Top 160 Silly Quotes

1. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.”

— Zig Ziglar

Also featured in: Motivational Quotes, Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes, Funny Quotes, Action Quotes

2. “Don’t Panic.”

— Douglas Adams

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Interesting Quotes, Crazy Quotes

3. “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”

— Charles M. Schulz

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Love Quotes, Sweet Quotes, Humor Quotes

4. “Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.”

— Oscar Wilde

Also featured in: Life Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Clever Quotes

5. “Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.”

— Douglas Adams

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Crazy Quotes

6. “I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.”

— Steven Wright

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Funny Work Quotes, Humor Quotes

7. “So long, and thanks for all the fish.”

— Douglas Adams

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Crazy Quotes

8. “I’ve wrestled with alligators, I’ve tussled with a whale. I done handcuffed lightning and thrown thunder in jail. You know I’m bad. Just last week, I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalized a brick. I’m so mean, I make medicine sick.”

— Muhammad Ali

Also featured in: Quotes About Strength, Funny Quotes, Confidence Quotes, Action Quotes

9. “Excuses don’t burn calories.”

— Anonymous

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Discipline Quotes, Effort Quotes

10. “It ain't over till it's over.”

— Yogi Berra

Also featured in: Persistence Quotes, Athlete Quotes, Giving Up Quotes, Motivational Workout Quotes

11. “If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”

— Steven Wright

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Imagination Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Crazy Quotes

12. “Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”

— Douglas Adams

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Crazy Quotes

13. “42 is a nice number that you can take home and introduce to your family.”

— Douglas Adams

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Fiction Quotes, Crazy Quotes

14. “Don’t ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what.”

— Michael Scott

Also featured in: Fiction Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Character Quotes

15. “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

— Yogi Berra

Also featured in: Hilarious Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Path Quotes, Clever Quotes

16. “The universe clearly operates for the benefit of humanity. This can be readily seen from the convenient way the sun comes up in the morning, when people are ready to start the day.”

— Terry Pratchett

Also featured in: Quotes About Humanity, Hilarious Quotes, Funny Monday Quotes

17. “Truth! Freedom! Justice! And a hard-boiled egg!”

— Terry Pratchett

Also featured in: Hilarious Quotes, Justice Quotes

18. “Dead Last Finish is greater than Did Not Finish, which trumps Did Not Start.”

— Anonymous

Also featured in: Motivational Quotes, Goal Quotes, Fitness Quotes

19. “If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up someplace else.”

— Yogi Berra

Also featured in: Choices Quotes, Future Quotes, Sports Quotes, Travel Quotes

20. “I am too fond of reading books to care to write them.”

— Oscar Wilde

Also featured in: Quotes About Books And Reading, Witty Quotes

21. “So, please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install, a lovely bookcase on the wall.”

— Roald Dahl

Also featured in: Quotes About Books And Reading, Fiction Quotes, Witty Quotes

22. “There are some important differences between me and Tony Stark, like I have five kids, so I spend more time going to Disneyland than parties.”

— Elon Musk

23. “I have no stress, because I am the best.”

— Lil Wayne

Also featured in: Music Quotes, Artist Quotes, Crazy Quotes

24. “Real gs move in silence like lasagna.”

— Lil Wayne

Also featured in: Music Quotes, Real Quotes, Moving Quotes, Short Funny Quotes

25. “My life is perfect even when it’s not.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

Also featured in: Life Quotes, Short Quotes, Optimistic Quotes, Witty Quotes

26. “Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself.”

— Charlie Chaplin

Also featured in: Failure Quotes, Artist Quotes, Creative Quotes, Different Quotes

27. “Be the Mick Jagger of the Mailroom, the Warren Buffett of Bookkeeping and the Bono of stapler selling”

— Robin S. Sharma

Also featured in: Positive Work Quotes, Witty Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes

28. “If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.”

— Gilbert K. Chesterton

Also featured in: Failure Quotes, Quotes About Work, Witty Quotes

29. “Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.”

— Oscar Wilde

Also featured in: Witty Quotes, Funny Friday Quotes

30. “My name is Linus, and I am your God.”

— Linus Torvalds

31. “I’ve actually not read any books on time management.”

— Elon Musk

32. “Oh the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all.”

— Dr. Seuss

Also featured in: Winning Quotes, Joy Quotes, Quotes About Children

33. “Ever make mistakes in life? Let’s make them birds. Yeah, they’re birds now.”

— Bob Ross

Also featured in: Short Positive Quotes, Optimism Quotes, Imagination Quotes, Artist Quotes

34. “Fill your house with stacks of books, in all the crannies and all the nooks.”

— Dr. Seuss

Also featured in: Quotes About Books And Reading, Book Quotes, Reading Quotes

35. “Life is a beautiful magnificent thing, even to a jellyfish.”

— Charlie Chaplin

Also featured in: Perspective Quotes, Optimism Quotes, Joy Quotes, Beauty Quotes

36. “Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.”

— Noam Chomsky

Also featured in: Impossible Quotes, Clever Quotes

37. “Music is the only religion that delivers the goods.”

— Frank Zappa

Also featured in: Music Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Clever Quotes

38. “Of course I don’t look busy, I did it right the first time.”

— Scott Adams

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Firsts Quotes, Humor Quotes

39. “If it ain’t fun don’t do it.”

— Jack Canfield

Also featured in: Common Sense Quotes, Life Is Short Quotes, Joy Quotes, Fun Quotes

40. “I hate weekends because there is no stock market.”

— Rene Rivkin

Also featured in: Making Money Quotes

41. “If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.”

— Clint Eastwood

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Funny Quotes About Life, Funny Friday Quotes, Funny Thursday Quotes

42. “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”

— Robert A. Heinlein

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Funny Quotes About Life, Funny Friday Quotes

43. “You need to believe in things that aren’t true. How else can they become?”

— Terry Pratchett

Also featured in: Storytelling Quotes, Imagination Quotes, Quotes About Ideas

44. “Cat: Where are you going? Alice: Which way should I go? Cat: That depends on where you are going. Alice: I don’t know. Cat: Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”

— Lewis Carroll

Also featured in: Journey Quotes, Path Quotes, Different Quotes

45. “Don’t take life too seriously and have fun. Don’t waste your time on things that your ego will try and convince you are important.”

— RuPaul

Also featured in: Optimism Quotes, Life Is Short Quotes, Joy Quotes, Ego Quotes

46. “Death: Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom.”

— Terry Pratchett

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Funny Thursday Quotes

47. “Be silly. Be honest. Be kind.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Also featured in: Life Is Short Quotes, Compassion Quotes, Good Morning Quotes

48. “As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?”

— Cassandra Clare

Also featured in: Funny Quotes About Life, Funny Monday Quotes, Coffee Quotes

49. “If you can’t feed a team with two pizzas, it’s too large.”

— Jeff Bezos

Also featured in: Short Funny Quotes, Funny Motivational Quotes, Funny Friday Quotes

50. “Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.”

— Lemony Snicket

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes