Top 200 J.T. Geissinger Quotes (2024 Update)
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51. “Dying isn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. It’s just the only thing I won’t live through.”

— J.T. Geissinger

52. “Love is warm and deep and comfortable, just right, so you float in it peacefully without ever being scalded or frozen, like a perfect, relaxing bubble bath.”

— J.T. Geissinger

53. “Carbs are proof that God loves us, don’t you think?”

— J.T. Geissinger

54. “Men aren’t like us, baby. They’re dumb as doughnut holes when it comes to love.”

— J.T. Geissinger

55. “The noise I made when I collided with his chest was something so unladylike my mama would’ve pitched a hissy fit if she’d heard it. It was part grunt, part groan, and part something that sounded like it shot out of my butthole on a hot burst of air, excuse my French.”

— J.T. Geissinger

56. “Goddamn bossy men. I should start a women’s group for survivors of alpha males. There are probably millions of us worldwide, nursing bruised hopes, hearts, and uteruses.”

— J.T. Geissinger

57. “That’s a lot of tripping, Romeo. You need to see a doctor for your balance problem.”

— J.T. Geissinger

58. “No, I don’t believe in reincarnation. Or an afterlife, to be perfectly frank. I think this is as good as it gets, which is why it’s so important to make the best of this life. To confront our problems, to work through them, so ultimately we can be free of them and enjoy the time we have.”

— J.T. Geissinger

59. “We’re all dying, baby. It’s just a matter of when.”

— J.T. Geissinger

60. “Just feel me. Just feel me and breathe.”

— J.T. Geissinger

61. “Anyone that insults my country, my intelligence, my feminist ideals, all women in general, and a favorite childhood food, and refers to both himself and me in the third person in one sentence automatically gets an honorary spot on my Hate With Every Fiber of My Being For All Time list.”

— J.T. Geissinger

62. “Be ready to tell me everything you want me to do to you in bed.”

— J.T. Geissinger

63. “Your past is your own business. But you’re asking a lot if you expect me to take every strange thing you say on faith. Mystery is great. Mystery I can take, because mysteries eventually get solved. But secrets?” I shook my head. “I’m not so good with those. If we’re going to get closer, you’re going to have to let me in. That’s part of the deal.” Seeing.”

— J.T. Geissinger

64. “Two things you should know about me: one, I always get what I want. And two, I always plan ten steps ahead to get it.”

— J.T. Geissinger

65. “Even small dragons can still breathe fire.”

— J.T. Geissinger

66. “It’s not true love if you don’t want to kick his teeth in every once in a while.”

— J.T. Geissinger

67. “Is this going to be a thing?” I ask, my arms wound around his broad shoulders. “You carrying me around like a sack of potatoes?” “It makes me feel macho bein’ able to lift all this weight – ow!”

— J.T. Geissinger

68. “It’s incredible how many different people one body can hold. We all walk around with a thousand strangers inside us, slumbering quietly until someone else wakes them up. Like the jolt of electricity that reanimated Frankenstein’s monster, all it takes for our sleeping giants to jump to life is a single spark.”

— J.T. Geissinger

69. “Why do you sound like your cat just died?” My lips tug upward. It’s Parker. “I don’t own a cat.” His answering chuckle is deeply arousing. “I happen to know for a fact, Ms. Price, you own a beautiful pussycat.” My smile grows wider. “Oh? Do tell.” “Well, let’s just say she’s pretty high-maintenance and demanding, but if you stroke her exactly right, she’ll purr so loud, the neighbors will hear.”

— J.T. Geissinger

70. “I’m in danger here. Serious, imminent danger of being charmed senseless by a handsome artist who arouses in me the duelling urges to run away screaming or strip naked and fling myself onto his torso and cling there like a crab.”

— J.T. Geissinger

71. “I’d rather have the ugly truth than a beautiful lie.”

— J.T. Geissinger

72. “Let me in. Let me take care of you. Give me your trust, and I’ll give you the world. I’ll give you anything you ask for.”

— J.T. Geissinger

73. “She insulted the head of the Irish mafia so badly, he forgot to kill her.”

— J.T. Geissinger

74. “Then he says gruffly, “Please don’t freeze me out. Be angry all you want, but don’t shut down on me. I need you right now. I won’t be able to think straight if you don’t communicate with me.”

