Top 250 Dorothy Parker Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”

— Dorothy Parker

Featured in: Fun Quotes

2. “Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.”

— Dorothy Parker

Featured in: Creativity Quotes

3. “What fresh hell is this?”

— Dorothy Parker

Featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Funny Monday Quotes, Bad Day Quotes

4. “Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.”

— Dorothy Parker

5. “Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.”

— Dorothy Parker

6. “I hate writing, I love having written.”

— Dorothy Parker

7. “Writing well is the best revenge.”

— Dorothy Parker

8. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.”

— Dorothy Parker

9. “I give her sadness and the gift of pain, a new moon madness and a love of rain.”

— Dorothy Parker

10. “Women and elephants never forget.”

— Dorothy Parker

11. “Art is a form of catharsis emotional release, purging, cleansing, purifying.”

— Dorothy Parker

12. “Never complain, never explain.”

— Dorothy Parker

13. “They sicken of the calm who know the storm.”

— Dorothy Parker

14. “The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”

— Dorothy Parker

15. “Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.”

— Dorothy Parker

16. “The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.”

— Dorothy Parker

17. “Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.”

— Dorothy Parker

18. “Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.”

— Dorothy Parker

19. “If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.”

— Dorothy Parker

20. “You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.”

— Dorothy Parker

21. “Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.”

— Dorothy Parker

22. “Don’t feel bad when I die; I’ve been dead for a long time.”

— Dorothy Parker

23. “My first love was Cinderella, but she ran off with another man.”

— Dorothy Parker

24. “Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.”

— Dorothy Parker

25. “I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.”

— Dorothy Parker

Featured in: Romance Quotes

26. “I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.”

— Dorothy Parker

27. “Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.”

— Dorothy Parker

28. “The sweeter the apple, the blacker the core. Scratch a lover and find a foe!”

— Dorothy Parker

Featured in: Broken Heart Quotes

29. “If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?”

— Dorothy Parker

30. “Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.”

— Dorothy Parker

31. “Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.”

— Dorothy Parker

32. “I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.”

— Dorothy Parker

33. “A hangover is the wrath of grapes.”

— Dorothy Parker

34. “This living, this living, this living Was never a project of mine.”

— Dorothy Parker

35. “Travel, trouble, music, art, a kiss, a frock, a rhyme – I never said they feed my heart, but still they pass my time.”

— Dorothy Parker

36. “It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.”

— Dorothy Parker

37. “Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!”

— Dorothy Parker

38. “Trapped like a trap in a trap.”

— Dorothy Parker

39. “The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.”

— Dorothy Parker

40. “Be you wise and never sad, You will get your lovely lad. Never serious be, nor true, And your wish will come to you – And if that makes you happy, kid, You’ll be the first it ever did.”

— Dorothy Parker

41. “Newton’s Fourth Law: Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.”

— Dorothy Parker

42. “I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.”

— Dorothy Parker

43. “The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.”

— Dorothy Parker

44. “That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.”

— Dorothy Parker

Featured in: Hilarious Quotes

45. “Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.”

— Dorothy Parker

46. “By the time you swear you’re his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this – One of you is lying.”

— Dorothy Parker

47. “The sun’s gone dim, and the moon’s gone black. For I loved him, and he didn’t love back.”

— Dorothy Parker

48. “That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”

— Dorothy Parker

49. “If I should labor through daylight and dark, Consecrate, valorous, serious, true, Then on the world I may blazon my mark; And what if I don’t, and what if I do?”

— Dorothy Parker

50. “I don’t mind anything that’s written about me, as long as it’s not true.”

— Dorothy Parker