Top 350 Chris Colfer Quotes (2026 Update)
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301. “I got this delicious bottle of perfume called Fabreze.”

— Chris Colfer

302. “It took me decades to convince my kingdom that potatoes aren’t poisonous – and people still avoid them in the markets!”

— Chris Colfer

303. “Well, do you remember the part when we got shot out of the sky? Do you remember that feeling in the pit of your stomach as the ship plummeted toward the earth at hundreds of miles per hour toward a most certain death? That’s what fatherhood is like.” Froggy gulped. “Lovely.”

— Chris Colfer

304. “Love is wonderful, magical, and beautiful, but it can also be maddening, damaging, and dangerous,” she said. “It blinds us more than anything. It makes us selfish, it makes us feel like nothing else matters, and it tricks us into thinking the rest of the world doesn’t exist – but it does exist. Whether you’re on the high or low side of love, the world always moves on.”

— Chris Colfer

305. “Only in absolute silence could he simply exist and not be reminded of who and what he was, or according to his critics, who and what he wasn’t. But finding a space that wasn’t dominated by the commotion of a television set, the rapid clicks of paparazzi cameras, or the murmuring of a hungry crowd was very rare.”

— Chris Colfer

306. “I had to lose it to realize just how valuable it is.”

— Chris Colfer

307. “Have your thoughts and feelings been unexplainably negative? Have you been distancing yourself from the people you love? Has every problem seemed impossible to solve? Has your self-confidence been replaced by self-hate and self-scrutiny? Have you convinced yourself that you’re nothing but a failure and that the world would be better off without you?”

— Chris Colfer

308. “It feels just like the time we joined Christopher Columbus’s ship thinking it was a Mediterranean cruise.”

— Chris Colfer

309. “Always let the world inspire and influence you, but never let it discourage you. In fact, the more the world discourages you, the more it needs you.”

— Chris Colfer

310. “Sorry, Conner, I can’t be your girlfriend,” Bree said. All the color drained from Conner’s face, and he did his best not to look disappointed. “That’s-totally-fine-no-worries-I’m-super-okay-with-staying-friends,” he said without pausing between words. “It’s not that I don’t want to,” Bree said. “I just know that as soon as I get home I’m going to be grounded for months. But once I’m free, I’d love to be your girlfriend.”

— Chris Colfer

311. “The taller you stand, the less weight you fell. Don’t ever let anything break your spirit.”

— Chris Colfer

312. “I’ll never be farther than a thought away.”

— Chris Colfer

313. “The actors fell to the floor and acted out dramatic death scenes. Tootles’s performance was much simpler than Robin Hood’s, who convulsed around the stage for almost five minutes before he lay still.”

— Chris Colfer

314. “I know we have a lot to worry about right now, but taking one afternoon off isn’t going to make anything worse. All our problems will be waiting for you when you get back.”

— Chris Colfer

315. “The Vengeance’s sides and bow were covered in metal spikes, making it resemble a large floating cactus.”

— Chris Colfer

316. “Are you comparing an innocent race of people to potatoes, sir?”

— Chris Colfer

317. “It’s unfair and unrealistic to expect yourself to solve every problem in the world.”

— Chris Colfer

318. “Well, that’ll put a monkey wrench in their day!”

— Chris Colfer

319. “The world knows and loves me for a quality I used to hide and hate myself for,” she said. “And even though I know I have nothing to fear or be ashamed of, deep down, I’m still carrying that fear and shame with me. Somewhere along the line, I got so busy changing the world I forgot to change myself with it. And now I think those old feelings are starting to play tricks on me.”

— Chris Colfer

320. “The trust ‘is’ our there.” Diane corrected him. “But who wants the truth when they have something ‘better’ ti believe in? And with the world in the shape that’s in, who could blame them?”

— Chris Colfer

321. “She never imagined she would end the day with the future king himself, or that he might be someone worth staying for.”

— Chris Colfer

322. “Think of all the time you spent hating yourself! Think of all the days you lived in fear of being discovered! Think of all the people who told you it was wrong to be who you are! Think of how badly you wanted to change into someone else!”

— Chris Colfer

323. “It’d be nice if they needed their mother once in a while. Maybe I’d get to see them more often.”

— Chris Colfer

324. “Jealousy is just a reminder of the frustrations you have with yourself. Who has time to only concentrate on that?”

— Chris Colfer

325. “Who we are on the playground is who we are in life, and I’m done being a seeker. If someone wants to be my Troblin King, he’s just gonna have to find ME.”

