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Top 380 Roxane Gay Quotes (2026 Update)
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Roxane Gay Quote: “Smoking felt good and always gave me a light buzz. Smoking also made me feel cool when I knew I was very, very uncool.”

101. “Smoking felt good and always gave me a light buzz. Smoking also made me feel cool when I knew I was very, very uncool.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “I want characters to do bad things and get away with their misdeeds. I want characters to think ugly thoughts and make ugly decisions. I want characters to make mistakes and put themselves first without apologizing for it.”

102. “I want characters to do bad things and get away with their misdeeds. I want characters to think ugly thoughts and make ugly decisions. I want characters to make mistakes and put themselves first without apologizing for it.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “It is startling to realize that even Oprah, a woman in her early sixties, a billionaire and one of the most famous women in the world, isn’t happy with herself, her body.”

103. “It is startling to realize that even Oprah, a woman in her early sixties, a billionaire and one of the most famous women in the world, isn’t happy with herself, her body.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “I was marked after that. Men could smell it on me, that I had lost my body, that they could avail themselves of my body, that I wouldn’t say no because I knew my no did not matter. They smelled it on me and took advantage, every chance they got.”

104. “I was marked after that. Men could smell it on me, that I had lost my body, that they could avail themselves of my body, that I wouldn’t say no because I knew my no did not matter. They smelled it on me and took advantage, every chance they got.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “Because I am not a touchy-feely person, I always feel this light shock, this surprise, really, when my skin comes into contact with another person’s skin. Sometimes that shock is pleasant, like Oh, here is my body in the world. Sometimes, it is not. I never know which it will be.”

105. “Because I am not a touchy-feely person, I always feel this light shock, this surprise, really, when my skin comes into contact with another person’s skin. Sometimes that shock is pleasant, like Oh, here is my body in the world. Sometimes, it is not. I never know which it will be.”

106. “Feminism, as of late, has suffered from a certain guilt by association because we conflate feminism with women who advocate feminism as part of their personal brand. When these figureheads say what we want to hear, we put them up on the Feminist Pedestal, and when they do something we don’t like, we knock them right off and then say there’s something wrong with feminism because our feminist leaders have failed us. We forget the difference between feminism and Professional Feminists.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “When I write on Twitter, I do other things: I’m working, grading, or reading, and I’m procrastinating, and I’ll pop on Twitter and be like, “Hey, what’s up? Yogurt’s delicious.””

107. “When I write on Twitter, I do other things: I’m working, grading, or reading, and I’m procrastinating, and I’ll pop on Twitter and be like, “Hey, what’s up? Yogurt’s delicious.””

Roxane Gay Quote: “This is to say, I know what it means to hunger without being hungry.”

108. “This is to say, I know what it means to hunger without being hungry.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “I am mortified by my music choices.”

109. “I am mortified by my music choices.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “Once upon a time, my life was a fairy tale and then I was stolen from everything I’ve ever loved. There was no happily ever after. After days of dying, I was dead.”

110. “Once upon a time, my life was a fairy tale and then I was stolen from everything I’ve ever loved. There was no happily ever after. After days of dying, I was dead.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “It’s okay if most of your friends are guys, but if you champion this as a commentary on the nature of female friendships, soul search a little.”

111. “It’s okay if most of your friends are guys, but if you champion this as a commentary on the nature of female friendships, soul search a little.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “Abandon the cultural myth that all female friendships must be bitchy, toxic, or competitive. This myth is like heels and purses – pretty but designed to SLOW women down.”

112. “Abandon the cultural myth that all female friendships must be bitchy, toxic, or competitive. This myth is like heels and purses – pretty but designed to SLOW women down.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “I want to look good. I want to feel good. I want to be beautiful in this body I am in.”

113. “I want to look good. I want to feel good. I want to be beautiful in this body I am in.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “My mother’s favorite saying is “Qui se ressemble s’assemble.” Whenever she didn’t approve of who I was spending time with, she’d say this ominously. It means, essentially, you are whom you surround yourself with.”

114. “My mother’s favorite saying is “Qui se ressemble s’assemble.” Whenever she didn’t approve of who I was spending time with, she’d say this ominously. It means, essentially, you are whom you surround yourself with.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “The medical community is not particularly interested in taking the pain of women seriously.”

115. “The medical community is not particularly interested in taking the pain of women seriously.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “I am nowhere near as brave as people believe me to be. As a writer, armed with words, I can do anything, but when I have to take my body out into the world, courage fails me.”

