Top 300 Kresley Cole Quotes (2026 Update)

1. “When you can’t change your situation, you must change yourself.”

— Kresley Cole

2. “You are so naive, it physically aggrieves me.”

— Kresley Cole

3. “Let’s put the fun back in funeral!”

— Kresley Cole

4. “In other words, the square root of fuckall is fuckall.”

— Kresley Cole

5. “I got nothing. Even the spies I’m spying on who are spying on other spies got nothing.”

— Kresley Cole

6. “If this is wrong, I don’t want to be right.”

— Kresley Cole

7. “Fate has a way of getting what she wants, no matter how we try to avoid it.”

— Kresley Cole

8. “So, you’ve got an evil sorceress chained up in your bed, then?”

— Kresley Cole

9. “This food is one hundred percent not drugged because I couldn’t find any drugs.”

— Kresley Cole

10. “The bottom line is, insults only hurt when they come from someone I respect.”

— Kresley Cole

11. “I have an idea. Let’s take off our clothes and fool around on the settee. If I trip and fall and land smack-dab on your cock, then it won’t be your fault.”

— Kresley Cole

12. “The beauty calms the beast?”

— Kresley Cole

13. “Those who betray me only do so once.”

— Kresley Cole

14. “He’s got more red flags than Soviet Russia.”

— Kresley Cole

15. “No kids for me. Would you really bring children into a world like this?” Eyes alight with playfulness, he said, “No. It was just an excuse to get in your pants.”

— Kresley Cole

16. “It’ll only hurt for a second. Promise...”

— Kresley Cole

17. “People think happiness will simply fall into their laps. You have to aspire to it. And sometimes you have to seize it when it’s kicking and screaming.”

— Kresley Cole

18. “We fail; we learn. Unless we fail to learn.”

— Kresley Cole

19. “I take no actions that I wouldn’t publicly recount. If you can’t speak your deeds, then don’t do them.”

— Kresley Cole

20. “Two tears in a bucket; motherfuck it.”

— Kresley Cole

21. “Yes, Morgana was stronger. Yes, the queen had packed one hell of a persuasive punch. But love would triumph.”

— Kresley Cole

22. “If you became mine, I wouldn’t let you go.” His words were clipped, as if he was biting back frenzy. “Understand me, if I’m your first lover – I will be your last.” The ringing tone of finality chilled me. “And I would kill any man who thought to touch what was mine.”

— Kresley Cole

23. “So, what do you do, Ellie?” he asked. Well, previously, I held a position on death row, but lately I’ve been a vampire’s plaything. Soon I’ll be sacrificed so the Soul Reaper and the Enemy of Old can make babies.”

— Kresley Cole

24. “Your big finish is rolling in like a thunderstorm. No stopping it.”

— Kresley Cole

25. “Rub some dirt on it. S’ll be fine.” “Rub some dirt, then?” he repeated, unable to keep the amusement from his tone. “I like your attitude, lass.”

— Kresley Cole

26. “Your future refuses to behave.”

— Kresley Cole

27. “He jerked back. “What is this? Be like you were with me the other times! When you melted for me.” “That was before I fully understood what a nasty piece of work you are.” “Because of a few shifter beheadings? Come on, Lizvetta, it’s not as if I went around cock-slapping gnomes.” Her jaw dropped.”

— Kresley Cole

28. “So what are you going to do about Brandon’s hymen safari?”

— Kresley Cole

29. “Now, undress for me and let me see what’s mine.”

— Kresley Cole

30. “Stealing money from humans is rewarding both financially and spiritually.”

— Kresley Cole

31. “You wouldn’t recognize a good thing if it was spanking your ass.”

— Kresley Cole

32. “It made you happy, to be used by me?” Perhaps not so promising. I raised my brows with amusement. “I orgasmed three times; you did once. Who’s using whom, Siberian?”

— Kresley Cole

33. “Sabine gave a Scoff. ” I could be virtuous, if I wanted to be.” In an incredulous tone, he said, “You don’t know the meaning of virtue!” “Of course I do – it means your thong must be white.”

— Kresley Cole

34. “I like a guy with passion. When you finished back there, I couldn’t tell if you’d gotten your nut or muffled a sneeze.”

— Kresley Cole

35. “He was so domineering. And a dirty talker. Apparently, she liked both. A lot.”

— Kresley Cole

36. “Death wants to gank me. Must be Tuesday.”

— Kresley Cole

37. “Love spells are a lot like platform diving. Once you start the process, there’s no going back, and the end will be fugly if you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. – Mariketa the Awaited Mercenary of the Wiccae, Future Leader of the House of Witches Witches are good for one thing and only one thing. Tinder. – Bowen Graeme MacRieve Third in line for the Lykae throne.”

— Kresley Cole

38. “The soothsayer shrugged, flustering her bat. “Some details are above your feygrade.”

— Kresley Cole

39. “You’ve been a bad little mortal.”

— Kresley Cole

40. “Past tense. It’s one thing to like a girl who wants another guy. It’s another to like a girl who plans to murder you at a time of her convenience.”

— Kresley Cole

41. “Way to hurt my feelings, Wroth. She sniffled. Now I’ll really have to kill you.”

— Kresley Cole

42. “Love spells are a lot like platform diving. Once you start the process, there’s no going back, and the end will be fugly if you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. – Mariketa the Awaited Mercenary of the Wiccae, Future Leader of the House of Witches.”

— Kresley Cole

43. “I often help others discover the outer limits of their hatred. It’s a talent of mine.”

— Kresley Cole

44. “When I get free, I believe I’ll show you your spine. I’ll hand it to you so casually, politely even, as if expecting you to remark upon it.”

— Kresley Cole

45. “Witches are good for one thing and only one thing. Tinder. – Bowen Graeme MacRieve Third in line for the Lykae throne.”

— Kresley Cole

46. “Do you want a man in your bed?” he murmured, his thumb stroking higher until he found the silk she wore. He hissed in a breath. “Fine!” she said in a strangled tone. “I’ll tell you. I do want one. But it’ll never be you.” “Why no’ me?” “I-I’ve heard about your kind. I know that you get mindless and savage, scratching and biting like animals.” “What’s wrong with that?”

— Kresley Cole

47. “And speaking of females, if I call you by one’s name while my fangs are plunged deep in your neck, just run with it.”

— Kresley Cole

48. “If you want to reach something badly enough, you will.”

— Kresley Cole

49. “I think I just fell into like with him.”

— Kresley Cole

50. “Not even going to discuss this. I’m going to stay in my gold house and sleep on my gold bed and ski down my piles of gold like Scrooge McDuck.”

— Kresley Cole