— J.T. Geissinger

75. “I reach up and stroke his beard, smiling. “You’re a psychopath.” “Don’t try to flirt your way out of this.” That makes me smile wider. “Only you would think a woman calling you a psychopath is flirting.”

— J.T. Geissinger

76. “In order to survive, the oppressed must learn the language of their oppressors. And guns are the only language certain men speak.”

— J.T. Geissinger

77. “Dressed in a black pair of men’s boxer shorts rolled over at the waist so they didn’t sag down her legs and a white men’s undershirt she must have found in one of the dresser drawers, with her choppy blue hair sticking up in every direction and her wild, glittering eyes, she looked like an insane, cross-dressing pixie.”

— J.T. Geissinger

78. “I’ve surprised him. I like that I’ve surprised him. He doesn’t seem like a man who’s taken aback by much of anything. “You don’t have a man, then.” Wow. How he managed to make that sound like, “Bend over the table and lift up your skirt,” I’ll never know. Carla was right: the man is fire.”

— J.T. Geissinger

79. “That’s the most important thing. Stand up to bullies. Even if you accomplish nothing else with your life, standing up to a bully is enough. Bravery is an end to itself. That’s what God or the universe or the sacred sparkle pony or whatever you call it wants. For us to learn to be brave and to do the right thing. In my humble opinion, that’s the real meaning of life.”

— J.T. Geissinger

80. “I’m gonna devour you, little bunny rabbit, piece by tasty piece. I’m going to eat. You. Up.”

— J.T. Geissinger

81. “By now I’ve mastered the art of noticing his bulge without looking directly at it, a Jedi-level skill.”

— J.T. Geissinger

82. “Just because trash can be recycled doesn’t mean you deserve another chance.”

— J.T. Geissinger

83. “Girl, what are friends for if you can’t count on them to help you move a body?”

— J.T. Geissinger

84. “Paradise isn’t a garden. It isn’t heaven, or some faraway, mythical place. Paradise is in the small, silent space between the faces of two lovers as they share their bodies and breath.”

— J.T. Geissinger

85. “Please be quiet. My inner demons are demanding that I kill you, and I want to hear what they have to say.”

— J.T. Geissinger

86. “Funny thing, isn’t it, hindsight? It’s memory, but with new understanding tacked on, so that the past means something different than it did before. And the only way to find that meaning is to look for it. Look to the past.”

— J.T. Geissinger

87. “I know this is hard for you to understand, B Cups, but the girls need air.” “What they need is scaffolding.” She arches her brows. “Are you suggesting my glorious cleavage is sagging?”

— J.T. Geissinger

88. “I’ll wait forever if I have to.” That’s it. There’s nothing else, except a signature scratched below the words. Dante.”

— J.T. Geissinger

89. “A woman is like a tea bag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. – Eleanor Roosevelt.”

— J.T. Geissinger

90. “The average woman exhibits more courage before lunch every day than a soldier does his entire career. The bravery of women is what built the entire world. You men just like to take credit for it.”

— J.T. Geissinger

91. “You’ve both got a lot of broken pieces. But if you give it a chance, you might find that all your broken pieces fit together perfectly to make a beautiful whole.”

— J.T. Geissinger

92. “And who are you?” “The only one of me who ever has been or ever will be. Same as you. In a word: irreplaceable.”

— J.T. Geissinger

93. “You’re the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard. Sassy goddamn woman. No one ever spoke to me.”

— J.T. Geissinger

94. “My smile makes her gnash her teeth. “Ready?” “Go to hell.” “Can’t. The devil has a restraining order against me.”

— J.T. Geissinger

95. “It’s dangerous, summoning old ghosts. You never know what they might want from you in return for digging them out of their graves.”

— J.T. Geissinger

96. “He has no idea what’s happening. Honestly, there’s nothing more adorable than a befuddled man. Especially when they’re huge and armed.”

— J.T. Geissinger

97. “Being nice is the worst thing a woman can be. Nice means you have to swallow your own feelings and focus on everyone else’s. Nice means you don’t speak up when you’re wronged. Nice means being a people pleaser and a conciliator and worrying yourself to death over others’ opinions. Nice means never getting what you really want.”

— J.T. Geissinger

98. “We skipped the dinner dates and polite conversation and jumped straight to kinky fuckery.”

— J.T. Geissinger

99. “Suffering is the great equalizer of humankind.”

— J.T. Geissinger

100. “I don’t have baggage so much as cargo. It takes a certain kind of self-confidence to take me on.”

— J.T. Geissinger