Top 180 Jeff Foxworthy Quotes (2024 Update)
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151. “I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don’t want to give two or three more hours away.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

152. “You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

153. “Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn’t tell their therapist.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

154. “Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

155. “What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

156. “I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn’t do it because I read the script.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

157. “Hell, when I was in high school, a drive-by shooting meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!”

— Jeff Foxworthy

158. “The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He’s got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

159. “Thank God I’m at that point in my career where I don’t have to take stuff that I don’t really want to do.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

160. “I’m having my house repainted and we have a piano in the corner and the painter says, Is that y’all’s piano? I said, No, that’s our coffee table; it just has buck teeth. Here’s Your Sign.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

161. “You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job – primer red and primer gray.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

162. “You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

163. “You might be a redneck if you’ve ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

164. “For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life’s list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

165. “There’s a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can go and what they can buy.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

166. “If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

167. “I had to perform at the White House for the president, That’s always kind of a weird set to try to put together.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

168. “You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

169. “In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

170. “I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it’s kind of an acknowledgment that you’ve been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

171. “You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

172. “You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

173. “I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don’t know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn’t have to be a big one.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

174. “I think for one thing, kids are a lot smarter now then we ever were.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

175. “You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

176. “I’ve been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

177. “You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

178. “I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

179. “You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

180. “I’ve gotten to the point I won’t even watch the 11 o’clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

181. “When I did the sitcom I was too naive. I thought, Well, they know what they’re talking about, let’s do that.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

182. “Comics don’t usually have very long careers, and I’m 22 years into this.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

183. “People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I’m very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

184. “You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

185. “All these years I’ve sat in airports and kind of drawn people and put like Far Side captions on them.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

186. “We probably stagnate our children’s emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

187. “I was talking to Alan Jackson. He had his second Greatest Hits album. He said, You don’t ever get into this really thinking you’re gonna make it.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

188. “You might be a redneck if you’re moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

189. “As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don’t have the benefit of visual things.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

190. “I really don’t require a whole lot in life.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

191. “Little girls love dolls. They just don’t love dolls clothes.”

— Jeff Foxworthy

192. “It’s hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.”

— Jeff Foxworthy