Top 40 Virginia Satir Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “We must not allow other people’s limited perceptions to define us.”

— Virginia Satir

Featured in: Being Yourself Quotes

2. “We get together on the basis of our similarities; we grow on the basis of our differences.”

— Virginia Satir

3. “I want to love you without clutching, appreciate you without judging, join you without invading, invite you without demanding, leave you without guilt, criticize you without blaming, and help you without insulting. If I can have the same from you, then we can truly meet and enrich each other.”

— Virginia Satir

4. “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”

— Virginia Satir

5. “Life is not what it’s supposed to be. It’s what it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.”

— Virginia Satir

6. “I am me and I am okay.”

— Virginia Satir

7. “People prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty.”

— Virginia Satir

8. “Problems are not the problem; coping is the problem.”

— Virginia Satir

9. “The symbol in Chinese for crisis is made up of two ideographs: one means danger, the other means opportunity. This symbol is a reminder that we can choose to turn a crisis into an opportunity or into a negative experience.”

— Virginia Satir

10. “As a therapist, I am a companion. I try to help people tune into their own wisdom.”

— Virginia Satir

11. “I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.”

— Virginia Satir

12. “I want you to get excited about who you are, what you are, what you have, and what can still be for you. I want to inspire you to see that you can go far beyond where you are right now.”

— Virginia Satir

13. “Communication is to relationships what breath is to life.”

— Virginia Satir

14. “The Problem is never the problem! It is only a symptom of something much deeper.”

— Virginia Satir

15. “Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible – the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.”

— Virginia Satir

16. “The message sent is not always the message received.”

— Virginia Satir

17. “We need to see ourselves as basic miracles.”

— Virginia Satir

18. “It is now clear to me that the family is a microcosm of the world. To understand the world, we can study the family: issues such as power, intimacy, autonomy, trust, and communication skills are vital parts underlying how we live in the world. To change the world is to change the family.”

— Virginia Satir

19. “I believe the greatest gift I can conceive of having from anyone is to be seen by them, heard by them, to be understood and touched by them.”

— Virginia Satir

20. “Your responses to the events of life are more important than the events themselves.”

— Virginia Satir

21. “Our biggest problem as human beings is not knowing that we don’t know.”

— Virginia Satir

22. “The full life is filled with vulnerability, not defense. You face whatever feeling there is.”

— Virginia Satir

23. “Adolescents are not monsters. They are just people trying to learn how to make it among the adults in the world, who are probably not so sure themselves.”

— Virginia Satir

24. “Many people are living in an emotional jail without realizing it.”

— Virginia Satir

25. “We can learn something new anytime we believe we can.”

— Virginia Satir

26. “Taste everything, but swallow only what fits.”

— Virginia Satir

27. “It is O. K. for me to feel angry and to express it in responsible ways.”

— Virginia Satir

28. “I give life to that which I notice. What I don’t notice dies.”

— Virginia Satir

29. “Once a human being has arrived on this earth, communication is the largest single factor determining what kinds of relationships he makes with others and what happens to him in the world about him.”

— Virginia Satir

30. “I believe the greatest gift I can conceive of having from anyone is to be seen by them, heard by them, to be understood and touched by them. The greatest gift I can give is to see, hear, understand and to touch another person. When this is done I feel contact has been made.”

— Virginia Satir

31. “The recommended daily requirement for hugs is: four per day for survival, eight per day for maintenance, and twelve per day for growth.”

— Virginia Satir

32. “Every word, facial expression, gesture, or action on the part of a parent gives the child some message about self-worth. It is sad that so many parents don’t realize what messages they are sending.”

— Virginia Satir

33. “Put together all the existing families and you have society. It is as simple as that. Whatever kind of training took place in the individual family will be reflected in the kind of society that these families create.”

— Virginia Satir

34. “What lingers from the parent’s individual past, unresolved or incomplete, often becomes part of her or his irrational parenting.”

— Virginia Satir

35. “I have talked about choosing rather than acting from compulsion. When you feel that you have to live according to someone else’s direction or live so that you never disappoint or hurt anybody, then your life is a continual assessment of whether or not you please other people.”

— Virginia Satir

36. “I want to appreciate you without judging. Join you without invading. Invite you without demanding. Leave you without guilt.”

— Virginia Satir

37. “So much is asked of parents, and so little is given.”

— Virginia Satir

38. “I think if I have one message, one thing before I die that most of the world would know, it would be that the event does not determine how to respond to the event. That is a purely personal matter. The way in which we respond will direct and influence the event more than the event itself.”

— Virginia Satir

39. “My dream is to make families a place where adults with high self esteem can develop. I think we have reached a point where if we don’t get busy on dreams of this sort, our end is in sight. We need a world that is as good for human beings as it is for technology.”

— Virginia Satir

40. “Each morning when you wake up, bow three times before the mirror and say, “The world is a better place because I am here.”

— Virginia Satir

41. “It’s sad that children cannot know their parents when they were younger; when they were loving, courting, and being nice to one another. By the time children are old enough to observe, the romance has all too often faded or gone underground.”

— Virginia Satir

42. “To see and hear what is here, instead of what should be, was, or will be. To say what I feel and think instead of what I should. To feel what I feel instead of what I ought. To ask for what I want instead of always waiting for permission. To take risks on my behalf, instead of choosing to be safe and not rock the boat.”

— Virginia Satir

43. “I know people can change-right down to my bones, through every cell, in every fiber of my body-I now that people can change. It is just a question of when and in what context.”

— Virginia Satir

44. “You have learned what you have learned very well. It has helped you survive.”

— Virginia Satir

45. “No one’s fingerprints are exactly the same as anyone else’s.”

— Virginia Satir

46. “Negotiating the adolescent stage is neither quick nor easy.”

— Virginia Satir

47. “A growing body of clinical observation has pointed to the conclusion that the family therapy must be oriented to the family as a whole.”

— Virginia Satir

48. “You have all played a significant part in my development of loving. As a result, my life has been rich and full, so I leave feeling very grateful.”

— Virginia Satir