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Top 350 Chris Colfer Quotes (2026 Update)
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Chris Colfer Quote: “Mothers get trained in how to deliver their children, how to care for and nurture them, how to develop their motor skills and self-esteem – but no one trains you in how to stop worrying about them!”
Chris Colfer Quote: “Just like the weather, people have seasons, too- we all go through periods of rain and sunshine-but we can’t let a particularly rough winter destroy our faith in the spring, otherwise we’ll always be stuck in the snow.”
Chris Colfer Quote: “Buckinghamshirevilleton.”
Chris Colfer Quote: “As their friends fought the gingerbread soldiers, Jack and Goldilocks saw Rat Mary and Hero on the other side of the lawn. The couple moved through the soldiers in the direction of their son, slicing through them as if they were overgrown weeds. Bree seemed to be enjoying the fight; she giggled as she swung the licorice whip around her like a lion tamer.”
Chris Colfer Quote: “Everyone remain calm,” Lucy whispered to her frightened classmates. “Trolls are incredibly stupid creatures – they’ve got sight like eyeless skunks, and hearing like earless rabbits. If we stay still and silent, they won’t even know we’re here.” The students and apprentices followed Lucy’s advice and stood as still as possible. “Actually, our vision is perfect and our hearing is flawless,” the chief growled. “Dang it,” Lucy muttered. “I was thinking of gophers.”
Chris Colfer Quote: “The girls dashed to the exit, but as soon as they reached the double doors, they came to an abrupt halt – the library was surrounded by the Army of the Dead! Brystal and Lucy were trapped! Once the girls were spotted, the dead soldiers charged inside.”
Chris Colfer Quote: “I can’t believe my little boy is going to be a Deputy Justice,” Mrs. Evergreen said through happy tears. “It feels like only yesterday you were wearing my long shirts and sentencing your toys to hard labor in the backyard. My, how time flies!” “I am so proud of you, son,” Justice Evergreen said.”
Chris Colfer Quote: “Explorers are quick to claim the places they find, but they don’t.”
Chris Colfer Quote: “Mother Goose was confused. She was trying to convince Arthur to get over Alex and move on with his life, not to get over his life and move on with Alex. She had no idea how her advice could have backfired so easily.”
Chris Colfer Quote: “I didn’t think Red could write, but she definitely wrote this.”
Chris Colfer Quote: “We did not get along at first,” Dr. Mitchell said. “She pushed me harder than anyone ever had. She gave me extra homework and made me stay after school and read aloud to her. At one point, I was so tired of the special treatment, I threatened to graffiti her house if it didn’t stop. The next day she handed me a can of spray paint and a card with her address and said, “Whatever you write, just make sure it’s spelled correctly.”
Chris Colfer Quote: “In truth, the leaders were delighted their people had something besides government to direct their anger toward.”
Chris Colfer Quote: “Two hundred years,” Conner said. “Everyone you know and love is dead.” “What?”
Chris Colfer Quote: “Her ego was out of control! It blinded her judgement, making her vulnerable in ways she didn’t think were possible. In the end, a couple of snarky comments from a teenage girl defeated her. I saw it happen! Sticks and stones didn’t break her bones. It was words that hurt her!”
Chris Colfer Quote: “What if every story ever told was just a realm waiting to be discovered.”
Chris Colfer Quote: “Thanks to Granny’s bad eyesight, she thought he was an extremely furry infant.”
Chris Colfer Quote: “I’ll be right back,” Bolt said. “I’ve got some monkey business to take care of!” His brothers and sister groaned. “Annnnnd you lost me,” Blaze said. “Less is more,” Morph said.”
Chris Colfer Quote: “Only tears of the damned can soothe the eyes of the cursed.”
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