Top 300 Fran Lebowitz Quotes (2024 Update)
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51. “Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.”

— Fran Lebowitz

52. “I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?”

— Fran Lebowitz

53. “Generally speaking, it is inhumane to detain a fleeting insight.”

— Fran Lebowitz

54. “I’m such a slow writer I have no need for anything as fast as a word processor. I don’t need anything so snappy. I write so slowly that I could write in my own blood without hurting myself.”

— Fran Lebowitz

55. “Tolerance is really a better thing than understanding. Because it doesn’t agitate against human nature.”

— Fran Lebowitz

56. “No one I knew talked about money. It’s not an area of interest.”

— Fran Lebowitz

57. “Sarcasm: what they have in New York instead of jacuzzis.”

— Fran Lebowitz

58. “I think writing for me has always been a matter of fear. Writing is fear and not writing is fear. I am afraid of writing and then I’m afraid of not writing.”

— Fran Lebowitz

59. “If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don’t love to write. That would be blissful.”

— Fran Lebowitz

60. “Instead of writing it wrong six times and then writing it right, I think it wrong six times and then write it right the seventh time.”

— Fran Lebowitz

61. “The first people who died of AIDS were artists. They were the most interesting people.”

— Fran Lebowitz

62. “If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.”

— Fran Lebowitz

63. “Never allow your child to call you by your first name. He hasn’t known you long enough.”

— Fran Lebowitz

64. “There’s too much democracy in the culture, not enough in the society.”

— Fran Lebowitz

65. “New Yorkers, we’ve seen Donald Trump for, like, 30 years; we know who he is. So he wasn’t a surprise to me.”

— Fran Lebowitz

66. “I’m sure that being sober all these years accounts for my ill humor.”

— Fran Lebowitz

67. “The effect of AIDS was like a war in a minute country. Like, in World War I, a whole generation of Englishmen died all at once. And with AIDS, a whole generation of gay men died practically all at once, within a couple of years.”

— Fran Lebowitz

68. “Take away a man’s actual sense of manhood – which is conventionally based on the ability to work, to earn money, to be self-sufficient, to provide for children – and you’ve got to give them something else. And they did.”

— Fran Lebowitz

69. “If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would pretty much be left with Let’s Make a Deal.”

— Fran Lebowitz

70. “If people don’t want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?”

— Fran Lebowitz

71. “Violet will be a good color for hair at just about the same time that brunette becomes a good color for flowers.”

— Fran Lebowitz

72. “I’m a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I’m great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic.”

— Fran Lebowitz

73. “When I was young, I liked romance. But to me, romance is the opposite of domestic life. I just don’t want anyone in the apartment, not for longer than a few hours.”

— Fran Lebowitz

74. “The Italians are the most civilized people. And they’re very warm. Basically, they’re Jews with great architecture.”

— Fran Lebowitz

75. “The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.”

— Fran Lebowitz

76. “Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling.”

— Fran Lebowitz

77. “When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.”

— Fran Lebowitz

78. “Los Angeles is a large city-like area surrounding the Beverly Hills Hotel.”

— Fran Lebowitz

79. “I hate all jobs. I’ve never had a job I liked.”

— Fran Lebowitz

80. “I love being in love. I don’t think anything compares with it, though I consider it very disruptive.”

— Fran Lebowitz

81. “I walk a lot in New York, not for the exercise but to get from place to place, and because it’s the way of having the least contact with human beings.”

— Fran Lebowitz

82. “Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.”

— Fran Lebowitz

83. “I woke up at five o’clock in the morning with the whole first paragraph in my head. Now, this just shows what a slothful person I am: I tried to go back to sleep.”

— Fran Lebowitz

84. “I hate, simply, to work. I just hate to work, period. I am profoundly slothful. Practically inert.”

— Fran Lebowitz

85. “A dog who thinks he is a man’s best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.”

— Fran Lebowitz

86. “Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.”

— Fran Lebowitz

87. “When you reach a certain age, suddenly there are lots of people younger than you, which is really startling.”

— Fran Lebowitz

88. “Children ask better questions than adults. “May I have a cookie?” “Why is the sky blue?” and “What does a cow say?” are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than “Where’s your manuscript?” “Why haven’t you called?” and “Who’s your lawyer?””

— Fran Lebowitz

89. “I have friends, some of whom are spectacularly good writers, who really want someone to edit them. I don’t register that impulse. It’s like the impulse for wanting a dog.”

— Fran Lebowitz

90. “Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don’t are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn’t put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a Lesbian.”

— Fran Lebowitz

91. “Children are rarely in the position to lend one a truly interesting sum of money. There are, however, exceptions, and such children are an excellent addition to any party.”

— Fran Lebowitz

92. “The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.”

— Fran Lebowitz

93. “All style is personal – that’s what distinguishes it from fashion.”

— Fran Lebowitz

94. “Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit.”

— Fran Lebowitz

95. “When I was young, boys didn’t type.”

— Fran Lebowitz

96. “Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.”

— Fran Lebowitz

97. “Rome is a very loony city in every respect. One needs but spend an hour or two there to realize that Fellini makes documentaries.”

— Fran Lebowitz

98. “By the time everyone catches up with you, you’re bored.”

— Fran Lebowitz

99. “Sleep is death without the responsibility.”

— Fran Lebowitz

100. “Do not have your child’s hair cut by a real hairdresser in a real hairdressing salon. He is, at this point, far too short to be exposed to contempt.”

— Fran Lebowitz