Top 200 J.T. Geissinger Quotes (2026 Update)
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151. “I know this is hard for you to understand, B Cups, but the girls need air.” “What they need is scaffolding.” She arches her brows. “Are you suggesting my glorious cleavage is sagging?”

— J.T. Geissinger

152. “We skipped the dinner dates and polite conversation and jumped straight to kinky fuckery.”

— J.T. Geissinger

153. “Shaking my head, I say, “I feel sorry for his mother. She should’ve swallowed instead.”

— J.T. Geissinger

154. “I sometimes wonder what will be left on my to-do list when I die.”

— J.T. Geissinger

155. “I crucify myself over all the things I should’ve told Theo while I had the time. We always think we have enough of that precious commodity, until fate steps in and proves us wrong.”

— J.T. Geissinger

156. “So this is love. What a nightmare.”

— J.T. Geissinger

157. “He has no idea what’s happening. Honestly, there’s nothing more adorable than a befuddled man. Especially when they’re huge and armed.”

— J.T. Geissinger

158. “What are you doing?” I cry, panicking. “Taking my wife home.” He makes it sound as if a dungeon and a pair of shackles are in my immediate future.”

— J.T. Geissinger

159. “Wrong. Trust is a decision. You can make it between breaths.”

— J.T. Geissinger

160. “I’m trying to find a fatal flaw for insurance.” “Insurance? Against what?” I open my mouth but stop myself before blurting, Against falling in love with you.”

— J.T. Geissinger

161. “If I were looking at you like you were my next meal, you’d already be eaten.”

— J.T. Geissinger

162. “The same can’t be said for my new client, who appears to have an angry goth porcupine nesting on top of his cranium. “Bed head” doesn’t even begin to cover it. It looks like his preferred hair styling method is sticking his head into a blender and setting it to puree.”

— J.T. Geissinger

163. “I can’t wait to see his face. I also can’t wait to set it on fire and put it out with a hammer.”

— J.T. Geissinger

164. “I do have old-fashioned, inflexible ideas about gender roles. But trust me when I say that they’re all to your benefit. Now, will you let me open the door to the bloody bookshop for you, or will your wee feminist ego insist we arm wrestle over it?”

— J.T. Geissinger

165. “My heart in my throat and my soul flying, I whisper, “Ten carats? So tiny. God, you’re a cheapskate, gangster.” He hugs me, hard, kissing the top of my head, my earlobe, my neck. Into my ear he says softly, “Marry me.” Of course it had to be a command, not a question. My voice cracks when I answer. “Let me get a look at this tiny ring first. I’ll let you know in a minute.”

— J.T. Geissinger

166. “I make the best use of what’s in my power, and take the rest as it happens.”

— J.T. Geissinger

167. “But I’ll still be trying to scrub your face and your taste and your sweet voice from my mind fifty years from now, because I already know nothing else will ever be able to compare to you. Nothing and no one will ever come close.”

— J.T. Geissinger

168. “Now that is a man. My ovaries just fainted.” “Mine are doing the Macarena.”

— J.T. Geissinger

169. “Just before he died, my father asked me what I thought heaven was like. I told him heaven was a library that had a lot of comfortable chairs, good lighting, and every book ever written. If I lived here, I’d spend all my time in this room.”

— J.T. Geissinger

170. “You wear my ring. You sleep in my bed. You made a promise in front of witnesses to have and to hold me for the rest of your life. You chose me, Emery. And because you chose me, you own me, now and forever, come what may.”

— J.T. Geissinger

171. “He winks at me. “Butt crack juice. Sourced fresh this mornin’.”

— J.T. Geissinger

172. “I think sometimes it’s easier for a man to be the worst version of himself than to let the world keep breaking his heart.”

— J.T. Geissinger

173. “Hell is a state of mind, my dear. Reality is simply what we believe it to be. Each of us makes our own truths, even ghosts.”

— J.T. Geissinger

174. “As it turns out, that was the exact wrong thing to say. He regards me with entire cities burning to the ground in his eyes.”