116. “I am nowhere near as brave as people believe me to be. As a writer, armed with words, I can do anything, but when I have to take my body out into the world, courage fails me.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “It is not possible for girlhood to be represented wholly – girlhood is too vast and too individual an experience.”

117. “It is not possible for girlhood to be represented wholly – girlhood is too vast and too individual an experience.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “What this debate shows us is that even in this day and age, the rights of women are not inalienable. Our rights can be and are, with alarming regularity, stripped away. I struggle to accept that my body is a legislative matter. The truth of this fact makes it difficult for me to breathe. I don’t feel like I have inalienable rights. I don’t feel free. I don’t feel like my body is my own.”

118. “What this debate shows us is that even in this day and age, the rights of women are not inalienable. Our rights can be and are, with alarming regularity, stripped away. I struggle to accept that my body is a legislative matter. The truth of this fact makes it difficult for me to breathe. I don’t feel like I have inalienable rights. I don’t feel free. I don’t feel like my body is my own.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “Buying into the notion of not that bad made me incredibly hard on myself for not “getting over it” fast enough as the years passed and I was still carrying so much hurt, so many memories. Buying into this notion made me numb to bad experiences that weren’t as bad as the worst stories I heard. For years, I fostered wildly unrealistic expectations of the kinds of experiences worthy of suffering until very little was worthy of suffering. The surfaces of my empathy became calloused.”

119. “Buying into the notion of not that bad made me incredibly hard on myself for not “getting over it” fast enough as the years passed and I was still carrying so much hurt, so many memories. Buying into this notion made me numb to bad experiences that weren’t as bad as the worst stories I heard. For years, I fostered wildly unrealistic expectations of the kinds of experiences worthy of suffering until very little was worthy of suffering. The surfaces of my empathy became calloused.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “What I know and what I feel are two very different things.”

120. “What I know and what I feel are two very different things.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “I am thinking about testimony I’ve heard from other women over the years – women sharing their truths, daring to use their voices to say, “This is what happened to me. This is how I have been wronged.” I’ve been thinking about how so much testimony is demanded of women, and still, there are those who doubt our stories.”

121. “I am thinking about testimony I’ve heard from other women over the years – women sharing their truths, daring to use their voices to say, “This is what happened to me. This is how I have been wronged.” I’ve been thinking about how so much testimony is demanded of women, and still, there are those who doubt our stories.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “My friendships, and I use that term loosely, were fleeting and fragile and often painful, with people who generally wanted something from me and were gone as soon as they got that something. I was so lonely I was willing to tolerate these relationships. The faint resemblance of human connection was enough. It had to be enough even though it wasn’t.”

122. “My friendships, and I use that term loosely, were fleeting and fragile and often painful, with people who generally wanted something from me and were gone as soon as they got that something. I was so lonely I was willing to tolerate these relationships. The faint resemblance of human connection was enough. It had to be enough even though it wasn’t.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “I step away as I notice a group of young, angry men walking toward us. I doubt that there is any particular reason for their anger. It is the anger that most men feel these days; they are angry about their impotence and their desires and their reality. It is an anger we all feel. But it is an anger only men can freely express.”

123. “I step away as I notice a group of young, angry men walking toward us. I doubt that there is any particular reason for their anger. It is the anger that most men feel these days; they are angry about their impotence and their desires and their reality. It is an anger we all feel. But it is an anger only men can freely express.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “Feminism’s failings do not mean we should eschew feminism entirely. People do terrible things all the time, but we don’t regularly disown our humanity. We disavow the terrible things. We should disavow the failures of feminism without disavowing its many successes and how far we have come.”

124. “Feminism’s failings do not mean we should eschew feminism entirely. People do terrible things all the time, but we don’t regularly disown our humanity. We disavow the terrible things. We should disavow the failures of feminism without disavowing its many successes and how far we have come.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “The ways we are taught to be a girl start when you are very young. When you are being taught, you don’t know about the points. When you are being taught to be a girl, the lessons are simply accepted-the price you pay for your curves, your holes. It’s only later, when you are older, after you’ve been taught, that you find out about the score sheet.”

125. “The ways we are taught to be a girl start when you are very young. When you are being taught, you don’t know about the points. When you are being taught to be a girl, the lessons are simply accepted-the price you pay for your curves, your holes. It’s only later, when you are older, after you’ve been taught, that you find out about the score sheet.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “Why do we view the boundaries people create for themselves as challenges? Why do we see someone setting a limit and then try to push?”

126. “Why do we view the boundaries people create for themselves as challenges? Why do we see someone setting a limit and then try to push?”

