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Top 450 Daniel Handler Quotes (2023 Update)
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Daniel Handler Quote: “I’m not a believer in predetermined fates, being rewarded for one’s efforts. I’m not a believer in karma. The reason why I try to be a good person is because I think it’s the right thing to do. If I commit fewer bad acts there will be fewer bad acts, maybe other people will join in committing fewer bad acts, and in time there will be fewer and fewer of them.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Hello, freaky peoples!”
Daniel Handler Quote: “You know, there’s a big world out there filled with desperate orphans who would gladly swim across an ocean of thumbtacks just to be eclipsed by the long shadow that is cast by my accomplishments.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “She gave me a hug and for a second I was embraced by a body that makes me want to go home and never eat again.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Whenever you are examining someone else’s belongings, you are bound to learn many interesting things about the person of which you were not previously aware.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Historically, a story about people inside impressive buildings ignoring or even taunting people standing outside shouting at them turns out to be a story with an unhappy ending.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Bad circumstances have a way of ruining things that would otherwise be pleasant.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Nobody wants to hear that you will try your best. It is the wrong thing to say. It is like saying ‘I probably won’t hit you with a shovel.’ Suddenly everyone is afraid you will do the opposite.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “It is very unnerving to be proven wrong, particularly when you are really right and the person who is really wrong is proving you wrong and proving himself, wrongly, right.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “The real Santa Claus is at the mall.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Olaf: Of course I’m trying to trick you! That’s the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everyone runs around with their secrets and their schemes, trying to outwit everyone else.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Writing is a dying form. One reads of this every day.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Even the best plans can change if there’s an accident.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Te quise y ahora te devuelvo tus cosas, las saco de mi vida como a ti...”
Daniel Handler Quote: “The right boys I always toss and the wrong ones I keep on top of me like paperweights.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “In the secret pocket, she often kept a small pocket dictionary, which she would take out whenever she encountered a word she did not know.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “It is terribly rude to tell people that their troubles are boring.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “If you are trying to fool a farsighted or dimwitted person, a veiled facial disguise might be enough.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Count Olaf certainly does sound evil. Imagine forcing children to stand near a stove!”
Daniel Handler Quote: “When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “The only thing he cares about.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Announcing your death should be like announcing that you are a lunar moth: It must be done quietly or it will not be believed.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “You know I want to be a director, but you could never truly see the movies in my head and that, Ed, is why we broke up.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don’t.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “You’d think that sweet would be a land far, far away from irritating, but as it turns out they’re right next door, and always having border disputes.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Right, good temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Young writers should read books past bedtime and write things down in notebooks when they are supposed to be doing something else.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Every new promise was like something heavy I had to carry, with no place to put anything down.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Complimenting someone in an exaggerated way is known as flattery, and flattery will generally get you anything you want...”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Oftentimes. when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “No soy una enamorada, soy una tonta.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Figuratively, they escaped from Cout Olaf and their miserable existence. They did not literally escape, because they were still in his house and vulnerable to Olaf’s evil in loco parentis ways.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “There’s information about everything from poetry to pills, from picture frames to pyramids, and from pudding to psychology – and that’s just in the P aisle, which we’re walking down right now.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “I stayed there loving you, though the love made me, not sad but I guess melancholy, for a reason I couldn’t point to.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “It was a secret time and place, you next to me, untraceable and out of this world.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Phillip Murray and Wanda Saxton meet in the last scene under the rainy awning, their wrong wife and fiance finally story-lined away, and walk out together into the downpour – we know from the first scene, Christmas eve, that both of them like walking in the rain but don’t have anybody who will do it with them – and it’s the miracle of the ending.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “One can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Someday we will all be dead people but in the meantime we have these problems to solve.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “This is love, to sit with someone you’ve known forever in a place you’ve been meaning to go, and watching as their life happens to them until you stand up and it’s time to go.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “It looked exhausting and pointless, two things that should be avoided at all costs.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “I can’t imagine why you would want to take your child to see what the career of a writer is like, because it mostly consists of sitting in a room typing, or going to the library and looking something up. Those are not exciting things to watch.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Put your hair up, Min. The secret ingredient is not your hair.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “I do think of emotions as being on a circular path, so you can feel terrible and terrible and terrible, and then all of a sudden it becomes quite funny.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “It is always tedious when someone tells you that if you don’t stop crying, they will give you something to cry about, because if you are crying then you already have something to cry about, and so there is no reason for them to give you anything additional to cry about, thank you very much.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize.”
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