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Top 200 J.T. Geissinger Quotes (2026 Update)
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J.T. Geissinger Quote: “It’s dangerous, summoning old ghosts. You never know what they might want from you in return for digging them out of their graves.”

151. “It’s dangerous, summoning old ghosts. You never know what they might want from you in return for digging them out of their graves.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Sometimes my mind gets the best of me and fixates on how many shitloads are in a fuckton, but these are the kind of things my therapist sighs quietly at when I mention and looks down at her hands like she’s lost all hope of being useful to society, so I’ve never gotten a solid answer to that.”

152. “Sometimes my mind gets the best of me and fixates on how many shitloads are in a fuckton, but these are the kind of things my therapist sighs quietly at when I mention and looks down at her hands like she’s lost all hope of being useful to society, so I’ve never gotten a solid answer to that.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “She says, “My idea of a mob boss is that they put contracts out on their enemies, and run drug, weapons, and prostitution rings. Is that what you do?” Her gaze is unflinching. I feel a warm flicker of pride. She really will make an excellent attorney. “No.” She stares at me, weighing the truth of my answer. “I feel like this might be a semantics issue. Let me rephrase. Is that what you have other people do for you?”

153. “She says, “My idea of a mob boss is that they put contracts out on their enemies, and run drug, weapons, and prostitution rings. Is that what you do?” Her gaze is unflinching. I feel a warm flicker of pride. She really will make an excellent attorney. “No.” She stares at me, weighing the truth of my answer. “I feel like this might be a semantics issue. Let me rephrase. Is that what you have other people do for you?”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Maybe I don’t have to be perfect. Maybe having one person who thinks I am is enough. Maybe his belief in me can be the seed that takes root in the stubborn, self-loathing dirt of my mind and grows into a garden of self-acceptance.”

154. “Maybe I don’t have to be perfect. Maybe having one person who thinks I am is enough. Maybe his belief in me can be the seed that takes root in the stubborn, self-loathing dirt of my mind and grows into a garden of self-acceptance.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Hi, Homer. I’m Reyna. It’s nice to meet you. You look like an orphan’s idea of Christmas morning.”

155. “Hi, Homer. I’m Reyna. It’s nice to meet you. You look like an orphan’s idea of Christmas morning.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “And I can’t lose her. If ever I do, I’ll burn the whole world to the ground before following her into the dark.”

156. “And I can’t lose her. If ever I do, I’ll burn the whole world to the ground before following her into the dark.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Kage?” “Yes, baby?” Baby. I’m dead. “Tell me your last name.”

157. “Kage?” “Yes, baby?” Baby. I’m dead. “Tell me your last name.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “I know this is hard for you to understand, B Cups, but the girls need air.” “What they need is scaffolding.” She arches her brows. “Are you suggesting my glorious cleavage is sagging?”

158. “I know this is hard for you to understand, B Cups, but the girls need air.” “What they need is scaffolding.” She arches her brows. “Are you suggesting my glorious cleavage is sagging?”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “We skipped the dinner dates and polite conversation and jumped straight to kinky fuckery.”

159. “We skipped the dinner dates and polite conversation and jumped straight to kinky fuckery.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Shaking my head, I say, “I feel sorry for his mother. She should’ve swallowed instead.”

160. “Shaking my head, I say, “I feel sorry for his mother. She should’ve swallowed instead.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “You never have to be afraid of anything again. If you have a problem, I’ll fix it. If you need something, I’ll give it to you. If anyone bothers you, I’ll make them wish they hadn’t. Whatever you want or need, you tell me, and you’ll have it. You’re mine now.”

161. “You never have to be afraid of anything again. If you have a problem, I’ll fix it. If you need something, I’ll give it to you. If anyone bothers you, I’ll make them wish they hadn’t. Whatever you want or need, you tell me, and you’ll have it. You’re mine now.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Life is too short to miss out on anything, even if it’s pain.”

162. “Life is too short to miss out on anything, even if it’s pain.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “I’m an addict, and he’s heroin, injected straight into my veins.”

163. “I’m an addict, and he’s heroin, injected straight into my veins.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “His lip was curled. His eyes were narrowed. His nose was stuck so far up in the air, I wondered if he’d come in from the rain to avoid drowning.”

164. “His lip was curled. His eyes were narrowed. His nose was stuck so far up in the air, I wondered if he’d come in from the rain to avoid drowning.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “What are you doing?” I cry, panicking. “Taking my wife home.” He makes it sound as if a dungeon and a pair of shackles are in my immediate future.”

