Top 180 Jeff Foxworthy Quotes (2024 Update)
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51. “You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

52. “You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

53. “You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

54. “Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother – you’re not sure what you’ve got but you’re pretty sure you’re not going to like it.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

55. “You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

56. “Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

57. “I’m an outdoor nut. If I’m not working, I’m on a tractor on my farm, hunting, fishing or climbing a mountain.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

58. “You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

59. “There’s no down time any more.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

60. “You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

61. “If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

62. “You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

63. “You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y’all Doin’?”

— Jeff Foxworthy

64. “You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

65. “You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

66. “You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

67. “You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

68. “You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

69. “Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?”

— Jeff Foxworthy

70. “Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that’s a bonus, and if you don’t, you still won’t hate going to work.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

71. “My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

72. “You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

73. “You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they’ve got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

74. “You might be a redneck if it’s easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

75. “If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

76. “You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

77. “You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

78. “Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?”

— Jeff Foxworthy

79. “You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

80. “If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

81. “A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, ‘I’m just dating my sister and couldn’t swear that it wasn’t a weather balloon.’”

— Jeff Foxworthy

82. “Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

83. “You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs ’round over yonder, back’ah Bubba’s barn...”

— Jeff Foxworthy

84. “You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy’s current wife in high school.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

85. “You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

86. “You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave’em in the shade.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

87. “As an individual, as a household, you can’t spend more money than you’re bringing in. You can do it for a little while, but you end up going broke and you end up losing everything you have. That is the path that we’re on as a country, and it scares me to death.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

88. “You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

89. “I love comedy. God has given me this platform.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

90. “The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn’t really make me mad any more.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

91. “You find out that all this stuff you’ve accumulated, you could care less about it. It’s just the relationships that matter.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

92. “You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

93. “Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they’ll spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

94. “Please don’t get me wrong here. I’m not making fun of old people. In fact I think that’s the goal of everybody here tonite. We all want to be an old person someday.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

95. “If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren’t juicy.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

96. “If you’re a redneck, you have that blood flowing through your veins. That’s almost on the bucket list, to hear Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Freebird” live.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

97. “My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

98. “I’ll just have itchy, watery eyes!”

— Jeff Foxworthy

99. “You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

100. “You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.”

— Jeff Foxworthy