Top 450 Daniel Handler Quotes (2024 Update)
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301. “A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late reading them.”

— Daniel Handler

302. “One cannot spend forever sitting and solving the mysteries of oone’s history.”

— Daniel Handler

303. “Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.”

— Daniel Handler

304. “Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dreamed you’d see.”

— Daniel Handler

305. “I guess it’s funny how life turns out?” she tried. “Not last I checked,” Errol said with a snort.”

— Daniel Handler

306. “No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don’t read is often as important as what you do read.”

— Daniel Handler

307. “When you start reading nonfiction books about piracy, you realize that it’s actually just a history of desperate people.”

— Daniel Handler

308. “There are almost as many kinds of libraries as there are kinds of readers.”

— Daniel Handler

309. “I am so tired, I can hardly type these worfs.”

— Daniel Handler

310. “Members of your family might say they are working hard all day long, while you are off at school or clarinet lessons, but the only way to know this for sure is to follow them at a discreet distance.”

— Daniel Handler

311. “It is often said that reading is a gift, but to my mind that is an insufficient description, for the size of the gift of reading is so vast that it is difficult to see what is outside its wrapping.”

— Daniel Handler

312. “Shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people at any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down.”

— Daniel Handler

313. “A good thing to do when one is sitting, eating, and resting is to have a conversation.”

— Daniel Handler

314. “It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It looked like none of your business.”

— Daniel Handler

315. “I was so grateful that Lemony Snicket wasn’t the worst movie ever made that I overlooked many things that might have otherwise upset me.”

— Daniel Handler

316. “Sometimes even in most unfortunate of lives there will occur a moment or two of good.”

— Daniel Handler

317. “Make sure you have your own mask on, before helping others with theirs.”

— Daniel Handler

318. “Every night I give a violin recital for six hours, and attendance is mandatory. The word ‘mandatory’ means that if you don’t show up, you have to buy me a large bag of candy and watch me eat it.”

— Daniel Handler

319. “The quoting of an aphorism, like the angry barking of a dog or the smell of overcooked broccoli, rarely indicates that something helpful is about to happen.”

— Daniel Handler

320. “The movie was kickass, which was appropriate, because tonight it was called Kickass: The Movie.”

— Daniel Handler

321. “Are you who I think you are?”

— Daniel Handler

322. “It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself.”

— Daniel Handler

323. “I have a dream of what would have happened if what happened instead hadn’t.”

— Daniel Handler

324. “And then like a song we’d forgotten was even on the mix, you stepped into the house and my whole life.”

— Daniel Handler

325. “I find reading screenplays difficult, as they’re only a roadmap for what a movie might end up being.”

— Daniel Handler

326. “This world is suchier than we are, and the best thing to do is keep moving and find your keys.”

— Daniel Handler

327. “All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.”

— Daniel Handler

328. “They say that when you’re really in love, the world becomes gossamer and gorgeous, but in my experience the world gets grimy, and the love object is in stark relief from the surroundings. This is love, a pretty thing on an ugly street.”

— Daniel Handler

329. “I think one of the reasons it ended was that his eyes never lit up for me the way they did for classical music. I realize that in the long run I may not be as wonderful as a Brahms symphony but I think I’m good for a Haydn quintet.”

— Daniel Handler

330. “The hallway was lined with numbered doors, odd numbers on one side and even numbers on the other, and large ornamental vases, too large to hold flowers and too small to hold spies.”

— Daniel Handler

331. “I’ve never had a musical career. So I think it’s been unaffected. I play the accordion. In terms of thinking of it as a musical career, I think it’s sort of like calling yourself an astronaut because you have a shiny suit.”

— Daniel Handler

332. “I like writing for movies. It’s nice to be alone working on fiction in your room, and then it’s nice to be in a room with a bunch of people working on a movie.”

— Daniel Handler

333. “I was never a fan of anything, and yet some people are fans of my books. That’s a bit odd. But I like meeting them.”

— Daniel Handler

334. “I thought it was one thing but it was the other, it was zero zero zero alone on the bus while you slept in the room I had to leave, and that’s why we broke up.”

— Daniel Handler

335. “The library was one enormous room, with long, high metal shelves and the perfect quiet that libraries provide for anyone looking for an answer.”

— Daniel Handler

336. “You know, despite all my world-weariness and cynicism, I think I’ve always believed that there is one person in the universe for whom you are truly meant – and the fact that sometimes there are two or even more people on the earth you can fall in love with really bothers me. It suggests that if you work hard you can be meant for anyone.”

— Daniel Handler

337. “Everyone tells you it’s all right to cry, but not enough people say it’s all right if you don’t want people to know.”

— Daniel Handler

338. “She didn’t look like a girl who would ruin the whole thing at all.”

— Daniel Handler

339. “Forever and ever, world without end.”

— Daniel Handler

340. “If you enjoy books with happy endings than you are better off reading some other book.”

— Daniel Handler

341. “So you’re reluctant, I said to myself. Many, many people are reluctant. It’s like having feet. It’s nothing to brag about.”

— Daniel Handler

342. “This is love if it’s not with you, a terrible fiery something that makes people look away, and it feels like a punch in the throat.”

— Daniel Handler

343. “I was so angry I knew it would boomerang someplace sometime soon.”

— Daniel Handler

344. “Sometimes when someone tells a ridiculous lie, it is best to ignore it entirely.”

— Daniel Handler

345. “It is often difficult to admit that someone you love is not perfect, or to consider aspects of a person that are less than admirable.”

— Daniel Handler

346. “Take it back, Ed. Take it all back.”

— Daniel Handler

347. “She was all the world’s money, and I would spend it with her, my sharpest friend who changed the tide, my only comfort from the brutal gamble of the world and the wicked ways of men.”

— Daniel Handler

348. “It is one of life’s bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting.”

— Daniel Handler

349. “There is no way of knowing for sure whether or not you can trust someone, for the simple reason that circumstances change all of the time.”

— Daniel Handler

350. “Once more, this is love: it rings and you open up unless it looks like an ax murderer.”

— Daniel Handler