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Ogden Nash Quotes

Ogden Nash Quote: “Time is like the ocean, always there, always different.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Time is so old and love so brief, love is pure gold and time a thief. We’re late, darling, we’re late, The curtain descends, everything ends, too soon, too soon.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Here lies my past, Goodbye I have kissed it; Thank you kids, I wouldn’t have missed it.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “The dog is man’s best friend. He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Some hate broccoli, some hate bacon I hate having my picture taken. How can your family claim to love you And then demand a picture of you?”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Tonight’s December thirty-first, something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it’s midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year!”
Ogden Nash Quote: “God in His wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “A jolly young fellow from Yuma Told an elephant joke to a puma; now his skeleton lies beneath hot western skies- the puma had no sense of huma.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Middle age ends and senescence begins, the day your descendant’s outnumber your friends.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Middle-age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Progress might have been all right once, but it’s gone on too long.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Shake and shake The catsup bottle. None will come, And then a lot’ll.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Only the gamefish swims upstream, But the sensible fish swims down.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Here’s a good rule of thumb; too clever is dumb.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Wind is caused by the trees waving their branches.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “The old men know when an old man dies.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Beneath this slab John Brown is stowed. He watched the ads, And not the road.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!”
Ogden Nash Quote: “The turtle lives ’twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “This is my dream, It is my own dream, I dreamt it. I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “If you don’t want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “The reason for much matrimony is patrimony.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven’t what they want that they don’t want it.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “The codfish is a staple food For which I’m seldom in the mood. This fish is such an utter loss That people eat it with egg sauce.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody’s reach, And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “When there are monsters there are miracles.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Humor is the best means of surviving in a difficult world.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won’t buy, but it’s very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money?”
Ogden Nash Quote: “Basketball, a game which won’t be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “I test my bath before I sit, And I’m always moved to wonderment That what chills the finger not a bit Is so frigid upon the fundament.”
Ogden Nash Quote: “I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He’s a lush and she’s a shrew.”
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