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Top 300 T. Kingfisher Quotes (2026 Update)
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T. Kingfisher Quote: “Are you a witch?” asked Janna. “No,” said the old woman, “I’m a Lutheran. But we’ll make do.”

301. “Are you a witch?” asked Janna. “No,” said the old woman, “I’m a Lutheran. But we’ll make do.”

— T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher Quote: “It’s not good stomping along mad and forgetting to take care of yourself,” said the armadillo.”

302. “It’s not good stomping along mad and forgetting to take care of yourself,” said the armadillo.”

— T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher Quote: “Had she run away? Could you really run away when you were thirty years old?”

303. “Had she run away? Could you really run away when you were thirty years old?”

— T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher Quote: “She did not know many beautiful animals that had sweet tempers, except perhaps butterflies. Then again, there wasn’t enough to a butterfly to properly be called a temper. That options did an angry butterfly have, anyway? Stamping eylashed-sized feet? Flapping its wings in a sarcastic manner?”

304. “She did not know many beautiful animals that had sweet tempers, except perhaps butterflies. Then again, there wasn’t enough to a butterfly to properly be called a temper. That options did an angry butterfly have, anyway? Stamping eylashed-sized feet? Flapping its wings in a sarcastic manner?”

— T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher Quote: “He doesn’t seem to mind me taking bits to make bread, and it’s still the best sourdough in town. We just don’t tell anybody about the eating-rats thing.”

305. “He doesn’t seem to mind me taking bits to make bread, and it’s still the best sourdough in town. We just don’t tell anybody about the eating-rats thing.”

— T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher Quote: “The road itself was as clear as heartbreak.”

306. “The road itself was as clear as heartbreak.”

— T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher Quote: “They always say that when you lose weight,” I said grimly. “You could be shooting heroin twice a day and if you lost weight, it’d be ‘Just keep doing whatever you’re doing!”

307. “They always say that when you lose weight,” I said grimly. “You could be shooting heroin twice a day and if you lost weight, it’d be ‘Just keep doing whatever you’re doing!”

— T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher Quote: “Why do gods always want you to walk to them? You’d think they’d do more good if they were near where most of the people live.”

308. “Why do gods always want you to walk to them? You’d think they’d do more good if they were near where most of the people live.”

— T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher Quote: “Still, I have to admit I didn’t see the chicken or the puppet coming.”

309. “Still, I have to admit I didn’t see the chicken or the puppet coming.”

— T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher Quote: “I asked my phone if it was connected to the internet and it told me that it had a very close relationship with the internet. I attempted to pull up a web page and it informed me that it was not that kind of relationship.”

310. “I asked my phone if it was connected to the internet and it told me that it had a very close relationship with the internet. I attempted to pull up a web page and it informed me that it was not that kind of relationship.”

— T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher Quote: “No matter how pale and pure and perfect you are, the moon is even more perfect.”

311. “No matter how pale and pure and perfect you are, the moon is even more perfect.”

— T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher Quote: “Doctor Piper dealt with corpses and for the most part, he preferred them to the living. He didn’t mind living people, he was perfectly happy to meet them and talk to them and even work with them, but corpses never, ever asked stupid questions.”

312. “Doctor Piper dealt with corpses and for the most part, he preferred them to the living. He didn’t mind living people, he was perfectly happy to meet them and talk to them and even work with them, but corpses never, ever asked stupid questions.”

— T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher Quote: “And then, of course, there are the other sort. They ask questions, but what they really want to know is what’s in your pants and, by extension, who’s in your bed.”

313. “And then, of course, there are the other sort. They ask questions, but what they really want to know is what’s in your pants and, by extension, who’s in your bed.”

— T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher Quote: “What options did an angry butterfly have, anyway? Stamping eyelash-sized feet? Flapping its wings in a sarcastic manner? In.”

314. “What options did an angry butterfly have, anyway? Stamping eyelash-sized feet? Flapping its wings in a sarcastic manner? In.”

— T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher Quote: “Also, the wizard’s response to having a skeletal deer leap in front of him and a bruised and whimpering elf fall off its back was to say, “Oh.” That.”

315. “Also, the wizard’s response to having a skeletal deer leap in front of him and a bruised and whimpering elf fall off its back was to say, “Oh.” That.”

— T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher Quote: “Slate stepped in, her face as cool and detached as a woman doing long division.”

316. “Slate stepped in, her face as cool and detached as a woman doing long division.”

— T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher Quote: “It’s what the Rat does,” said Galen, with bleak amusement. “They solve problems.”

317. “It’s what the Rat does,” said Galen, with bleak amusement. “They solve problems.”

— T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher Quote: “Does this mean my genitals are going to fall off?” asked Brenner. “Women of the world, rejoice!” said Caliban, coming back into the room.”

318. “Does this mean my genitals are going to fall off?” asked Brenner. “Women of the world, rejoice!” said Caliban, coming back into the room.”

— T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher Quote: “But I want to go! It’s not an abduction! Really!”

319. “But I want to go! It’s not an abduction! Really!”

— T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher Quote: “When she shut the door to her room, it stayed shut. In the royal palace, the doors were always opening, servants coming and going, nurses coming and going, ladies-in-waiting coming and going. Princesses were public property. She had not realized that a nun had more power than a princess, that she could close a door.”

320. “When she shut the door to her room, it stayed shut. In the royal palace, the doors were always opening, servants coming and going, nurses coming and going, ladies-in-waiting coming and going. Princesses were public property. She had not realized that a nun had more power than a princess, that she could close a door.”

— T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher Quote: “She was theirs; they were hers. The love of monsters was uncomplicated.”

321. “She was theirs; they were hers. The love of monsters was uncomplicated.”

— T. Kingfisher

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