Roxane Gay Quote: “If women’s fortunes improve, it must mean men’s fortunes will suffer, as if there is a finite amount of good fortune in the universe that cannot be shared equally between men and women.”

127. “If women’s fortunes improve, it must mean men’s fortunes will suffer, as if there is a finite amount of good fortune in the universe that cannot be shared equally between men and women.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “Writing has always allowed me to escape. I was a very lonely child. Because I was very socially awkward, I would always have trouble making friends. And so reading and writing allowed me to have friends and to have an active imaginary life that really sort of kept me sane.”

128. “Writing has always allowed me to escape. I was a very lonely child. Because I was very socially awkward, I would always have trouble making friends. And so reading and writing allowed me to have friends and to have an active imaginary life that really sort of kept me sane.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “I want characters to do the things I am afraid to do for fear of making myself more unlikable than I may already be. I want characters to be the most honest of all things – human.”

129. “I want characters to do the things I am afraid to do for fear of making myself more unlikable than I may already be. I want characters to be the most honest of all things – human.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “There are times when I wish finding community was as simple as entering some personal information and letting an algorithm show me where I belong. And then I realize that in many ways, this is what the Internet and social networking has done for me – offered community.”

130. “There are times when I wish finding community was as simple as entering some personal information and letting an algorithm show me where I belong. And then I realize that in many ways, this is what the Internet and social networking has done for me – offered community.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “What I resent in 12 Years a Slave is how the suffering of women is used to further a man’s narrative.”

131. “What I resent in 12 Years a Slave is how the suffering of women is used to further a man’s narrative.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “What may be most terrifying is just how real reality television is, after all. We say we watch these shows to feel better about ourselves, to have that reassurance that we are not that desperate. We are not that green. But perhaps we watch these shows because in the green girls interrupted, we see more than anything, the plainest selections of ourselves, garishly exposed but unfettered.”

132. “What may be most terrifying is just how real reality television is, after all. We say we watch these shows to feel better about ourselves, to have that reassurance that we are not that desperate. We are not that green. But perhaps we watch these shows because in the green girls interrupted, we see more than anything, the plainest selections of ourselves, garishly exposed but unfettered.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “I was cold, I’ve been told. I often write stories about women who are perceived as cold and resent that perception. I write these women because I know what it’s like to have so much warmth roiling beneath the skin’s surface, ready to be found. I am not cold. I wasn’t ever cold. My warmth was hidden far away from anything that could bring hurt because I knew I didn’t have the inner scaffolding to endure any more hurt in those protected places.”

133. “I was cold, I’ve been told. I often write stories about women who are perceived as cold and resent that perception. I write these women because I know what it’s like to have so much warmth roiling beneath the skin’s surface, ready to be found. I am not cold. I wasn’t ever cold. My warmth was hidden far away from anything that could bring hurt because I knew I didn’t have the inner scaffolding to endure any more hurt in those protected places.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “There’s a lot to love about breaking things. Everyone.”

134. “There’s a lot to love about breaking things. Everyone.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “During my twenties, my personal life was the hottest mess. The hottest. It will never be that messy again because I’ve grown up and I finally give enough of a damn about myself to avoid burning myself in that kind of fire. I’m still a mess, but I’m a different kind of mess now. I can generally identify what the mess is and where it’s coming from.”

135. “During my twenties, my personal life was the hottest mess. The hottest. It will never be that messy again because I’ve grown up and I finally give enough of a damn about myself to avoid burning myself in that kind of fire. I’m still a mess, but I’m a different kind of mess now. I can generally identify what the mess is and where it’s coming from.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “Fat daughters and their thin mothers have especially complicated relationships.”

136. “Fat daughters and their thin mothers have especially complicated relationships.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “I am weary of all our sad stories – not hearing them, but that we have these stories to tell, that there are so many.”

137. “I am weary of all our sad stories – not hearing them, but that we have these stories to tell, that there are so many.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “Many comedians are very proud of themselves for saying the things others are supposedly afraid to say. They are at the forefront of this culture of entitlement where we get to do anything, think anything, and say anything.”

138. “Many comedians are very proud of themselves for saying the things others are supposedly afraid to say. They are at the forefront of this culture of entitlement where we get to do anything, think anything, and say anything.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “The story of my life is wanting, hungering, for what I cannot have or, perhaps, wanting what I dare not allow myself to have.”

