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Top 200 J.T. Geissinger Quotes (2026 Update)
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J.T. Geissinger Quote: “So the charity gala was to raise money for wounded veterans. I was surprised it wasn’t for something more superficial, like Billionaires Without Trophy Wives or the Southern Selfish Jerk Fund.”

201. “So the charity gala was to raise money for wounded veterans. I was surprised it wasn’t for something more superficial, like Billionaires Without Trophy Wives or the Southern Selfish Jerk Fund.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “I thought we were negotiating.” “We are.” “Then you can’t just keep saying the same number.” “Says who?” “Says me!” “Lucky for me, you’re not the one with the upper hand here.” I stare at him in outrage with my mouth hanging open. Then a strange thing happens: he smiles. “I just wanted to see what you’d do when I said that.” I’d like to run him over with my car. I say firmly, “Forty-five hundred.” “Ninety-nine-ninety-nine.” “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

202. “I thought we were negotiating.” “We are.” “Then you can’t just keep saying the same number.” “Says who?” “Says me!” “Lucky for me, you’re not the one with the upper hand here.” I stare at him in outrage with my mouth hanging open. Then a strange thing happens: he smiles. “I just wanted to see what you’d do when I said that.” I’d like to run him over with my car. I say firmly, “Forty-five hundred.” “Ninety-nine-ninety-nine.” “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “His voice goes rough. “Because once you’re in my bed, you’re mine. And that’s it. Once I have you, I’ll never let you go. Not even if you ask me to.” We stare at each other. After a moment, I say, “Wow. We haven’t even had our first date yet.”

203. “His voice goes rough. “Because once you’re in my bed, you’re mine. And that’s it. Once I have you, I’ll never let you go. Not even if you ask me to.” We stare at each other. After a moment, I say, “Wow. We haven’t even had our first date yet.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “I whisper, “For a guy who claims to be such a bad scary criminal, you’re a big softie.” “Only for you.”

204. “I whisper, “For a guy who claims to be such a bad scary criminal, you’re a big softie.” “Only for you.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Writing is different than speaking. It’s much harder to be coherent out loud than it is on paper.”

205. “Writing is different than speaking. It’s much harder to be coherent out loud than it is on paper.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “We’re not introverts. We’re misanthropes. Big difference.”

206. “We’re not introverts. We’re misanthropes. Big difference.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “How the hell does a twenty-something yoga instructor who barely scraped through college, has never had a long-term boyfriend, and looks like she buys her clothes at a Tinker Bell estate sale get so confident?”

207. “How the hell does a twenty-something yoga instructor who barely scraped through college, has never had a long-term boyfriend, and looks like she buys her clothes at a Tinker Bell estate sale get so confident?”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “If zombies ever take over, you’ll be safe.” “What do you mean?” “They only eat brains.”

208. “If zombies ever take over, you’ll be safe.” “What do you mean?” “They only eat brains.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Food is fuel, but it’s also comfort. The trouble happens when it becomes more comfort than fuel. But that’s what hugs are for.”

209. “Food is fuel, but it’s also comfort. The trouble happens when it becomes more comfort than fuel. But that’s what hugs are for.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Sweet little lamb,” he murmurs against my lips. “Hungry, aren’t you?” “Why do you have to ruin everything by talking?”

210. “Sweet little lamb,” he murmurs against my lips. “Hungry, aren’t you?” “Why do you have to ruin everything by talking?”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Cut me some slack! This is the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me. Which is saying something, considering I once accidentally joined a cult because they had really good tacos.”

211. “Cut me some slack! This is the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me. Which is saying something, considering I once accidentally joined a cult because they had really good tacos.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Lincoln and I were twins.”

212. “Lincoln and I were twins.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “You give me hope for manity.” “What the hell is manity?” “The male part of humanity.”

213. “You give me hope for manity.” “What the hell is manity?” “The male part of humanity.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “I throw my hands in the air. “I’m not invincible!” “So that deal you made with the devil for the power to kill with run-on sentences didn’t include immortality?”

214. “I throw my hands in the air. “I’m not invincible!” “So that deal you made with the devil for the power to kill with run-on sentences didn’t include immortality?”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “It’s worth it. No matter how bad it can get, no matter if it all falls apart in the end, it’s worth every minute.”

215. “It’s worth it. No matter how bad it can get, no matter if it all falls apart in the end, it’s worth every minute.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “I’m not good for you.” “So you’ve said. Wine and cheeseburgers aren’t good for me either, but they’re literally two of my favorite things.”

216. “I’m not good for you.” “So you’ve said. Wine and cheeseburgers aren’t good for me either, but they’re literally two of my favorite things.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Whatever it is you’re doin’, you better be sure. Take your time. Figure it out. But be sure. You owe it to yourself.”

217. “Whatever it is you’re doin’, you better be sure. Take your time. Figure it out. But be sure. You owe it to yourself.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Because the more time I spend with your woman, the less I want to give her back.”

218. “Because the more time I spend with your woman, the less I want to give her back.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “But most of all, love means sacrifice.”

219. “But most of all, love means sacrifice.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “You’re insane!” “We’ve already established that you’re the crazy one. I’m the monster, remember?”

220. “You’re insane!” “We’ve already established that you’re the crazy one. I’m the monster, remember?”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “I assume you’re aware of the definition of the word hypocrite? Because I’m thinking if we looked it up in the dictionary, your picture would be right next to it.”

221. “I assume you’re aware of the definition of the word hypocrite? Because I’m thinking if we looked it up in the dictionary, your picture would be right next to it.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Hey, bunny,” he says softly, his eyes shining with adoration. “Did you miss me?”

222. “Hey, bunny,” he says softly, his eyes shining with adoration. “Did you miss me?”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “The tragedy of it all is that I already know this man will ruin me, but even that isn’t enough to make me want to save myself. Now, I just want to jump into the flames and burn.”

223. “The tragedy of it all is that I already know this man will ruin me, but even that isn’t enough to make me want to save myself. Now, I just want to jump into the flames and burn.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Love is war, darlin’. Only thing in life worth sheddin’ blood over.”

224. “Love is war, darlin’. Only thing in life worth sheddin’ blood over.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Yeah, I tried group chanting with monks. I’ve tried everything. Grief sends people in desperate search of any kind of relief.”

225. “Yeah, I tried group chanting with monks. I’ve tried everything. Grief sends people in desperate search of any kind of relief.”

— J.T. Geissinger

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