Top 300 Mindy Kaling Quotes (2024 Update)
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101. “Playful arguments would become fits of uncontrollable laughter, and, like magic, that experience would be crystallized into a private joke, and the private joke would get boiled down to a simple phrase, which became a souvenir of the entire experience. For years to come, the phrase alone could uncork hours of renewed laughter. And as everyone knows, the best kind of laughter is laughter born of a shared memory.”

— Mindy Kaling

102. “There Has Ceased to Be a Difference Between My Awake Clothes and My Asleep Clothes.”

— Mindy Kaling

103. “With my friends, the sad truth is that our best “best friend” days are behind us. In college, we used to be able to meet each other in the common area of our off-campus housing, excited about our evening ahead, which consisted of someone making an enormous tureen of pasta and drinking wine from a box while we took turns regaling each other with details of our terrible love lives.”

— Mindy Kaling

104. “I just want ambitious teenagers to know it is totally fine to be quite, observant kids. Besides being a delight to your parents, you will find you have plenty of time later to catch up.”

— Mindy Kaling

105. “People who are good at stand-up, they sort of seem to have to do it. Something within them makes them have to go on the road.”

— Mindy Kaling

106. “Fast food is hugely important in the life of a comedy writer. All we do is order in, and what we’re going to eat is hotly debated.”

— Mindy Kaling

107. “I’m giving a lot of opinions, but I don’t give any advice. I’m 31 and I’m not married and having kids. I’m five-foot-three. I weigh, like, 150 pounds and I’m not in this position to be telling people how to live.”

— Mindy Kaling

108. “I was kind of unfriendly and suspicious of everyone around me. I didn’t talk until I was about 15. It’s a kind of famous story at my house.”

— Mindy Kaling

109. “I initially thought you were ugly, but then you walked closer to me and I realized you were pretty.”

— Mindy Kaling

110. “I’m Adorable. I Look like Keira Knightley Running Errands!”

— Mindy Kaling

111. “The Tweets that I have written that are most popular are the ones that are the kind of universal girly concerns and observations.”

— Mindy Kaling

112. “Directing is exhausting, but not for the actual directing part, when you say “Action!” and give creative notes. As a director, the exhausting part is that you are a professional answer-machine.”

— Mindy Kaling

113. “Growing up, I remember my parents feeling a little wary of ‘The Simpsons.’ This was the late eighties, and there was a wave of articles about TV shows that were bad for America. Then we all started watching it and loved it.”

— Mindy Kaling

114. “I liked hanging out with my family! Later, when you’re grown up, you realize you never get to hang out with your family. You pretty much have only eighteen years to spend with them full time, and that’s it. So, yeah, it all added up to a happy, memorable time. Even though I was never a star.”

— Mindy Kaling

115. “For heaven’s sake, if you don’t know someone’s name, just pretend you do. Do that thing everyone else does, where you vaguely say, “Nice to see you!” and make weak eye contact.”

— Mindy Kaling

116. “My parents were supportive of my creativity but did not have a lot of patience for whimsy with zero production value. They had stuff to do.”

— Mindy Kaling

117. “I have a whole system down for returning online shopping: a tape gun, a printer for return labels. That has replaced traditional window shopping in my life, as I’ve gotten busier.”

— Mindy Kaling

118. “A remarkable thing about me is that the time that elapses between a sad thought and a flood of tears is three or four seconds.”

— Mindy Kaling

119. “Even in my revenge fantasy where all I do is exercise, I can still do only twenty-five pull-ups. Pull-ups are tough, no joke.”

— Mindy Kaling

120. “Colored leather is my favorite. To me, there’s nothing more fun than wearing a cobalt blue leather skirt or a fuchsia leather jacket.”

— Mindy Kaling

121. “It’s weird when you feel your dream slipping away from you. Especially when you have no other dreams.”

— Mindy Kaling

122. “I just have my characters say my controversial opinions and then hide behind them.”

— Mindy Kaling

123. “Teenage girls, please don’t worry about being super popular in high school, or being the best actress in high school, or the best athlete. Not only do people not care about any of that the second you graduate, but when you get older, if you reference your successes in high school too much, it actually makes you look kind of pitiful, like some babbling old Tennessee Williams character with nothing else going on in her current life.”

— Mindy Kaling

124. “If it weren’t for my imagination, I would weigh ten thousand pounds. This is because the only way I am able to exercise anymore is through a long and vivid revenge fantasy.”

— Mindy Kaling

125. “Bribes and boy bands. That’s all you need to be a babysitter.”