165. “What are you doing?” I cry, panicking. “Taking my wife home.” He makes it sound as if a dungeon and a pair of shackles are in my immediate future.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “I’m trying to find a fatal flaw for insurance.” “Insurance? Against what?” I open my mouth but stop myself before blurting, Against falling in love with you.”

166. “I’m trying to find a fatal flaw for insurance.” “Insurance? Against what?” I open my mouth but stop myself before blurting, Against falling in love with you.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “If I were looking at you like you were my next meal, you’d already be eaten.”

167. “If I were looking at you like you were my next meal, you’d already be eaten.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “When I remain silent, he prompts, “Why aren’t you saying anything?” “I’m too busy patting myself on the back for how well I’m adjusting to being married to a psychopath. I’m not even crying or anything.”

168. “When I remain silent, he prompts, “Why aren’t you saying anything?” “I’m too busy patting myself on the back for how well I’m adjusting to being married to a psychopath. I’m not even crying or anything.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “The same can’t be said for my new client, who appears to have an angry goth porcupine nesting on top of his cranium. “Bed head” doesn’t even begin to cover it. It looks like his preferred hair styling method is sticking his head into a blender and setting it to puree.”

169. “The same can’t be said for my new client, who appears to have an angry goth porcupine nesting on top of his cranium. “Bed head” doesn’t even begin to cover it. It looks like his preferred hair styling method is sticking his head into a blender and setting it to puree.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Because she’s indestructible, like Styrofoam peanuts.”

170. “Because she’s indestructible, like Styrofoam peanuts.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “I can’t wait to see his face. I also can’t wait to set it on fire and put it out with a hammer.”

171. “I can’t wait to see his face. I also can’t wait to set it on fire and put it out with a hammer.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “I hate to break it to you, Egozilla, but God isn’t like Tinkerbell. He doesn’t need you to believe in him to exist. Now get your cantankerous behind out of this car and follow me.”

172. “I hate to break it to you, Egozilla, but God isn’t like Tinkerbell. He doesn’t need you to believe in him to exist. Now get your cantankerous behind out of this car and follow me.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “I do have old-fashioned, inflexible ideas about gender roles. But trust me when I say that they’re all to your benefit. Now, will you let me open the door to the bloody bookshop for you, or will your wee feminist ego insist we arm wrestle over it?”

173. “I do have old-fashioned, inflexible ideas about gender roles. But trust me when I say that they’re all to your benefit. Now, will you let me open the door to the bloody bookshop for you, or will your wee feminist ego insist we arm wrestle over it?”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “My heart in my throat and my soul flying, I whisper, “Ten carats? So tiny. God, you’re a cheapskate, gangster.” He hugs me, hard, kissing the top of my head, my earlobe, my neck. Into my ear he says softly, “Marry me.” Of course it had to be a command, not a question. My voice cracks when I answer. “Let me get a look at this tiny ring first. I’ll let you know in a minute.”

174. “My heart in my throat and my soul flying, I whisper, “Ten carats? So tiny. God, you’re a cheapskate, gangster.” He hugs me, hard, kissing the top of my head, my earlobe, my neck. Into my ear he says softly, “Marry me.” Of course it had to be a command, not a question. My voice cracks when I answer. “Let me get a look at this tiny ring first. I’ll let you know in a minute.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “I make the best use of what’s in my power, and take the rest as it happens.”

175. “I make the best use of what’s in my power, and take the rest as it happens.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Tell me what I need to hear.” I whisper, “I’m yours. I’m in love with you. You have my whole heart.”

176. “Tell me what I need to hear.” I whisper, “I’m yours. I’m in love with you. You have my whole heart.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “But I’ll still be trying to scrub your face and your taste and your sweet voice from my mind fifty years from now, because I already know nothing else will ever be able to compare to you. Nothing and no one will ever come close.”

177. “But I’ll still be trying to scrub your face and your taste and your sweet voice from my mind fifty years from now, because I already know nothing else will ever be able to compare to you. Nothing and no one will ever come close.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Now that is a man. My ovaries just fainted.” “Mine are doing the Macarena.”

178. “Now that is a man. My ovaries just fainted.” “Mine are doing the Macarena.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Just before he died, my father asked me what I thought heaven was like. I told him heaven was a library that had a lot of comfortable chairs, good lighting, and every book ever written. If I lived here, I’d spend all my time in this room.”

179. “Just before he died, my father asked me what I thought heaven was like. I told him heaven was a library that had a lot of comfortable chairs, good lighting, and every book ever written. If I lived here, I’d spend all my time in this room.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “You wear my ring. You sleep in my bed. You made a promise in front of witnesses to have and to hold me for the rest of your life. You chose me, Emery. And because you chose me, you own me, now and forever, come what may.”

180. “You wear my ring. You sleep in my bed. You made a promise in front of witnesses to have and to hold me for the rest of your life. You chose me, Emery. And because you chose me, you own me, now and forever, come what may.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Nico pressed his cheek to mine. His heart pounded frantically in his chest. “If you wanna call what you feel for me ‘hate,’ then I hate you, too, baby. I hate you with my whole heart.”

181. “Nico pressed his cheek to mine. His heart pounded frantically in his chest. “If you wanna call what you feel for me ‘hate,’ then I hate you, too, baby. I hate you with my whole heart.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “It must be such a relief to be so unburdened by logic.”

182. “It must be such a relief to be so unburdened by logic.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “He winks at me. “Butt crack juice. Sourced fresh this mornin’.”

183. “He winks at me. “Butt crack juice. Sourced fresh this mornin’.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “I think sometimes it’s easier for a man to be the worst version of himself than to let the world keep breaking his heart.”

184. “I think sometimes it’s easier for a man to be the worst version of himself than to let the world keep breaking his heart.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Hell is a state of mind, my dear. Reality is simply what we believe it to be. Each of us makes our own truths, even ghosts.”

185. “Hell is a state of mind, my dear. Reality is simply what we believe it to be. Each of us makes our own truths, even ghosts.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “As it turns out, that was the exact wrong thing to say. He regards me with entire cities burning to the ground in his eyes.”

186. “As it turns out, that was the exact wrong thing to say. He regards me with entire cities burning to the ground in his eyes.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “No one can offer you proof of reality, not even Einstein himself. But just because it can’t be proven doesn’t mean the sun won’t rise tomorrow. It will.”

187. “No one can offer you proof of reality, not even Einstein himself. But just because it can’t be proven doesn’t mean the sun won’t rise tomorrow. It will.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Don’t worry,” he says in a hard, dominant voice. “I’ll correct that bad behavior. I’ll correct it over and over again with the palm of my hand on your naked ass until you’re writhing on my lap and begging me to let you come.”

188. “Don’t worry,” he says in a hard, dominant voice. “I’ll correct that bad behavior. I’ll correct it over and over again with the palm of my hand on your naked ass until you’re writhing on my lap and begging me to let you come.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Every day I’m without you, I die.”

189. “Every day I’m without you, I die.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “I throw my hands in the air. “I’m not invincible!” “So that deal you made with the devil for the power to kill with run-on sentences didn’t include immortality?”

190. “I throw my hands in the air. “I’m not invincible!” “So that deal you made with the devil for the power to kill with run-on sentences didn’t include immortality?”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “It’s worth it. No matter how bad it can get, no matter if it all falls apart in the end, it’s worth every minute.”

191. “It’s worth it. No matter how bad it can get, no matter if it all falls apart in the end, it’s worth every minute.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “I’m not good for you.” “So you’ve said. Wine and cheeseburgers aren’t good for me either, but they’re literally two of my favorite things.”

192. “I’m not good for you.” “So you’ve said. Wine and cheeseburgers aren’t good for me either, but they’re literally two of my favorite things.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Whatever it is you’re doin’, you better be sure. Take your time. Figure it out. But be sure. You owe it to yourself.”

193. “Whatever it is you’re doin’, you better be sure. Take your time. Figure it out. But be sure. You owe it to yourself.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Because the more time I spend with your woman, the less I want to give her back.”

194. “Because the more time I spend with your woman, the less I want to give her back.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “But most of all, love means sacrifice.”

195. “But most of all, love means sacrifice.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “You’re insane!” “We’ve already established that you’re the crazy one. I’m the monster, remember?”

196. “You’re insane!” “We’ve already established that you’re the crazy one. I’m the monster, remember?”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “I assume you’re aware of the definition of the word hypocrite? Because I’m thinking if we looked it up in the dictionary, your picture would be right next to it.”

197. “I assume you’re aware of the definition of the word hypocrite? Because I’m thinking if we looked it up in the dictionary, your picture would be right next to it.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Hey, bunny,” he says softly, his eyes shining with adoration. “Did you miss me?”

198. “Hey, bunny,” he says softly, his eyes shining with adoration. “Did you miss me?”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “The tragedy of it all is that I already know this man will ruin me, but even that isn’t enough to make me want to save myself. Now, I just want to jump into the flames and burn.”

199. “The tragedy of it all is that I already know this man will ruin me, but even that isn’t enough to make me want to save myself. Now, I just want to jump into the flames and burn.”

— J.T. Geissinger

J.T. Geissinger Quote: “Love is war, darlin’. Only thing in life worth sheddin’ blood over.”

200. “Love is war, darlin’. Only thing in life worth sheddin’ blood over.”

— J.T. Geissinger

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