Top 300 Mindy Kaling Quotes (2024 Update)
Page 6 of 7

251. “Um, Mindy is much less like Elizabeth Bennet than she is a combination of Carrie Bradshaw and Eric Cartman.”

— Mindy Kaling

252. “I especially like eavesdropping on women my age. Besides being titillating, it also helps me gauge where I’m at in comparison.”

— Mindy Kaling

253. “That’s why every doctor on TV is a drug addict, a sociopath, or just plain mega-rude. Doctors can do anything they want!”

— Mindy Kaling

254. “Cat Hats: Sixteen Paper Hats to Put on Your Unsuspecting Kitty.”

— Mindy Kaling

255. “No matter how good you have it, it’s cool to want more.”

— Mindy Kaling

256. “Comedy writers have the most fragile egos.”

— Mindy Kaling

257. “My mother is more of an adviser. I followed everything she did when I was younger, because I looked up to her so much.”

— Mindy Kaling

258. “What? I have a cold. Don’t get a look of terror on your face. The worst that could happen is that you’ll get a cold, too. You don’t have to theatrically Purell a thousand times a day and look all panicky every time I come into the room.”

— Mindy Kaling

259. “To have a complete outfit designed, for me, is easier than trying to find pieces that work together.”

— Mindy Kaling

260. “I didn’t completely forget how to be nice or feminine because I have a career.”

— Mindy Kaling

261. “I am the kind of person that is drawn to colors against my will.”

— Mindy Kaling

262. “It was finally clear. The reason I’m Kind of Hindu and will raise my daughter to be Kind of Hindu is to have this connection deep inside my own heart to other people who look like us and have shared key experiences, thousands of miles away. I don’t have to be full-on religious, and I doubt I’ll ever be knowledgeable enough to satisfy her or my curiosity about our faith, but I’m really going to try.”

— Mindy Kaling

263. “What I’ve noticed is that almost no one who was a big star in high school is also big star later in life. For us overlooked kids, it’s so wonderfully fair.”

— Mindy Kaling

264. “I’ve enjoyed an endless supply of free paper, paperclips, envelopes, and office supplies since joining The Office, because I steal props on a regular basis.”

— Mindy Kaling

265. “There are many teenage vampire books you could have purchased instead. I’m grateful you made this choice.”

— Mindy Kaling

266. “If you’re a kid who was not especially a star in your high school, I recommend going to a college in the middle of nowhere. I got all the attention I could ever have wanted.”

— Mindy Kaling

267. “Truthfully, I guess I would like to be remembered as a great writer and a kind person. I wouldn’t mind if an expensive bag were named after me, like Jane Birkin.”

— Mindy Kaling

268. “Besides, who wants to read about success, anyway? Successful serial murderers, maybe.”

— Mindy Kaling

269. “That’s the one nice thing about being a dork about men: you can sometimes play it off as restrained and classy.”

— Mindy Kaling

270. “Like every heterosexual woman and gay man in the country, I think James Franco is a very mysterious and sexy weirdo and I’d like to be invited to do a love scene with him in one of his art house movies.”

— Mindy Kaling

271. “On ‘The Office,’ so much of the show is about disguising your true feelings and your romantic feelings because it was a mock documentary.”

— Mindy Kaling

272. “The truth is, if I were going to lose weight successfully, I would have to think about what I eat constantly. I cannot imagine a life more boring and a more time-consuming obsession than being preoccupied with watching what I eat. I mean, maybe being in a coma would be more boring, but at least then you’re free to dream about all of your favorite foods. And the fact of the matter is, I don’t have that much brain space to use thinking about it.”

— Mindy Kaling

273. “I am telling you, the key to looking gorgeous is to never sit up straight. It implies you have not eaten enough to have the strength to sit like a regular person, which historically is sexy to everyone.”

— Mindy Kaling

274. “Throwing a tantrum feels good because you think you are ruining everyone’s good time when you feel your very worst. But the truth is, you’re not ruining their good time, you’re just giving them another good story.”

— Mindy Kaling

275. “As a kid, I was curious but not remotely adventurous, if that makes sense.”

— Mindy Kaling

276. “Is Dwight really like that in real life?” to which I respond: “Oh, no, Rainn isn’t like Dwight. Dwight is an angel next to Rainn. Rainn is a demon.”

— Mindy Kaling

277. “The problem was I didn’t want just anyone’s company. I wanted the company of funny, smart, like-minded people. That’s when I realized something about myself: I would rather be lonely than bored.”

