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Witty Quotes

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Witty Quotes: “I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.” — Mae West

I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.

— Mae West



Witty Quotes: “The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.” — Henry David Thoreau

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

— Henry David Thoreau


Witty Quotes: “Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.” — Tina Fey

Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.

— Tina Fey


Witty Quotes: “I’m not anti-social. I’m just not social.” — Woody Allen

I’m not anti-social. I’m just not social.

— Woody Allen


Witty Quotes: “Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.” — Woody Allen

Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.

— Woody Allen


Witty Quotes: “The greatest risk is to risk nothing at all.” — Leo Buscaglia

The greatest risk is to risk nothing at all.

— Leo Buscaglia


Witty Quotes: “If a man does his best, what else is there?” — George S. Patton Jr.

If a man does his best, what else is there?

— George S. Patton Jr.


Witty Quotes: “When we talk to God, we’re praying. When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic.” — Jane Wagner

When we talk to God, we’re praying. When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic.

— Jane Wagner


Witty Quotes: “The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” — Lily Tomlin

The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.

— Lily Tomlin


Witty Quotes: “Common sense is not so common.” — Voltaire

Common sense is not so common.

— Voltaire



Witty Quotes: “Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.” — Douglas Adams

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

— Douglas Adams


Witty Quotes: “In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.” — Tina Fey

In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.

— Tina Fey


Witty Quotes: “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” — Bob Hope

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

— Bob Hope


Witty Quotes: “Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.” — Erica Jong

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.

— Erica Jong


Witty Quotes: “Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.” — John F. Kennedy

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

— John F. Kennedy


Witty Quotes: “It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.” — Niccolò Machiavelli

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

— Niccolò Machiavelli


Witty Quotes: “It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.” — Carl Sagan

It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.

— Carl Sagan


Witty Quotes: “If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.” — Woody Allen

If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.

— Woody Allen


Witty Quotes: “Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less.” — Susan B. Anthony

Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less.

— Susan B. Anthony


Witty Quotes: “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” — Warren Zevon

I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

— Warren Zevon



Witty Quotes: “Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.” — Rudyard Kipling

Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.

— Rudyard Kipling


Witty Quotes: “Give me a museum and I’ll fill it.” — Pablo Picasso

Give me a museum and I’ll fill it.

— Pablo Picasso


Witty Quotes: “We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.” — Woody Allen

We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.

— Woody Allen


Witty Quotes: “Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.” — Mark Twain

Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.

— Mark Twain


Witty Quotes: “Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.” — Oscar Wilde

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

— Oscar Wilde


Witty Quotes: “All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.” — Arthur Schopenhauer

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

— Arthur Schopenhauer


Witty Quotes: “If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?” — Lily Tomlin

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

— Lily Tomlin


Witty Quotes: “I’m single because I was born that way.” — Mae West

I’m single because I was born that way.

— Mae West


Witty Quotes: “Never mistake motion for action.” — Ernest Hemingway

Never mistake motion for action.

— Ernest Hemingway


Witty Quotes: “Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

— Groucho Marx


Witty Quotes: “Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.” — Albert Einstein

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

— Albert Einstein


Witty Quotes: “Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.” — Mark Twain

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

— Mark Twain


Witty Quotes: “Try to learn something about everything and everything about something.” — Thomas Henry Huxley

Try to learn something about everything and everything about something.

— Thomas Henry Huxley


Witty Quotes: “Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.” — H. G. Wells

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

— H. G. Wells


Witty Quotes: “Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!” — Groucho Marx

Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!

— Groucho Marx


Witty Quotes: “You have to count on living every single day in a way you believe will make you feel good about your life – so that if it were over tomorrow, you’d be content with yourself.” — Jane Seymour

You have to count on living every single day in a way you believe will make you feel good about your life – so that if it were over tomorrow, you’d be content with yourself.

— Jane Seymour


Witty Quotes: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” — Edmund Burke

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

— Edmund Burke


Witty Quotes: “Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.” — George Bernard Shaw

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.

— George Bernard Shaw


Witty Quotes: “That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.” — George Carlin

That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

— George Carlin


Witty Quotes: “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.” — Albert Einstein

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

— Albert Einstein

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