Top 300 T. Kingfisher Quotes (2026 Update)
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301. “It’s because you’re too much alike. What did the abbess used to say? That our own flaws infuriate us in other people?”

— T. Kingfisher

302. “Rescue was bad. People who wanted you to be vulnerable and grateful tended to get very angry when you stopped being vulnerable and didn’t act grateful enough.”

— T. Kingfisher

303. “Why do gods always want you to walk to them? You’d think they’d do more good if they were near where most of the people live.”

— T. Kingfisher

304. “Still, I have to admit I didn’t see the chicken or the puppet coming.”

— T. Kingfisher

305. “I asked my phone if it was connected to the internet and it told me that it had a very close relationship with the internet. I attempted to pull up a web page and it informed me that it was not that kind of relationship.”

— T. Kingfisher

306. “Also, the wizard’s response to having a skeletal deer leap in front of him and a bruised and whimpering elf fall off its back was to say, “Oh.” That.”

— T. Kingfisher

307. “Slate stepped in, her face as cool and detached as a woman doing long division.”

— T. Kingfisher

308. “Sometimes it’s hard to know if someone is insulting or just an American.”

— T. Kingfisher

309. “And then, of course, there are the other sort. They ask questions, but what they really want to know is what’s in your pants and, by extension, who’s in your bed.”

— T. Kingfisher

310. “What options did an angry butterfly have, anyway? Stamping eyelash-sized feet? Flapping its wings in a sarcastic manner? In.”

— T. Kingfisher

311. “But I want to go! It’s not an abduction! Really!”

— T. Kingfisher

312. “When she shut the door to her room, it stayed shut. In the royal palace, the doors were always opening, servants coming and going, nurses coming and going, ladies-in-waiting coming and going. Princesses were public property. She had not realized that a nun had more power than a princess, that she could close a door.”

— T. Kingfisher

313. “She was theirs; they were hers. The love of monsters was uncomplicated.”

— T. Kingfisher

314. “You just didn’t bring a pitchfork to a swan fight.”

— T. Kingfisher

315. “It’s what the Rat does,” said Galen, with bleak amusement. “They solve problems.”

— T. Kingfisher

316. “Does this mean my genitals are going to fall off?” asked Brenner. “Women of the world, rejoice!” said Caliban, coming back into the room.”

— T. Kingfisher

317. “That’s one of the hardest parts of being an artist, you know – learning to be patient with yourself when you’re not as good as you want to be.”

— T. Kingfisher

318. “You learned better and you got on with things. You learned that you were what you were, and tried to be the best version of that person, because you were never going to be anybody else. And you stopped envying other people because everyone had problems you didn’t know about.”

— T. Kingfisher

319. “My internet armor had been built up in the fanfic battlegrounds and was thus impenetrable, but Uncle Earl was a gentle soul, and I was afraid that someone might hurt his feelings.”

— T. Kingfisher

320. “She should at least keep chickens,” said the dust-wife. “Or take up gardening. Immortality is wretched, but you can always make the best of it.”

— T. Kingfisher

321. “There is enough darkness in the world,” said the Herder. “We do not add to it unless we must.”

— T. Kingfisher

322. “No, child, you give someone an impossible task so that they won’t be able to do it.”

— T. Kingfisher

323. “You expect heroes to survive terrible things. If you give them a medal, then you don’t ever have to ask why the terrible thing happened in the first place. Or try to fix it.”

— T. Kingfisher

324. “Shame flitted briefly over Brenner’s face, but found itself in unfamiliar surroundings and didn’t settle.”

— T. Kingfisher

325. “I did not look at the words on the wall. If I didn’t look at them, they didn’t matter. Words are meaningless until you read them.”

— T. Kingfisher

326. “She had apparently decided that Marra could be withdrawn from the game of merchants and princes and safety set aside. Marra both resented her mother for being so clear-eyed and was grateful to be free of the game, and she added this to the store of complicated things piled up beneath her heart.”

— T. Kingfisher

327. “Hate, like love, was apparently complicated.”

— T. Kingfisher

328. “Perhaps it was a toad. Perhaps the whole world was a toad. It was no stupider than anyone else’s cosmology. Clara would leave the order of St. Ursa and found the order of St. Toad. They would sleep a lot. Yes. Sleeping seemed like a good commandment for the order. Sleep and hot tea. Yes. She was working out the various ranks and the secondary rules for St. Toad’s worship when Galen said, “There’s smoke rising ahead. We’re nearly there.”

— T. Kingfisher

329. “Don’t ask me where the cookies get the dances they do – this batch had been doing hornpipes. The last batch did waltzes, and the one before that hade performed a decidedly lewd little number that had even made Aunt Tabitha blush. A little too much spice in those, I think.”

— T. Kingfisher