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“I enjoy watching a woman with really bad teeth and a good sense of humor struggling to use her lips and tongue to hide her teeth when she’s laughing. I just stand there and tell her joke after joke after joke.”

— George Carlin

Featured in: George Carlin Quotes

George Carlin Quote: “I enjoy watching a woman with really bad teeth and a good sense of humor struggling to use her lips and tongue to hide her teeth when she’s laughing. I just stand there and tell her joke after joke after joke.”

“I enjoy watching a woman with really bad teeth and a good sense of humor struggling to use her lips and tongue to hide her teeth when she’s laughing. I just stand there and tell her joke after joke after joke.”

— George Carlin

George Carlin Quote: “I enjoy watching a woman with really bad teeth and a good sense of humor struggling to use her lips and tongue to hide her teeth when she’s laughing. I just stand there and tell her joke after joke after joke.”

George Carlin Quote: “I enjoy watching a woman with really bad teeth and a good sense of humor struggling to use her lips and tongue to hide her teeth when she’s laughing. I just stand there and tell her joke after joke after joke.”

George Carlin Quote: “I enjoy watching a woman with really bad teeth and a good sense of humor struggling to use her lips and tongue to hide her teeth when she’s laughing. I just stand there and tell her joke after joke after joke.”

George Carlin Quote: “I enjoy watching a woman with really bad teeth and a good sense of humor struggling to use her lips and tongue to hide her teeth when she’s laughing. I just stand there and tell her joke after joke after joke.”

George Carlin Quote: “I enjoy watching a woman with really bad teeth and a good sense of humor struggling to use her lips and tongue to hide her teeth when she’s laughing. I just stand there and tell her joke after joke after joke.”

George Carlin Quote: “I enjoy watching a woman with really bad teeth and a good sense of humor struggling to use her lips and tongue to hide her teeth when she’s laughing. I just stand there and tell her joke after joke after joke.”

George Carlin Quote: “I enjoy watching a woman with really bad teeth and a good sense of humor struggling to use her lips and tongue to hide her teeth when she’s laughing. I just stand there and tell her joke after joke after joke.”

George Carlin Quote: “I enjoy watching a woman with really bad teeth and a good sense of humor struggling to use her lips and tongue to hide her teeth when she’s laughing. I just stand there and tell her joke after joke after joke.”

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1. “A ship is always safe at the shore, but that is not what it is built for.”

— Albert Einstein

Featured in: Risk-Taking Quotes

2. “You never fail until you stop trying.”

— Albert Einstein

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3. “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”

— Albert Einstein

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4. “Time is an illusion.”

— Albert Einstein

5. “Creativity is intelligence having fun.”

— Albert Einstein

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6. “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

— Albert Einstein

7. “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”

— Albert Einstein

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8. “A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.”

— Albert Einstein

9. “Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.”

— Albert Einstein

10. “Logic will get you from A to Z. Imagination will get you everywhere.”

— Albert Einstein

11. “Any fool can know. The point is to understand.”

— Albert Einstein

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12. “In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”

— Albert Einstein

13. “I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.”

— Albert Einstein

14. “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”

— Albert Einstein

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15. “Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.”

— Albert Einstein

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16. “The mind that opens to a new idea never returns to its original size.”

— Albert Einstein

17. “I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be.”

— Albert Einstein

18. “Common sense is what tells us the earth is flat.”

— Albert Einstein

19. “Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I am not yet completely sure about the universe.”

— Albert Einstein

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20. “Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.”

— Albert Einstein

21. “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”

— Albert Einstein

22. “It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer.”

— Albert Einstein

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23. “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

— Albert Einstein

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24. “Genius is 1% talent and 99% percent hard work.”

— Albert Einstein

25. “Nothing happens until something moves.”

— Albert Einstein

26. “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”

— Albert Einstein

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27. “Never memorize something that you can look up.”

— Albert Einstein

28. “Imagination is more important than knowledge.”

— Albert Einstein

Featured in: Knowledge Quotes

29. “Out of clutter, find simplicity.”

— Albert Einstein

30. “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

— Albert Einstein

31. “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”

— Albert Einstein

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32. “The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.”

— Albert Einstein

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33. “I'd rather be an optimist and a fool than a pessimist and right.”

— Albert Einstein

34. “Everything must be made as simple as possible. But not simpler.”

— Albert Einstein

35. “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?”

— Albert Einstein

36. “Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.”

— Albert Einstein

37. “A student is not a container you have to fill, but a torch you have to light up.”

— Albert Einstein

38. “Black holes are where God divided by zero.”

— Albert Einstein

39. “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”

— Albert Einstein

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40. “Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.”

— Albert Einstein

Featured in: Creativity Quotes

41. “If I had an hour to solve a problem I’d spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.”

— Albert Einstein

42. “If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.”

— Albert Einstein

43. “Weak people revenge. Strong people forgive. Intelligent people ignore.”

— Albert Einstein

Featured in: Strong Quotes, Intelligent Quotes

44. “The only sure way to avoid making mistakes is to have no new ideas.”

— Albert Einstein

45. “The only thing that you absolutely have to know is the location of the library.”

— Albert Einstein

46. “Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”

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47. “If you can’t explain it to a six year old, you don’t understand it yourself.”

— Albert Einstein

48. “Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”

— Albert Einstein

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49. “If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.”

— Albert Einstein

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50. “When you trip over love, it is easy to get up. But when you fall in love, it is impossible to stand again.”

— Albert Einstein

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