Top 380 Iyanla Vanzant Quotes (2025 Update)
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201. “I now understand that our life experiences come forth from our souls and that nothing really happens to us; it all happens for our benefit.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

202. “Comparison is an act of violence against the self. It also leads to judgments and jealousy of those we deem “better off” than we are. If we aren’t the ones doing the comparing, then we’re the ones against whom other women measure themselves. In either case, the comparison, judgments, and jealousy can lead to ugly behavior.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

203. “If you don’t like your sister or don’t get along with your father, let’s find out if you like yourself. Let’s not sugarcoat anything about it.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

204. “I must have decided wrongly, because I am not at peace.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

205. “You are never angry for the reason you think you are. There’s an older hurt under that.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

206. “The show is ‘Fix My Life!’ Get it? Life. I do not fix people.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

207. “Embrace the truth. Speak the truth. Be the truth. When we welcome the truth, we live our lives like it’s golden.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

208. “You must be willing to examine and explore your dark side. You must acknowledge how bad you can be and how horribly unloving you can behave. When you know how deep and dark your dark side is, it helps you stand a little taller in the light.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

209. “You are demonstrating to men that they can come back and get their kids. All of those fatherless sons and daddy-less daughters and the men who didn’t know how to go back, you are demonstrating to the world that they can.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

210. “I came from nothing. I came from the projects and welfare and ended up a millionaire with no frame of reference. I was bound to hit a wall sooner or later.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

211. “Choice is a divine teacher, for when we choose we learn that nothing is ever put in our path without a reason.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

212. “When you continue to give without receiving, the only thing you are proving is that you know how to be taken advantage of.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

213. “Forgive yourself for believing that youre anything less than beautiful.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

214. “This is probably one of the most difficult challenges any parent could face – learning to love the other parent enough to make the children first.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

215. “You know that you’ve healed an issue when you can talk about it and you’re not weeping, when you can speak to it and identify the lesson. You know that you’ve healed an issue when, having gone through that, has a benefit that you live today.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

216. “Gossip is when you have a malice of intent or mindless, third-party conversation to someone about someone, something you haven’t said to that someone.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

217. “What is it that would make a creature as fierce, majestic and powerful as a lion is, subject itself to the intimidation of a man a whip and a chair? The lion has been taught to forget what it is.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

218. “Abundance is a direct reflection of your preparation to live abundantly. People who are ready for abundance keep their heads up, their eyes open and give thanks for everything they get.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

219. “When your life is going downhill, it doesn’t get better just because you want it to. Nor can you will it to be better. Your life will only get better when you get better.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

220. “The beloved is one who nurtures you, trusts you, supports you, encourages you, loves you without conditions. That’s you.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

221. “Why do we hold onto negativity? For some reason, we believe that others are affected by our experience of remaining upset, hurt or angry. Holding on to pain, anger, guilt or shame is the glue that binds us to the situation we want to escape.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

222. “When do you feel most loved? Are you willing to be loved today? Self-love is the magnet that attracts deep and profound expressions of love from others.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

223. “Talk about your negative experiences with the father, with your girlfriends. Not with your children. And bite your tongue when it comes to diminishing, denying, dismissing, name-calling.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

224. “When you gossip, it’s self-hexing. Because when you do it, it comes back to you. Everything starts with the word. The word is demonstrating a condition of the mind. If it’s in your mind and comes out of your mouth, it will be created.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

225. “We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

226. “Till your mental soil with determination. Fertilize your emotional soil with positive words. And plant the seed of your heart’s desire with your disciplined efforts.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

227. “When someone entrusts their heart to you they are giving you a piece of their soul. You cannot treat the soul casually. You must protect, nurture and handle it with care.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

228. “When a thing has served its purpose, it will go away. If you try to hold on to something that has already fulfilled its purpose in your life, you are going to hurt yourself. If holding on is disturbing your peace of mind, it makes sense to let go. Surrender all attachments to people and things that you have been struggling to hold on to.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

229. “Some children do what they’re told to do; some children do what they’re told not to do; all children do what they’re parents have done.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

230. “My father never kissed me, hugged me or told me that he loved me. As my only living parent, he became the filter through which I saw myself, the possibilities for my life, the world and all men. He was a conflicted and dark filter.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

231. “Until you make peace with your difficult memories, that pain will continue to bleed into your current and future experiences.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

232. “Spirituality is not about what you know. It is about growing, deepening, evolving and becoming a living reflection of your spiritual identity.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

233. “I surround people in unconditional acceptance and love to such a degree that everything that is unloving about them rises to the surface.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

234. “You’re never healing the level you’re on. You’re always healing the level you came from. For example, you know things today that you didn’t know in your first marriage.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

235. “Healing is the application of love.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

236. “Father, let me remember You are here, surrounding me with Your everlasting Love, perfect peace, and joy. I pivot my attention to the natural dwelling place of my mind, my natural awareness. These are the thoughts that move and keep my mind safe in You, free of the ego’s ideas that hurt me. Let me remember You are here, and I am not alone.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

237. “Sooner or later, we must all accept the fact that in a relationship, the only person you are dealing with is yourself.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

238. “Regardless of how hard, challenging, frightening, or difficult an experience may seem, everything is just as it needs to be in order for us to heal, grow, and learn.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

239. “I have a daily message, ‘Stimumail,’ which I use to stimulate the mind and heart. I have the opportunity to touch over 60,000 people I have never met. I also use Twitter and Facebook.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

240. “If you should encounter angry or unkind actions today, take a deep breath, reach deep within and greet the lack of love with love.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

241. “From speaking with my mother I learned that forgiveness is a process that begins with the choice to end your own suffering.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

242. “The only energy that has any power in your life is the gift of breath from God.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

243. “We must learn not to give up when requirements are not met or when commitments are broken. To do so is a refusal to allow mistakes to be corrected and a demonstration of an unwillingness to forgive yourself or anyone else who needs forgiveness.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

244. “All relationships have the same basic components: people, needs, and expectations.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

245. “Everything we experience-no matter how unpleasant-comes into our lives to teach us something.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

246. “You’re demonstrating a courage that most people can’t even fathom: giving it all away in order to have yourself.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

247. “Unfortunately, it is normal to get stuck on the heartbreak, and in doing so miss the lessons.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

248. “Challenges come so we can grow and be prepared for things we are not equipped to handle now.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

249. “Faith without challenge is nothing.”

— Iyanla Vanzant

250. “What would it take for you to forget all your troubles? Are you willing to simply forget all your troubles today? When you remove your attention from a problem, it gets bored and moves away!”

— Iyanla Vanzant