemed like a good commandment for the order. Sleep and hot tea. Yes. She was working out the various ranks and the secondary rules for St. Toad’s worship when Galen said, “There’s smoke rising ahead. We’re nearly there.”

— T. Kingfisher

219. “You got tired of waiting around for a worthy husband to present himself,” continued Gran Aischa, “so you went out, with your trusted raven, to find the prince wise enough to speak to you without fear.” She brought her hands together. “And you are still looking, but one day, I’m sure, you’ll find him.”

— T. Kingfisher

220. “Don’t ask me where the cookies get the dances they do – this batch had been doing hornpipes. The last batch did waltzes, and the one before that hade performed a decidedly lewd little number that had even made Aunt Tabitha blush. A little too much spice in those, I think.”

— T. Kingfisher

221. “God forgives a lot,” said Uncle Earl. “He has to. We all do a lot that needs forgiving.”

— T. Kingfisher

222. “I could hop into an ER carrying my severed leg and squirting blood from the stump and the doctor would congratulate me on having dropped all that leg weight and tell me to keep up the good work.”

— T. Kingfisher

223. “It’s a long drive. It’s pretty, actually, if you go through West Virginia, but of course then you’re in West Virginia.”

— T. Kingfisher

224. “Stephen told him that she had moved a second chair into the workshop so that he could knit in the same room with her, which, judging by Stephen’s reaction, was a declaration of affection unmatched in modern times.”

— T. Kingfisher

225. “It was too quiet all evening. I ate cold pizza and drank too much wine. The box said that I should pair it with chimichurri sauce and salsa dancing. The box was going to get British murder shows and like it.”

— T. Kingfisher

226. “Her spine was curved, but in a way that gave the impression of a scimitar blade rather than old age.”

— T. Kingfisher

227. “Inspiration knocks now and again, but spite bangs on the door all year long.”

— T. Kingfisher

228. “Are you a witch?” asked Janna. “No,” said the old woman, “I’m a Lutheran. But we’ll make do.”

— T. Kingfisher

229. “It is a great relief, when one has thrown away normal life in search of their heart’s desire, to know that one is doing it right and isn’t going to get yelled at for going the wrong way.”

— T. Kingfisher

230. “The core of being a witch is that you don’t fall down while there’s work to be done. Sometimes that means you invent work to keep yourself standing upright.”

— T. Kingfisher

231. “He took another swallow, vaguely hoping that sobriety would lie at the bottom of the glass.”

— T. Kingfisher

232. “There were so few people who kept a sense of humor when they were miserable, you learned to appreciate it.”

— T. Kingfisher

233. “That our own flaws infuriate us in other people?”

— T. Kingfisher

234. “It is gratifying,” said Learned Edmund. “The world is often sorely unappreciative of quality indexing.”

— T. Kingfisher

235. “Ladies, Get you a man who can handle a portal to hell without freaking out.”

— T. Kingfisher

236. “The town probably had a name, but Clara never learned it. It was the Place of Hot Tea and Beds, Sacred Holy Land of St. Toad.”

— T. Kingfisher

237. “It’s not good stomping along mad and forgetting to take care of yourself,” said the armadillo.”

— T. Kingfisher

238. “Slate wiggled her bare toes at him. “I have one pair that is not more hole than sock. They are taking a well-deserved rest. They are heroes of the sock world.”

— T. Kingfisher

239. “Had she run away? Could you really run away when you were thirty years old?”

— T. Kingfisher

240. “You show up to basic training and they hand you a sword and a new set of pronouns.”

— T. Kingfisher

241. “Miss Marple is always saying that one sees so much evil in a small village. That’s how she solves all the murders. They all remind her of things she saw in her village.”

— T. Kingfisher

242. “I’m suggesting that if you’re going to bring hell down upon someone’s head, you should dress for the occasion.”

— T. Kingfisher

243. “Rescue was bad. People who wanted you to be vulnerable and grateful tended to get very angry when you stopped being vulnerable and didn’t act grateful enough.”

— T. Kingfisher

244. “Everybody yells at Orpheus and Lot’s wife. Put yourself in their shoes for five minutes and you’d yell a lot less, I promise you.”

— T. Kingfisher

245. “Apparently a girl walking through the Elbow was unusual, but a girl with a madwoman riding a dead horse was perfectly acceptable. There was probably a moral lesson in there somewhere, but I had given up on moral lessons for today.”

— T. Kingfisher

246. “Really stupid people die all the time. And if they can manage it, I oughta have no problem.”

— T. Kingfisher

247. “There is enough darkness in the world,” said the Herder. “We do not add to it unless we must.”

— T. Kingfisher

248. “Is this about the wonder-engine?” “I have no idea,” said Learned Edmund. He leaned his forehead against the heel of his hand. “It might be. It might be a recipe for boiled cabbages. Nothing is organized. I am going old before my time looking at these.” “You’re nineteen.” “Each of these pages is taking a month off my life.” “When you get to the bottom of the box, you’ll still be younger than I am.”

— T. Kingfisher

249. “So their leader looks pretty dead,” said Istvhan, who was at the point where a corpse was a welcome break in the tension.”

— T. Kingfisher

250. “There are very few people who can use a pet name on me, but Southern waitresses can get away with it every time.”

— T. Kingfisher