Top 180 Emma Chase Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “Did you know that if you put a frog in boiling water, he’ll jump out? But, if you put one in cold water and heat it slowly, he’ll stay in. And boil to death. He won’t even try to get out. He won’t even know he’s dying. Until it’s too late. Men are a lot like frogs.”

— Emma Chase

2. “I am a bad, bad boy. Think Kate will punish me if I tell her how bad I am?”

— Emma Chase

3. “Her name is Mackenzie. She’s got long blond hair and the biggest blue eyes you’ll ever see. She’s almost four. See her there? On the other end of the seesaw I’m currently riding.”

— Emma Chase

4. “Some battles don’t have a winner. Sometimes the best a good general can hope for is a ceasefire.”

— Emma Chase

5. “Women fall in love quicker than men. Easier and more often. But when guys fall? We go down harder. And when things go bad? When it’s not us who ends it? We don’t get to walk away. We crawl.”

— Emma Chase

6. “It’s simple guy logic: If a woman is angry? It means she cares. If you’re in a relationship and a chick can’t even be bothered to yell at you? You’re screwed. Indifference is a woman’s kiss of death. It’s the equivalent of a man not interested in sex. In either case – it’s over. You’re done.”

— Emma Chase

7. “I sleep naked, by the way. You should try it. If you haven’t slept naked, you haven’t lived. But that’s beside the point.”

— Emma Chase

8. “I don’t go to church. Not anymore. I’m a lot of things, but a hypocrite really isn’t one of them. If you’re not going to play by the rules, you don’t show up for team meetings.”

— Emma Chase

9. “Vaginas beat penises every time. They’re like kryptonite. Penises are defenseless against them.”

— Emma Chase

10. “For God’s sake, don’t let her watch Cinderella. What kind of example is that? A mindless twit who can’t even remember where she left her damn shoe, so she has to wait for some douchebag in tights to bring it to her? Give me a frigging break!”

— Emma Chase

11. “We’ll fight them from the hills, we’ll fight them in the trees. We’ll hunker down in the river and take them out, sniper-style. Save your ammo – fire only when you see the whites of their eyes. Use your heads.”

— Emma Chase

12. “Fine’s a funny word, don’t you think? I don’t think there’s another like it in the English language that says so much while actually saying so little.”

— Emma Chase

13. “I want to be a better man for you and because I love you so much, I actually believe I can be.”

— Emma Chase

14. “Rumors are like a dent from a sledgehammer – you can repair it, but it will never be as it was before.”

— Emma Chase

15. “Life is too damn short to stay safe, to stay the same.”

— Emma Chase

16. “I told you how I grew up. I never had to share my toys; I don’t plan on sharing my clients. Ask any four-year-old – sharing sucks.”

— Emma Chase

17. “My mother always told me, “Anyone worth doing, is worth doing well.” Okay, she didn’t actually say those exact words, but you get the picture.”

— Emma Chase

18. “Remember when I said all guys talk to their friends about sex? Well, we do. But no guy talks to his friends about sex with his girlfriend. Ever.”

— Emma Chase

19. “Newsflash, ladies: We can’t read your thoughts. And frankly, I’m not entirely sure I’d want to. The female mind is a scary place to be.”

— Emma Chase

20. “Flowers. Lots of women say they don’t want them. But every woman is happy when they get them. Which is why I’ve arranged to have them delivered to Kate’s office, every hour on the hour. Seven dozen at a time. That’s one dozen for every day we were apart.”

— Emma Chase

21. “I’ve gone cold turkey. Completely. I haven’t even jerked off. Not once. In nine frigging days. I think the buildup of semen is starting to affect my brain. Like sugar to a diabetic.”

— Emma Chase

22. “For a second, I’m stunned. She wanted this. Just as badly as I did. And I wasted all that time eating chicken Marsala – when I could have been eating her. God. Damn.”

— Emma Chase

23. “Whoever invented karaoke is evil. They should be shot between the eyes with a dull bullet.”

— Emma Chase

24. “You know I’m not a girl who cares to see Or gives a damn what anyone thinks of me I go down hard, I stand my ground But whenever you come around I’m helpless Baby, I don’t stand a chance.”

— Emma Chase

25. “If it’s not difficult, it’s not worth it.”

— Emma Chase

26. “Have you ever noticed some of the worst sicknesses in history have a lyrical sound to them? Words like malaria, diarrhea, cholera.”

— Emma Chase

27. “I feel so helpless When you look at me that way I’ll do anything for you Only for you.”

— Emma Chase

28. “A mother burying her child is the only thing that could make one truly long for death – if only for the sliver of hope that she might glimpse her child again.”

— Emma Chase

29. “Although my mind recognizes that Kate Brooks is now my rival, apparently my cock hasn’t gotten the memo.”

— Emma Chase

30. “Then I flip Kate the finger. Immature, I know, but apparently we’re now both functioning at the preschool level, so I’m guessing it’s okay. Kate sneers at me. Then she mouths, You wish. Well – she’s got me there, now doesn’t she?”

— Emma Chase

31. “After this? Heaven’s going to be a major disappointment.”

— Emma Chase

32. “I don’t stand a chance When you look at me that way I’ll do anything you want me to Anything for you And I’ll shout it for the whole world to know Oh, honey, that’s what you do to me And I don’t mind at all.”

— Emma Chase

33. “I burn for you, sweet girl. I dream of you, even when I’m awake.”

— Emma Chase

34. “I walked into my parents’ bedroom and called my Dad for help. And that’s when it hit me – staring at their empty room. He wasn’t there. He’d never be there again. I collapsed on the floor and sobbed like a baby. Over a jar of pickles.”

— Emma Chase

35. “Life changes us, with its twists and turns, in ways we don’t always see coming. It changes what we want, what we dream, lays blessings in our hands better than anything we could’ve imagined.”

— Emma Chase

36. “You are woven into my soul and you are wrapped around my heart.”

— Emma Chase

37. “The greatest skill the best athletes in the world possess is their ability to listen.”

— Emma Chase

38. “I don’t want to control her; I just want to keep her. Her gentle spirit, her kind loveliness has become the center of my world and I’m not sure I know how to function anymore without it.”

— Emma Chase

39. “She braces her hands on the table, leaning forward. And I have a whole new esteem for gravity – because it’s that force that causes her blouse to pull away from her body, giving me a delectable view of her stunning tits encased in delicate black lace.”

— Emma Chase

40. “Now, young Skywalker, your training is complete. Tonight – you become a Jedi.” – Drew Evans.”

— Emma Chase

41. “But quiet shouldn’t be mistaken for weak. Sometimes the most steely resolve is asserted silently.”

— Emma Chase

42. “I do forgive him. It’s just that easy. Because I understand now. And because I love him. My.”

— Emma Chase

43. “Kids are complicated little bastards.”

— Emma Chase

44. “If a guy who you just met at a club calls you baby, sweetheart, angel, or any other generic endearment? Don’t make the mistake of thinking he’s so into you, he’s already thinking up pet names. It’s because he can’t or doesn’t care to remember your actual name.”

— Emma Chase

45. “Don’t believe anything you hear, and only half of what you see.”

— Emma Chase

46. “The ride is the only thing that makes the fall worth it.”

— Emma Chase

47. “I’m getting married.”

— Emma Chase

48. “But words don’t work that way. Once heard, they can’t ever be taken back. All they can do is echo.”

— Emma Chase

49. “Yelling is a sign of desperation, an indication that you’re out of options, with nothing behind your back but volume.”

— Emma Chase

50. “I’ve never forgotten you, sweetheart. Not even close.”

— Emma Chase