— J.T. Geissinger

175. “No one can offer you proof of reality, not even Einstein himself. But just because it can’t be proven doesn’t mean the sun won’t rise tomorrow. It will.”

— J.T. Geissinger

176. “Don’t worry,” he says in a hard, dominant voice. “I’ll correct that bad behavior. I’ll correct it over and over again with the palm of my hand on your naked ass until you’re writhing on my lap and begging me to let you come.”

— J.T. Geissinger

177. “Life is too short to miss out on anything, even if it’s pain.”

— J.T. Geissinger

178. “I’m an addict, and he’s heroin, injected straight into my veins.”

— J.T. Geissinger

179. “His lip was curled. His eyes were narrowed. His nose was stuck so far up in the air, I wondered if he’d come in from the rain to avoid drowning.”

— J.T. Geissinger

180. “Whatever it is you’re doin’, you better be sure. Take your time. Figure it out. But be sure. You owe it to yourself.”

— J.T. Geissinger

181. “Because the more time I spend with your woman, the less I want to give her back.”

— J.T. Geissinger

182. “But most of all, love means sacrifice.”

— J.T. Geissinger

183. “You’re insane!” “We’ve already established that you’re the crazy one. I’m the monster, remember?”

— J.T. Geissinger

184. “I assume you’re aware of the definition of the word hypocrite? Because I’m thinking if we looked it up in the dictionary, your picture would be right next to it.”

— J.T. Geissinger

185. “Hey, bunny,” he says softly, his eyes shining with adoration. “Did you miss me?”

— J.T. Geissinger

186. “The tragedy of it all is that I already know this man will ruin me, but even that isn’t enough to make me want to save myself. Now, I just want to jump into the flames and burn.”

— J.T. Geissinger

187. “Love is war, darlin’. Only thing in life worth sheddin’ blood over.”

— J.T. Geissinger

188. “Yeah, I tried group chanting with monks. I’ve tried everything. Grief sends people in desperate search of any kind of relief.”

— J.T. Geissinger

189. “You’re the chaos. You’re the storm. You’re the one creating the high winds and choppy seas you have to navigate. You’re the source of everything that’s happening. In other words, you’re the one with the power.”

— J.T. Geissinger

190. “You can’t control what moves you. The only thing in your control is the choice over whether or not you surrender to it.”

— J.T. Geissinger

191. “Declan says, “Keep going, idiot. My knife hasn’t been bloodied in four days. One more day and it’ll be a record, and I can’t have that.”

— J.T. Geissinger

192. “It’s not inexplicable. I like you the way Newton liked gravity.” “I don’t know what you mean.” “Once he found it, everything else in the universe made sense.”

— J.T. Geissinger

193. “Love isn’t a nightmare. It’s a miracle. A blessing. It’s knowing you’re finally home.”

— J.T. Geissinger

194. “When I remain silent, he prompts, “Why aren’t you saying anything?” “I’m too busy patting myself on the back for how well I’m adjusting to being married to a psychopath. I’m not even crying or anything.”

— J.T. Geissinger

195. “Because she’s indestructible, like Styrofoam peanuts.”

— J.T. Geissinger

196. “And exactly what is it you think I need, Aidan?” “To forget everything so you can remember who you are again.”

— J.T. Geissinger

197. “Be careful what you wish for, baby. And if I ever say I love you, be afraid. Because my love isn’t soft. It isn’t pretty. It’s the monster hiding under your bed in the dark.”

— J.T. Geissinger

198. “It slowly dawned on me I knew the exact color of his eyes because I was staring into them. He stared right back at me with a look so charged I thought he might ignite me with it.”

— J.T. Geissinger

199. “Ah, lassie. If it were anyone else but family who made you cry like this, they’d already be in an ambulance.”

— J.T. Geissinger

200. “I hate to break it to you, Egozilla, but God isn’t like Tinkerbell. He doesn’t need you to believe in him to exist. Now get your cantankerous behind out of this car and follow me.”

— J.T. Geissinger