— Mindy Kaling

126. “I have such a rich fantasy life, I can’t help it. I do make up a lot of romantic stories in my head.”

— Mindy Kaling

127. “When you are entitled, you are the most insufferable person ever. If you are entitled and hardworking, which I am, you are still pretty insufferable, but at least you somewhat earned your entitled behavior.”

— Mindy Kaling

128. “I’m not into red carpet looks where it’s clear the woman wanted to look like a pretty, pretty princess.”

— Mindy Kaling

129. “Maybe the point is that any marriage is work, but you may as well pick work that you like.”

— Mindy Kaling

130. “My understanding of the way sex scenes work is that you’re surrounded by crew, and you’re cold, and you have to do it eight times ’cause they didn’t get the lighting. It doesn’t sound pleasant, but you think that actors actually enjoy it?”

— Mindy Kaling

131. “My dad’s whole family is in Madras and I was born in America so we didn’t have that big Indian community. I don’t really have anything interesting to say about it. When I talk about it people are like, ‘meh, let’s talk about something else.’”

— Mindy Kaling

132. “My dad is a very snappy dresser; he gets all his stuff tailored. He’s an architect, so he’s a little more artistically minded.”

— Mindy Kaling

133. “Sometimes a story just needs an ending, and I used to not be a creative enough person to think of an ending to a romantic story that isn’t a wedding or a death. This story didn’t end in fireworks, because the truth is, fireworks are something from my twenties. I could have made fireworks, but I chose to make a nuanced memory of a person who is neither a hero nor a villain in my life. All I had to do now was move on.”

— Mindy Kaling

134. “I am a super-confident writer, and as a joke writer and as an actress, I’m like, ‘I want to go head-to-head with every person.’ I am an Indian woman and I’m a kind of double minority in this world.”

— Mindy Kaling

135. “I’m the kind of person who becomes silent when I get scared, because I hope Death will not notice me if I am very still and very quiet. It has worked well so far.”

— Mindy Kaling

136. “Always Wear Flats and Have Your Friends Sleep Over: A Step-by-Step How-To Guide for Avoiding Getting Murdered.”

— Mindy Kaling

137. “When smart people are nice, it’s always terrifying, because I know they’re taking in everything and thinking all kinds of smart and potentially judgmental things.”

— Mindy Kaling

138. “The funniest racism is the racism between minorities. It’s something you don’t see dramatized, but almost every minority I know who’s my age, they have these funny stories about their parents stereotyping other minorities.”

— Mindy Kaling

139. “Everyone should try to live their life like they’d like to be a role model.”

— Mindy Kaling

140. “So I’m into men now, even though they can be frightening. I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, non-Velcro-shoe-wearing man.”

— Mindy Kaling

141. “I know a lot of people think of me and they like, oh that girl is really sexy, that girl is really put together, she would never do something as unladylike as a beet eating competition.”

— Mindy Kaling

142. “Future hipsters will love me ironically.”

— Mindy Kaling

143. “The truth is, it’s hard to get people to like you, but it’s even harder to keep people liking you.”

— Mindy Kaling

144. “This ethereal weirdo abounds in movies, but nowhere else. If she were from real life, people would think she was a homeless woman and would cross the street to avoid her, but she is essential to the male fantasy that even if a guy is boring, he deserves a woman who will find him fascinating and pull him out of himself by forcing him to go skinny-dipping in a stranger’s pool. THE.”

— Mindy Kaling

145. “Your girlfriend’s sibling or parents might be totally nuts, but always defend them. Always. All a girl wants to do is to get along with her family and if you are on the side of making it easy, you will be loved eternally. It might be easier to condemn them – especially if she’s doing that already – but, remarkably, even if they are murderers, she will find the good in them, especially if you start trashing them.”

— Mindy Kaling

146. “Almost every college playwright or sketch or improv comedian was sort of aware of Christopher Durang – even kids in high school. His short plays were so accessible to younger people and I think that was inspirational to me.”

— Mindy Kaling

147. “I think as humans, no one remembers their successes, everyone just remembers their failures.”

— Mindy Kaling

148. “In terms of my Indianness, I try not to rely on it nor deny it. When it comes up organically in my writing, we can address it. About five years ago, we wrote this episode of ‘The Office,’ called ‘Diwali,’ which seemed like an organic way of using it.”

— Mindy Kaling

149. “This book will take you two days to read. Did you even see the cover? It’s mostly pink. If you’re reading this book every night for months, something is not right.”

— Mindy Kaling

150. “Everyone has a moment when they discover they love Amy Poehler.”

— Mindy Kaling