— Mindy Kaling

278. “I guess I’m the kind of person who likes to be part of something so much that I won’t care if the something is bad.”

— Mindy Kaling

279. “Another old saying is that revenge is a dish best served cold. But it feels best served piping hot, straight out of the oven of outrage. My opinion? Take care of revenge right away. Push, shove, scratch that person while they’re still within arm’s reach. Don’t let them get away! Who knows when you’ll get this opportunity again?”

— Mindy Kaling

280. “Playful arguments would become fits of uncontrollable laughter, and, like magic, that experience would be crystallized into a private joke, and the private joke would get boiled down to a simple phrase, which became a.”

— Mindy Kaling

281. “Why is everyone trying to tell me that when you get older it gets better?”

— Mindy Kaling

282. “I’m a smart enough person to know that I don’t want everyone to be cookie-cutter versions of the nine guys who wear Converse sneakers.”

— Mindy Kaling

283. “I am the kind of person who, if my feelings are unrequited, can completely detach from someone emotionally if I simply put my mind to it.”

— Mindy Kaling

284. “I laugh thinking about if they ever tried to do “Who Wore It Best?” for men’s magazines. They wouldn’t, because no one would care. Men don’t care which men looked better in the same clothes because it’s so obviously a huge waste of time. It’s also why they don’t have astrology sections in men’s magazines.”

— Mindy Kaling

285. “If you’re Natalie Dormer, you can take big fashion risks and shave half your head, and it looks good. If you’re a normal person and you try that, you just look like you had recent brain surgery.”

— Mindy Kaling

286. “I just sometimes get the sneaking suspicion that corporations are co-opting “girl confidence” language to rally girls into buying body wash. Be careful.”

— Mindy Kaling

287. “I love diet soda; when I drink juice or regular soda it makes my blood sugar spike and I act like a cracked out Rachael Ray, but without the helpful household tips.”

— Mindy Kaling

288. “Die in a good way, obviously.”

— Mindy Kaling

289. “I think it’s a federal crime parking meters won’t accept pennies. Yeah, government, we know pennies suck. But you made them! You have to accept them! Parking meters are literally one of the three things anyone uses coins for and you decide you don’t want to deal with them?”

— Mindy Kaling

290. “I’ve found that a well-fitting padded bra can transform me from a pear-shaped woman to an hourglass-shaped woman. Okay, maybe not hourglass-shaped, but definitely, say, an egg-timer-shaped woman.”

— Mindy Kaling

291. “One good thing about New York is that most people function daily while in a low-grade depression. It’s not like if you’re in Los Angeles, where everyone’s so actively working on cheerfulness and mental and physical health that if they sense you’re down, they shun you. Also, all that sunshine is a cruel joke when you’re depressed. In New York, even in your misery, you feel like you belong.”

— Mindy Kaling

292. “We will never come home to each other again and we will never again have each other’s undivided attention. That version of our friendship is over forever.”

— Mindy Kaling

293. “I’m someone who loves romance. I always have loved it. Most people who grew up as nerds, as I was, surprisingly, have loved romance.”

— Mindy Kaling

294. “When most people sing karaoke, they think of themselves as contestants on American Idol, and they sing and perform their hearts out. But I really think people should be thinking of themselves more as temporary DJs for the party. It’s kind of a responsibility. It’s up to you to sing a kick-ass upbeat song that sets the mood for your friends to have fun, drink, and pick up girls and guys.”

— Mindy Kaling

295. “I can’t for the life of me not eat something that I want to eat. You know how if you turned on a faucet in your sink to wash your hands, the idea of leaving the bathroom without turning it off is insane? That’s how I am about ignoring delicious food.”

— Mindy Kaling

296. “It’s been proven that writers are funnier when they are demoralized.”

— Mindy Kaling

297. “I’ve always loved clothes. Like any normal woman, I would see a dress, buy it, rip the tags off with my teeth, save the buttons for ten to twelve years in a drawer, and wear it to work.”

— Mindy Kaling

298. “I don’t read them; I just hit “accept.” iTunes may own my ovaries, for all I know.”

— Mindy Kaling

299. “I am slightly offended by the way busy working women my age are presented in film. I’m not, like, always barking orders into my hands-free phone device and telling people constantly, “I have no time for this!” I didn’t completely forget how to be nice and feminine because I have a career.”

— Mindy Kaling

300. “Asking your friend to be a bridesmaid is one of the modern paradoxes: no one actually wants to do it, but everyone would be offended if you didn’t ask.”

— Mindy Kaling