Top 200 J.T. Geissinger Quotes (2024 Update)
Page 3 of 5

101. “I’ve surprised him. I like that I’ve surprised him. He doesn’t seem like a man who’s taken aback by much of anything. “You don’t have a man, then.” Wow. How he managed to make that sound like, “Bend over the table and lift up your skirt,” I’ll never know. Carla was right: the man is fire.”

— J.T. Geissinger

102. “Tell me what you’re thinking, baby.” “I’m thinking we’re a couple of lunatics.” That makes him chuckle. “Aye. But my crazy matches your crazy. That’s why it works.”

— J.T. Geissinger

103. “And who are you?” “The only one of me who ever has been or ever will be. Same as you. In a word: irreplaceable.”

— J.T. Geissinger

104. “My smile makes her gnash her teeth. “Ready?” “Go to hell.” “Can’t. The devil has a restraining order against me.”

— J.T. Geissinger

105. “I’ve learned that no matter how well you think you know yourself, you can still be surprised. You can’t control what moves you. The only thing in your control is the choice over whether or not you surrender to it.”

— J.T. Geissinger

106. “Love is solid. Constant. If you’re not careful, you might mistake it for bein’ boring because it’s so reliable. Love is warm and deep and comfortable, just right, so you float in it peacefully without ever being scalded or frozen, like a perfect, relaxing bubble bath.”

— J.T. Geissinger

107. “My point is that I’m aware of my shortcomings. Because I know I’m not perfect, I don’t expect other people to be perfect, either. The only thing I demand from anyone – whether they like me or not – is that they’re real. Whatever and whoever they are, they own it. They don’t make fuckin’ excuses. I hate excuses.”

— J.T. Geissinger

108. “I’m sorry I said that thing about burying the knife in your skull. I didn’t mean it.” “You did.” “Okay, that’s true. But I would’ve regretted it if I did. I would’ve cried really hard at your funeral.”

— J.T. Geissinger

109. “I pause, examining his expression. “Why are you so quiet?” “I don’t plan murder out loud.”

— J.T. Geissinger

110. “What we call memory is the intersection between imagination and fact. Memories are the stories we tell ourselves about the important events in our lives. In the telling, some details get lost, others embellished, until truth is closer to fiction.”

— J.T. Geissinger

111. “Maybe I don’t have to be perfect. Maybe having one person who thinks I am is enough. Maybe his belief in me can be the seed that takes root in the stubborn, self-loathing dirt of my mind and grows into a garden of self-acceptance.”

— J.T. Geissinger

112. “Sometimes my mind gets the best of me and fixates on how many shitloads are in a fuckton, but these are the kind of things my therapist sighs quietly at when I mention and looks down at her hands like she’s lost all hope of being useful to society, so I’ve never gotten a solid answer to that.”

— J.T. Geissinger

113. “I know this is hard for you to understand, B Cups, but the girls need air.” “What they need is scaffolding.” She arches her brows. “Are you suggesting my glorious cleavage is sagging?”

— J.T. Geissinger

114. “Hi, Homer. I’m Reyna. It’s nice to meet you. You look like an orphan’s idea of Christmas morning.”

— J.T. Geissinger

115. “And another thing. Learn to stop saying ‘Sorry,’ and say ‘Don’t interrupt me.’ Learn to say ‘No’ and ‘None of your business.’ Learn to be unapologetic for who you are and what you like and the opinions you hold. I.”

— J.T. Geissinger

116. “You’ve both got a lot of broken pieces. But if you give it a chance, you might find that all your broken pieces fit together perfectly to make a beautiful whole.”

— J.T. Geissinger

117. “You’re the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard. Sassy goddamn woman. No one ever spoke to me.”

— J.T. Geissinger

118. “Marriage is an institution built on white lies and denial. If husbands and wives started telling each other the truth all the time, the whole system would implode.”

— J.T. Geissinger

119. “It’s dangerous, summoning old ghosts. You never know what they might want from you in return for digging them out of their graves.”

— J.T. Geissinger

120. “He has no idea what’s happening. Honestly, there’s nothing more adorable than a befuddled man. Especially when they’re huge and armed.”

— J.T. Geissinger

121. “We skipped the dinner dates and polite conversation and jumped straight to kinky fuckery.”

— J.T. Geissinger

122. “I don’t have baggage so much as cargo. It takes a certain kind of self-confidence to take me on.”