139. “The story of my life is wanting, hungering, for what I cannot have or, perhaps, wanting what I dare not allow myself to have.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “It took you twelve years to see that being “good” had gotten your piano teacher everywhere and you nowhere at all. So you decide, for the first time in your life, that you aren’t going to be one of the good girls anymore. You decide that “good” is not an adjective that ought to be applied to a person, as it only rendered you inanimate and inhuman, like a piece of cheese or a watercolor painting.”

140. “It took you twelve years to see that being “good” had gotten your piano teacher everywhere and you nowhere at all. So you decide, for the first time in your life, that you aren’t going to be one of the good girls anymore. You decide that “good” is not an adjective that ought to be applied to a person, as it only rendered you inanimate and inhuman, like a piece of cheese or a watercolor painting.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “I am not cold. I wasn’t ever cold. My warmth was hidden far away from anything that could bring hurt because I knew I didn’t have the inner scaffolding to endure any more hurt in those protected places.”

141. “I am not cold. I wasn’t ever cold. My warmth was hidden far away from anything that could bring hurt because I knew I didn’t have the inner scaffolding to endure any more hurt in those protected places.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “What goes unsaid is that women might be more ambitious and focused because we’ve never had a choice. We’ve had to fight to vote, to work outside the home, to work in environments free of sexual harassment, to attend the universities of our choice, and we’ve also had to prove ourselves over and over to receive any modicum of consideration.”

142. “What goes unsaid is that women might be more ambitious and focused because we’ve never had a choice. We’ve had to fight to vote, to work outside the home, to work in environments free of sexual harassment, to attend the universities of our choice, and we’ve also had to prove ourselves over and over to receive any modicum of consideration.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “We hold all people to unspoken rules about who and how they should be, how they should think, and what they should say. We say we hate stereotypes but take issue when people deviate from those stereotypes. Men don’t cry. Feminists don’t shave their legs. Southerners are racist. Everyone is, by virtue of being human, some kind of rule breaker, and my goodness, do we hate when the rules are broken.”

143. “We hold all people to unspoken rules about who and how they should be, how they should think, and what they should say. We say we hate stereotypes but take issue when people deviate from those stereotypes. Men don’t cry. Feminists don’t shave their legs. Southerners are racist. Everyone is, by virtue of being human, some kind of rule breaker, and my goodness, do we hate when the rules are broken.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “It is strange, and perhaps sad, that medical doctors came up with this terminology when they are charged with first doing no harm.”

144. “It is strange, and perhaps sad, that medical doctors came up with this terminology when they are charged with first doing no harm.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “Sherman Alexie wrote, “There are millions of teens who read because they are sad and lonely and enraged. They read because they live in an often-terrible world. They read because they believe, despite the callow protestations of certain adults, that books – especially the dark and dangerous ones – will save them.”

145. “Sherman Alexie wrote, “There are millions of teens who read because they are sad and lonely and enraged. They read because they live in an often-terrible world. They read because they believe, despite the callow protestations of certain adults, that books – especially the dark and dangerous ones – will save them.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “I do not suffer from ignorance where exercise is related. I suffer from inertia.”

146. “I do not suffer from ignorance where exercise is related. I suffer from inertia.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “I am always holding on to the hope of tomorrow.”

147. “I am always holding on to the hope of tomorrow.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “An angry man in cinema is Batman. An angry male musician is a member of Metallica. An angry male writer is Chekhov. An angry male politician is passionate, a revolutionary. He is a Donald Trump or a Bernie Sanders. The anger of men is a powerful enough tide to swing an election. But the anger of women? That has no place in government, so it has to flood the streets.”

148. “An angry man in cinema is Batman. An angry male musician is a member of Metallica. An angry male writer is Chekhov. An angry male politician is passionate, a revolutionary. He is a Donald Trump or a Bernie Sanders. The anger of men is a powerful enough tide to swing an election. But the anger of women? That has no place in government, so it has to flood the streets.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “These are gifted adolescent women who don’t get to be judged on their impressive talent: their bodies are already paramount to the work they want to do and it’s only going to get worse. At sixteen these students are being judged on their sexual attractiveness. Their talent is a gift, but it is not enough.”

149. “These are gifted adolescent women who don’t get to be judged on their impressive talent: their bodies are already paramount to the work they want to do and it’s only going to get worse. At sixteen these students are being judged on their sexual attractiveness. Their talent is a gift, but it is not enough.”

Roxane Gay Quote: “As Syreeta McFadden noted, “Only in America can a dead black boy go on trial for his own murder.”

150. “As Syreeta McFadden noted, “Only in America can a dead black boy go on trial for his own murder.”

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