— Chris Colfer

326. “I would like to take a moment to reiterate this: My mother sent her only daughter into the woods alone in the midst of wolf attacks and a revolution!”

— Chris Colfer

327. “I had 12 of my favorite portraits of me hung so we would have something pleasant to look at while we ate.”

— Chris Colfer

328. “There were many portraits of Queen Red hung around the library, but an especially large painting was hung over the fireplace of Red reading a book in one of the armchairs. The twins had to do a double take, because just below the portrait was the real Queen Red Riding Hood seated in an armchair reading a book in the identical position as in the portrait.”

— Chris Colfer

329. “The approving roar was so loud it actually knocked a man off the windowsill he sat on.”

— Chris Colfer

330. “That would be far easier than convincing a stubborn world to change its ways.”

— Chris Colfer

331. “I had to tell the school you both had chicken pox,” Charlotte, the twins’ mother, said. “I had to come up with a good excuse for why you had been gone for two weeks and thought ‘traveling in another dimension’ would probably raise a few eyebrows.”

— Chris Colfer

332. “He looked around at the world of the Ziblings as if he were seeing his own story for the first time.”

— Chris Colfer

333. “She remembered all the nights she had cried herself to sleep, all the days she had lived in fear, and all the nightmares in between. She remembered the angst of wanting a better life, the pain of unanswered prayers, and the suffocation of feeling stuck.”

— Chris Colfer

334. “Science 101,” Bolt said. “Nothing helps electricity move faster than metal, and you just sent your entire entourage into a steel structure.”

— Chris Colfer

335. “I know part of you still hates yourself for being different! Part of you still lives in fear of the truth! Part of you still believes you don’t deserve to exist! And part of you still believes you’ll never be loved for who you are! I know how you feel, because we all feel that way!”

— Chris Colfer

336. “Think about the night your father died!”

— Chris Colfer

337. “It’s an honor to meet you,” Auburn Sally told them. “You have very crafty children.” “Tell me about it,” Charlotte said.”

— Chris Colfer

338. “How do we get there?” Auburn Sally asked. “I hope it’s not by sailing in circles to the left.”

— Chris Colfer

339. “You know things are dull when the dead start wondering off.”

— Chris Colfer

340. “By the way, who is naming these people? Snow White is not a name, that’s a description! Cinderella is just cruel and Rapunzel sounds like something that happens to fruit when it’s left in the sun. Do famous people name their kids ridiculous things.”

— Chris Colfer

341. “The tigers on the ground dropped their jaws in unison. They had never seen their lunch float away in a giant balloon before.”

— Chris Colfer

342. “Paper came from trees, cars ran on gasoline, and caffeine was legal. It was practically the Dark Ages.”

— Chris Colfer

343. “The dream came true,” Grandma said. “And it had nothing to do with us. After years and years of being inspired by other dreamers, that person made their own dream come true and probably inspired countless others to do the same. We wouldn’t want to want to live in a world where no one believed in themselves enough to make their own dreams come true.”

— Chris Colfer

344. “A very wise man once told me that ‘courage is what makes a superhero super,’” Conner said. “He never said anything about succeeding.”

— Chris Colfer

345. “Conner gave Alex a dirty look.”

— Chris Colfer

346. “Is that the giant’s castle?” Alex asked. “I’m assuming,” Conner said. “Unless Mary Poppins moved into the neighborhood.”

— Chris Colfer

347. “There’s so much to be happy about, but lately, my mind only focuses on the bad stuff. There’s a voice in my head that constantly reminds me of my failures and gives me reasons to fear the future. Every effort feels pointless, every accomplishment feels temporary, and every bump in the road feels like the end of the world. No matter what I do, I can’t get it to stop. I’m worried I’m going to be miserable forever!”

— Chris Colfer

348. “The Rosary Chicken hadn’t moved from the deck of the Dolly Llama since the battle began, but as she watched the helpless fairy fall to her death, the chicken knew this was her moment to contribute. The Rosary Chicken plunged toward the jar, but just as she clutched the jar’s handle with her beak, the chicken suddenly remembered she couldn’t fly!”

— Chris Colfer

349. “It’s very important a monarch never reveal a pebble in their shoe, for their enemies may turn it into a boulder!”

— Chris Colfer

350. “She wasn’t going to waste any more time living in fear. She wasn’t going to spend another ounce of energy worrying. She was done with waiting and hoping.”

— Chris Colfer