— J.T. Geissinger

123. “It’s not inexplicable. I like you the way Newton liked gravity.” “I don’t know what you mean.”

— J.T. Geissinger

124. “He’s wrong about me not having feelings. I have all kinds of feelings. Anxiety. Fatigue. Low-level depression. An unshakeable melancholy paired with gentle despair. See? I’m not the emotional iceberg I get accused of being.”

— J.T. Geissinger

125. “I’m not a competitive eater, lass, you can’t expect me to shovel an entire pie down my throat in less than half an hour.”

— J.T. Geissinger

126. “You own me, Sloane. Every corner of my worthless black soul. Every piece of my corrupt black heart. You own it all, and you always will. I’m your slave, not the other way around. Never forget it.”

— J.T. Geissinger

127. “Dear God. The daughter of a Mafia don is having an affair with the Latino pool boy. We’re a telenovela.”

— J.T. Geissinger

128. “Before he got his ass kicked out of heaven, the devil was the most beautiful angel of all.”

— J.T. Geissinger

129. “Okay. You go first. Do you really think I look like a camel?’ “No. I think you look like Rockefeller Center at Christmas, Japan in cherry blossom season, and the thousand vivid shades of green in the wild moors of Northern Ireland, all rolled into one.”

— J.T. Geissinger

130. “I think sometimes it’s easier for a man to be the worst version of himself than to let the world keep breaking his heart.”

— J.T. Geissinger

131. “Whatever love asks of you must be given, no matter the price. And I’d gladly give what love asked of me a thousand times over. Even if I had to do it every day until the end of eternity, I’d slice open my own veins with a razor blade and happily bleed myself dry.”

— J.T. Geissinger

132. “Life is too short to miss out on anything, even if it’s pain.”

— J.T. Geissinger

133. “Love isn’t born of the flesh. It’s born of the spirit, and so can transcend the bonds of flesh, and life, and time. The poet Rumi said, ‘Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes around in another form.”

— J.T. Geissinger

134. “So this is love. What a nightmare.”

— J.T. Geissinger

135. “He winks at me. “Butt crack juice. Sourced fresh this mornin’.”

— J.T. Geissinger

136. “Don’t worry,” he says in a hard, dominant voice. “I’ll correct that bad behavior. I’ll correct it over and over again with the palm of my hand on your naked ass until you’re writhing on my lap and begging me to let you come.”

— J.T. Geissinger

137. “The more you try to believe in yourself, the more you actually do. Your mental self-talk is very powerful. You have to keep it positive.”

— J.T. Geissinger

138. “I tried to kick him under the table, but my legs were too short.”

— J.T. Geissinger

139. “I’m trying to find a fatal flaw for insurance.” “Insurance? Against what?” I open my mouth but stop myself before blurting, Against falling in love with you.”

— J.T. Geissinger

140. “Do not act as if you were going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over you. While you live, while it is in your power, do good.”

— J.T. Geissinger

141. “I sometimes wonder what will be left on my to-do list when I die.”

— J.T. Geissinger

142. “Men say they love a strong woman, right up until they meet one.”

— J.T. Geissinger

143. “The same can’t be said for my new client, who appears to have an angry goth porcupine nesting on top of his cranium. “Bed head” doesn’t even begin to cover it. It looks like his preferred hair styling method is sticking his head into a blender and setting it to puree.”

— J.T. Geissinger

144. “Shaking my head, I say, “I feel sorry for his mother. She should’ve swallowed instead.”

— J.T. Geissinger

145. “Or is that normal? I don’t know. I’ve never visited Emotionville before. So far, it’s quite confusing. I wish I had a map.”

— J.T. Geissinger

146. “Marriage is an institution built on white lies and denial.”

— J.T. Geissinger

147. “If I was never knocked down, I’d never have discovered the strength it took to stand back up. And to keep getting up after every future kick, knowing that I could.”

— J.T. Geissinger

148. “Kings have to move the pawns at their disposal. It’s just what kings do. As for the pawns, well, they might not have a king’s power, but they can still make themselves useful.”

— J.T. Geissinger

149. “Wrong. Trust is a decision. You can make it between breaths.”

— J.T. Geissinger

150. “I do have old-fashioned, inflexible ideas about gender roles. But trust me when I say that they’re all to your benefit. Now, will you let me open the door to the bloody bookshop for you, or will your wee feminist ego insist we arm wrestle over it?”

— J.T. Geissinger