Top 100 Bo Burnham Quotes (2024 Update)
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51. “I’m not a grown up until everybody realises I’m a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.”

— Bo Burnham

52. “My persona is most importantly just to communicate the material in a way that is most funny and meaningful in the moment. It’s more like a character that’s sculpted for whatever joke needs communicating at the moment.”

— Bo Burnham

53. “At once I feel that comedy is this amazing sort of transcendent thing, and I’m also open to the fact that maybe it’s just an evolutionary hiccup, something that upright apes do in their free time.”

— Bo Burnham

54. “I’ve found, across the board, that comedians have been very respectful and kind to me. And that seems to stem from the fact that they are just respectful and kind people in general. Comedians get a bad rap for being dark and anti-social I think.”

— Bo Burnham

55. “I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they’re listening to.”

— Bo Burnham

56. “I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went.”

— Bo Burnham

57. “We’re having a traditional Thanksgiving – turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.”

— Bo Burnham

58. “I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.”

— Bo Burnham

59. “Bitches and hoes don’t exist because the hoes know Bo’s a feminist.”

— Bo Burnham

60. “And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.”

— Bo Burnham

61. “Poverty. Racism. Isn’t it strange, only the homeless are begging for change?”

— Bo Burnham

62. “I’m gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.”

— Bo Burnham

63. “In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.”

— Bo Burnham

64. “I think comedy has a range, with multiple peaks in different areas. It’s like trying to compare Beethoven and the Beatles. Sometimes I hear from people, ‘I think you try too hard in your comedy.’ And that’s what I worry about.”

— Bo Burnham

65. “I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.”

— Bo Burnham

66. “Comedy is very strange to me and I don’t fully understand it’s purpose or function.”

— Bo Burnham

67. “Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.”

— Bo Burnham

68. “I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don’t have a great ear. It’s like a tragedy – I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.”

— Bo Burnham

69. “And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die.”

— Bo Burnham

70. “I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it’s totally not, which is why I’m trying to get away from it because it’s just easy and automatic.”

— Bo Burnham

71. “You guys like impressions? Why?”

— Bo Burnham

72. “I don’t try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.”

— Bo Burnham

73. “I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.”

— Bo Burnham

74. “I’m very interested in trying to make comedy shows that are a bit bigger, more theatrical, more of a “show.” Some people might say I’m trying too hard, but that’s a compliment to me. I like to inject a bit of production value and flair to comedy, or at least to my little corner of comedy.”

— Bo Burnham

75. “My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It’s much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.”

— Bo Burnham

76. “The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.”

— Bo Burnham

77. “Ya back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid, well that and fagot.”

— Bo Burnham

78. “And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.”

— Bo Burnham

79. “You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.”

— Bo Burnham

80. “Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head.”

— Bo Burnham

81. “I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it.”

— Bo Burnham

82. “I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.”

— Bo Burnham

83. “At the time of ‘Words, Words, Words,’ I’m a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he’s entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that’s inherently a little bit ridiculous.”

— Bo Burnham

84. “I’m happy with what I’m doing. I try not to focus on how I’ve changed. I just try to focus on what I’m doing now.”

— Bo Burnham

85. “It’s not most important to communicate myself on stage as it is to be as funny or interesting as I possibly can on stage. I feel more like I’m doing a play whose main character just happens to share my name.”

— Bo Burnham

86. “If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there’s a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.”

— Bo Burnham

87. “I don’t consciously try to make things difficult as much as I try to make them a little different. I like all kinds of laughs. I tried to make a show that elicit groans, guffaws, chuckles, boos.”

— Bo Burnham

88. “I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone’s watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.”

— Bo Burnham

89. “I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.”

— Bo Burnham

90. “I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I’ve enjoyed watching.”

— Bo Burnham

91. “Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.”

— Bo Burnham

92. “I’ve found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience.”

— Bo Burnham

93. “I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don’t want to construct the show to prove something.”

— Bo Burnham

94. “I never felt like I was stealing anyone’s fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.”

— Bo Burnham

95. “The influx of suited men on the airport’s moving walkway transformed it into a conveyor belt.”

— Bo Burnham

96. “Take a deep breath and give up.”

— Bo Burnham

97. “The Squares The Squares lived happily, in their square houses, in their square yards, in their square town. One day, a family of Circles moved in from the west. “Get out of here, roundies!” shouted one of the Squares. “Why?” asked one of the Circles. “Because this is a metaphor for racism!”

— Bo Burnham

98. “Being self-aware about doing something you hate doesn’t save you from the act.”

— Bo Burnham

99. “Onion You had many layers like an onion. Wait, no, like an artichoke – with your layers arranged like snake scales, not stacked like coats of paint. Be sure to call in a year or so and tell me whether I was lifting heavy stones off your bunker door or plucking petals off your face.”

— Bo Burnham

100. “I’m a drunken midget with a loaded gun, a loaded gun.”

— Bo Burnham