Top 100

Top 200 Tina Fey Quotes (2024 Update)
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Tina Fey Quote: “When choosing sexual partners, remember: Talent is not sexually transmittable.”
Tina Fey Quote: “Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.”
Tina Fey Quote: “Never tell a crazy person he’s crazy.”
Tina Fey Quote: “It’s not vanity, because if you look weird, it will distract from what your trying to do. If you look as good as you can, people will be able to pay attention to what your actually saying.”
Tina Fey Quote: “When I first set out to ruin SNL, I didn’t think anyone would notice, but i persevered because like you trying to a do a nine- piece jigsaw puzzle, it was a labor of love.”
Tina Fey Quote: “Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying “like” all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.”
Tina Fey Quote: “A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I’m on my game.”
Tina Fey Quote: “Al Gore announced Tuesday that he plans to launch a 24-hour cable news network for young adults. Gore claims he’s been wanting to do this since he invented cable TV in the 1990s.”
Tina Fey Quote: “Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.”
Tina Fey Quote: “It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is empirically not good. I don’t like Chinese food, but I don’t write articles trying to prove it doesn’t exist.”
Tina Fey Quote: “Am I just chasing it because it’s the hardest thing for me to get and I want to prove I can do it?”
Tina Fey Quote: “We writers dream of a future where actors are mostly computer generated and their performances can be adjusted, by us, on a laptop, alone.”
Tina Fey Quote: “Either way, everything will be fine.”
Tina Fey Quote: “I don’t like my feet. I’m not crazy about anybody’s feet. But I have flat feet.”
Tina Fey Quote: “Sleep when your baby sleeps. Everyone knows this classic tip, but I say why stop there? Scream when your baby screams. Take Benadryl when your baby takes Benadryl. And walk around pantless when your baby walks around pantless.”
Tina Fey Quote: “If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.”
Tina Fey Quote: “Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one.”
Tina Fey Quote: “In an interview, Paris Hilton said that of her and her sister, “People love to hate us. But when you know us, you love us. And if you really get to know us, you get gonorrhea.””
Tina Fey Quote: “Saudi Arabian police arrested seven teenage boys for leering at women. In accordance with Saudi law, the boys will be whipped and the women will be stoned to death.”
Tina Fey Quote: “I’m not a fan of purposely farting in front of other people. If you have to fart, leave the room.”
Tina Fey Quote: “I love to play strippers and to imitate them. I love using that idea for comedy, but the idea of actually going there? I feel like we all need to be better than that. That industry needs to die, by all of us being a little bit better than that.”
Tina Fey Quote: “Thomas Jefferson – another gorgeous white boy who would not have been interested in me. This was my problem in a nutshell. To get some play in Charlottesville, you had to be either a Martha Jefferson or a Sally Hemings.”
Tina Fey Quote: “I think people fetishize glasses in general. You could put glasses on a rotting pumpkin and people would think it was sexy.”
Tina Fey Quote: “Either way, everything will be fine. But if you have an opinion, please feel free to offer it to me through the gap in the door of a public restroom. Everyone else does.”
Tina Fey Quote: “It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film.”
Tina Fey Quote: “At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment.”
Tina Fey Quote: “My husband doesn’t like to fly. He does fly now because he doesn’t want our daughter to grow up thinking he is a Don Knotts character. But when we were first married, he didn’t fly.”
Tina Fey Quote: “To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.”
Tina Fey Quote: “My parents are very well-behaved. If anything, if my Mom were here right now, she would hug and kiss every one of you hello, and then she would feed you.”
Tina Fey Quote: “I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it’s only because I struggle with math.”
Tina Fey Quote: “There are so many quiet times you spend as a mother that aren’t glorified but are a foundation for your kids. No matter what, there was always a thick safety net under this trapeze.”
Tina Fey Quote: “I still want Oprah to play my best friend. I want to spend time with Oprah.”
Tina Fey Quote: “It’s the same reason I don’t get Hooters. Why do we need to enjoy chicken wings and boobies at the same time? Yes, they are a natural and beautiful part of the human experience. And so are boobies. But why at the same time?”
Tina Fey Quote: “My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.”
Tina Fey Quote: “The topic of working moms is a tap-dance recital in a minefield.”
Tina Fey Quote: “Lesson learned? When people say, “You really, really must” do something, it means you don’t really have to. No one ever says, “You really, really must deliver the baby during labor.” When it’s true, it doesn’t need to be said.”
Tina Fey Quote: “I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian.”
Tina Fey Quote: “Then she took out a speculum the size of a milk shake machine. Even Michelle Duggar would have flinched at this thing, but I had never seen one before.”
Tina Fey Quote: “Amy Poehler and I have been friends for so long, we’re like Oprah and Gale. Only we’re not denying anything.”
Tina Fey Quote: “The first time I went to see a Second City show, I was in awe of everything. I just wanted to touch the same stage that Gilda Radner had walked on. It was sacred ground.”
Tina Fey Quote: “Will Ferrell is a dangerous man. If he thinks you’re in his way in show business, he will crack your head open. He’s the Jeff Gillooly of comedy.”
Tina Fey Quote: “I got a fan letter on the back of a prison menu. And I remember thinking, ‘Well, they get pie. It’s not so bad. They get pie on the weekends.’ I want to say blueberry and also a Boston cream pie. Not so bad.”
Tina Fey Quote: “Ladies gotta say no to their husbands at the movies. They gotta say: “No, we are watching back-to-back cancer movies. And then this movie about a cat.””
Tina Fey Quote: “Sometimes if you have a difficult decisin to make, just stall until the answer presents itself.”
Tina Fey Quote: “You know who DOES have a funny bone in her body? Your Mom every night for a dollar!”
Tina Fey Quote: “The way down from Old Rag is a forest road. We found a stream in the woods and finally got a drink of water. We scooped it up with our hands and it was the greatest, most satisfying drink of water I ever had in my life.”
Tina Fey Quote: “This made no sense to me, probably because I speak English and have never had a head injury.”
Tina Fey Quote: “A wise friend once told me, ‘Don’t wear what fashion designers tell you to wear. Wear what they wear.’”
Tina Fey Quote: “If everyone had a dad like mine, no one would have sex tapes.”
Tina Fey Quote: “I don’t really have a nemesis, but I have a series of hundreds of small enemies that fuel me. Everyone I meet I assume is out to get me and that fuels my fire on a daily basis.”
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