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Top 200 Dana Gould Quotes (2024 Update)
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Dana Gould Quote: “Whenever someone starts a statement with, Let me tell you the kind of guy I am, that is a great time to start sawing your own head off.”

201. “Whenever someone starts a statement with, Let me tell you the kind of guy I am, that is a great time to start sawing your own head off.”

Dana Gould Quote: “The expression working like a dog dates back to a time in America when men would rise early, then lie around all day and lick their balls.”

202. “The expression working like a dog dates back to a time in America when men would rise early, then lie around all day and lick their balls.”

Dana Gould Quote: “I just staunchly bought one frame during a two-for-one frame sale and barely left the store alive.”

203. “I just staunchly bought one frame during a two-for-one frame sale and barely left the store alive.”

Dana Gould Quote: “Why is it, when I have nothing to do, I drink more coffee? It’s as if I’m in a big hurry to get nothing done.”

204. “Why is it, when I have nothing to do, I drink more coffee? It’s as if I’m in a big hurry to get nothing done.”

Dana Gould Quote: “I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I’ve swallowed.”

205. “I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I’ve swallowed.”

Dana Gould Quote: “Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?”

206. “Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?”

Dana Gould Quote: “When I was in high school, girls made fun of me for liking vampire movies. Now, I’d be their king. Time machine, where are you?”

207. “When I was in high school, girls made fun of me for liking vampire movies. Now, I’d be their king. Time machine, where are you?”

Dana Gould Quote: “I don’t really like myself, but I’m way into me, physically.”

208. “I don’t really like myself, but I’m way into me, physically.”

Dana Gould Quote: “I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it’s in the middle of another dog’s speech.”

209. “I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it’s in the middle of another dog’s speech.”

Dana Gould Quote: “Gorillas would be less scary with bunny ears. Actually, what isn’t less scary with bunny ears? Osama Bin Laden with bunny ears. Ha! So cute.”

210. “Gorillas would be less scary with bunny ears. Actually, what isn’t less scary with bunny ears? Osama Bin Laden with bunny ears. Ha! So cute.”

Dana Gould Quote: “The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn’t that what death is for? Trust me, we’re all gonna stop aging...”

211. “The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn’t that what death is for? Trust me, we’re all gonna stop aging...”

Dana Gould Quote: “Although I love the taste of Nutrageous bars, I am nutraged at their new, high price.”

212. “Although I love the taste of Nutrageous bars, I am nutraged at their new, high price.”

Dana Gould Quote: “In the midst of all the candy and commercialism, let’s not lose sight of the true meaning of Halloween: tree worship and animal sacrifice.”

213. “In the midst of all the candy and commercialism, let’s not lose sight of the true meaning of Halloween: tree worship and animal sacrifice.”

Dana Gould Quote: “The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.”

214. “The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.”

Dana Gould Quote: “That which does not kill you isn’t finished.”

215. “That which does not kill you isn’t finished.”

Dana Gould Quote: “As anyone who’s ever adopted a dog will tell you, there’s always the fear that one day the birth parents will come scratching at the door...”

216. “As anyone who’s ever adopted a dog will tell you, there’s always the fear that one day the birth parents will come scratching at the door...”

Dana Gould Quote: “Dogs – putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.”

217. “Dogs – putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.”

Dana Gould Quote: “I wanted to be a comedian. I wanted to meet waitresses and felt that being a comedian was my best way to go about it and I was right.”

218. “I wanted to be a comedian. I wanted to meet waitresses and felt that being a comedian was my best way to go about it and I was right.”

Dana Gould Quote: “The average permanent lasts about four months.”

219. “The average permanent lasts about four months.”

Dana Gould Quote: “For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.”

220. “For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.”

Dana Gould Quote: “Does anyone remember how we used to get cash before ATM’s? Did we have to go inside the bank? Then what? We lived like apes!”

221. “Does anyone remember how we used to get cash before ATM’s? Did we have to go inside the bank? Then what? We lived like apes!”

Motivational Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes

Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes

Positive Quotes

Positive Quotes

Albert Einstein Quotes

Albert Einstein Quotes

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Motivational Quotes

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Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes

Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes

ENTREPRENEURSHIP BUSINESS INSPIRATIONAL

Positive Quotes

Positive Quotes

Albert Einstein Quotes

Albert Einstein Quotes

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Steve Jobs Quotes

Steve Jobs Quotes

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Inspirational Quotes

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Swami Vivekananda Quotes

Swami Vivekananda Quotes

LIFE SPIRITUALITY

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