Top 100

Top 450 Daniel Handler Quotes (2023 Update)
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Daniel Handler Quote: “The movie was kickass, which was appropriate, because tonight it was called Kickass: The Movie.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “So you’re reluctant, I said to myself. Many, many people are reluctant. It’s like having feet. It’s nothing to brag about.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “This is love if it’s not with you, a terrible fiery something that makes people look away, and it feels like a punch in the throat.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “I was so angry I knew it would boomerang someplace sometime soon.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Sometimes when someone tells a ridiculous lie, it is best to ignore it entirely.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Take it back, Ed. Take it all back.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “I liked, I admit, that we didn’t pretend there hadn’t been other girls. There was always a girl on you in the halls at school, like they came free with a backpack.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Those unable to catalog the past are doomed to repeat it.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “It is always terrible to be told to go play with people one doesn’t know...”
Daniel Handler Quote: “There are stories about people who have loved someone forever after laying eyes on them for a few minutes and then nevermore, but these stories have not happened to anyone we know. No, when you love someone you spend hours and hours with them, and even the mightiest forces in the netherworld could not say whether the hours you spend increase your love or if you simply spend more hours with someone as your love increases.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “It’s funny, particularly when you’re a writer and you’re doing well, you have that sense of like, “Oh! My view of the world is the one that’s going to be published.””
Daniel Handler Quote: “The flames rose bright on everyone’s screens, flickering lipstick red and traffic-cone orange and Lord knows what else, depending on how your television’s colour was.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “The file clanked against me, my stupid idea nobody would have gotten had I ever done it. You even wouldn’t have gotten it, Ed, I thought, watching her go. It’s why we broke up, so here it is. Ed, how could you?”
Daniel Handler Quote: “This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?”
Daniel Handler Quote: “There are some people who believe that home is where one hangs one’s hat, but these people tend to live in closets and on little pegs.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “This is love, to sit with someone you’ve known forever in a place you’ve been meaning to go, and watching as their life happens to them until you stand up and it’s time to go. You don’t care about yours. Why should it change, the love you feel, no matter how death goes?”
Daniel Handler Quote: “I like to think that I get better and better as a writer, but it seems pretty easy to me to slip on disguises of various people.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Treat reluctance like seasickness,” Errol said, picking something off his sleeve. “If you feel it, focus on the horizon.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “I’m not a cuckoo, either. I’m a fool is what.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Every time you said it, you really said it. It wasn’t like a sequel where Hollywood just lines up the same actors and hopes it works again. It was like a remake with a new director and crew trying something else and starting from scratch.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Goodness! Golly! Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne! Don’t touch her! Grab her! Move closer! Run away! Don’t move! Kill the snake! Leave it alone! Give it some food! Don’t let it bite her! Lure the snake away! Here, snakey! Here, snakey snakey!”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except perhaps a few books on a few shelves.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “And I almost said I love you. Instead I said nothing and you said nothing.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “The more I protest that I’m not Lemony Snicket, and that I’m Daniel Handler instead, the more it becomes clear to the audience that I am in fact Lemony Snicket, that I am in fact standing in front of them.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “It is often difficult to admit that someone you love is not perfect, or to consider aspects of a person that are less than admirable.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “One has to adopt a sort of Zen calm, in which you know you wrote the best book that you could at the time.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “But there was more, as there always is when the love goes. She was haunted, naturally. Otherwise what is the point, why leave your rickety house, and why this yo-yo world giving us things and yanking them back?”
Daniel Handler Quote: “There is no way of knowing for sure whether or not you can trust someone, for the simple reason that circumstances change all of the time.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Criminals should be punished, not fed pastries.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “I couldn’t wait to see then again, beautiful things. Extraordinary.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “The sea is nothing but a library of all the tears in history.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “It has been said that the hardest job in the world is raising a child, but the people who says this have probably never worked at a comb factory or captured pirates on the high seas.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Sometime during your life – in fact, very soon – you may find yourself reading a book, and you may notice that a book’s first sentence can often tell you what sort of story your book contains.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “The trouble with talking about irony is, it’s such a slippery thing that the second you start talking about it, you’re a better example of it than you are an analyst.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “I guess it’s funny how life turns out?” she tried. “Not last I checked,” Errol said with a snort.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “When you start reading nonfiction books about piracy, you realize that it’s actually just a history of desperate people.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Another gift, another secret, another time to lean in and kiss me.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Love was in the air, so both of us walked through love on our way to the corner.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “If you wish to avoid an unpleasant story you had best put this book down.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Nobody wants to fall into a safety net, because it means the structure in which they’ve been living is in a state of collapse and they have no choice but to tumble downwards. However, it beats the alternative.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “She licked her lips and then wiped them on her hand, her dark lipstick staining her wrist like a suicide.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “After all, I was only eighteen then. I’m almost twenty now. I learned lots about narrative structure in my Honors English classes so I know what I’m doing.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “She spun the car through a right turn that would have killed us all had we been minor characters.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Wishing, like sipping a glass of punch, or pulling aside a bearskin rug in order to access a hidden trapdoor in the floor, is merely a quiet way to spend one’s time before the candles are extinguished on one’s birthday cake.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “If you open this you’ll see it’s empty, and you’ll wonder for a sec if it was empty when you gave it yo me – I can see it – another empty gesture you slipped into my hand like a bad bribe.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Money is like a child – rarely unaccompanied. When it disappears, look to those who were supposed to be keeping an eye on it while you were at the grocery store. You might also look for someone who has a lot of extra children sitting around, with long, suspicious explanations for how they got there.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Grinning is something you do when you are entertained in some way, such as reading a good book or watching someone you don’t care for spill orange soda all over themselves.”
Daniel Handler Quote: “Phil Needle stood in the parking lot, suddenly grasping that this was so, that nothing is lost in a world utterly mapped, that nothing is rogue with everything cross-pollinated, as the shouts on the beach lured him across the street to the sand.”
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